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Peer pressure to drink alcohol

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by kaerfaima, Oct 29, 2014.

  1. kaerfaima

    kaerfaima Member

    I just had my first job. I had new peers from the job. In my area where at friday and saturday nights, people go to clubs and places where they could drink until they drop. I thought that I'll only see this in movies but I just witnessed it with my eyes. After the last day of my first week, my new "friends" invited me to go and eat. Because of peer pressure, it was kind of hard to put down their request for me to join. There I was thinking that I had to build up a good relation with my co-workers so that I can perform better on my job so I joined them not knowing what would happened next. They took me on a bar. It was a nice place with nice live mellow music but with a lot of drunk people. Everybody was drinking and so they forced me to drink also. I did made a lot of excuses just so I can pass on the shots. I do not drink. Never in my life that I've been drunk and never I want to be. So I eat, txt anybody, call anybody, played on my phone for hours until they are all down. I don't know what they are so excited with alcohol at. It doesn't even taste good (That's my unpopular opinion). The worse thing is that I don't know what to do since I don't even know where they live and they are all down so I have to wait until they wake up. Luckily I didn't have to wait for a very long time. As a non-drinker, I hate that experience a lot. I know that I'm not the only one.
  2. Juan

    Juan Active Contributor

    Well, sometimes certain social situations will make you feel pressured into drinking or engaging in other activities that you wouldn't want to participate in the first place. I find that establishing your position from the very beginning will have others respecting your opinion in the long run. What I would recommend is that you talk to your coworkers at the office, when they're sober, and just tell them that you just don't drink alcohol. That you have no problem joining them but you just simply don't drink. That is, of course, if you want to join them again.

    When you go against the tide, you will always find people who will get upset. The will call you names, they will insist and get angry or agressive. I would recommend you avoid them. By personal experience, at some point some of your coworkers will get to know you better and respect you for what you are instead of what they want you to be.

    The bottom line here is that you shouldn't let yourself be pushed by your coworkers. Concentrate on your work and what you should deliver as an employee. Out of the office, they have no business in what you want to do with your life.
  3. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I've been there before. Friends or supposed friends would try to entice you to drink alcohol on the weekends or after work. Once you get into the routine of drinking after work or on the weekends, it becomes part of the norm.

    Just remember that you need to do what you have to do to survive and be happy. If you want to be alone and concentrate on building yourself, then go do it.
  4. Onionman

    Onionman Active Contributor

    In situations like that you really do get to appreciate what you value in life and what's important to you. At least you do so if you don't succumb to peer pressure.

    It's difficult being the new kid trying to fit in, as we've all been in situations where we've compromised what we believe in or how we think we're supposed to behave. At least you have an awareness of the situation and, hopefully, have the power of choice. It's not always easy to say "no" in such social settings, but know that being able to say that is a sign of strength and not a sign of weakness.
  5. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    I don't want to take an unpopular opinion here, but I think it needs to be said. It's not easy to say no, but it's 100% possible. Nobody can force you to drink. Unless they are physically holding you down and pouring alcohol into your mouth, and if that's the case, you should stop using the word "friends" and "peers" because clearly they are not in this case.

    I'm not saying peer pressure isn't hard, but I've had a lot of success with just saying stuff like "No" and "I'm good man, do your thing" or "I don't want to". Be firm and insist on things happening on your terms. You say they took you to a bar, but unless they dragged you kicking and screaming into the bar, it seems to me like you had a few choices, and didn't make the hard ones. I'm not trying to be a jerk here, truly, but a certain amount of personal responsibility needs to be taken into account here. Saying, "I went in" "I paid for it" "I drank it" but "I didn't want to" is kind of a cop out, and not really taking responsibility for ones actions. Sure, your peers played a significant role in it, but at the end of the day it's you that's going to decide to get sober (if addicted) and it's you that's going to have to do the hard work.
  6. Allen24

    Allen24 Active Contributor

    It is perfectly okay not to drink or to drink sparingly. Don't let others pressure you into getting drunk. I understand that you want to bond with your coworkers but if they are decent people they'll respect your decision. You can still have fun with them at a club or bar without getting drunk. Plus, once they have been drinking they'll likely lose track of how much you are drinking. Just order a drink and sip slowly on it. Or don't order a drink at all-- get a soda with a lime wedge or something. Nobody will know the difference.
    Nick W. likes this.
  7. frogsandlegos

    frogsandlegos Active Contributor

    I can understand and relate to your feelings of pressure. But, that being said, no job / working environment is worth being in a toxic situation that could be detrimental to your health and well being. Your coworkers should RESPECT you. And, I agree that you should also stand up for yourself - and respect yourself enough - to say NO.
    Nick W. likes this.
  8. Ronsa

    Ronsa Active Contributor

    It is hard feeling when people entice you to drink while you do not feel like doing it. Maybe you can tell them that alcohols do not suit you well and bet them not insist you drink with them. Try avoiding going to bar with them after work as you deserve the right to live happily yourself.
    Nick W. likes this.
  9. calebmelvern

    calebmelvern Member

    I've been in that situation several times. I know hard it is to say no. You wouldn't want your co-workers to think that you don't want to hang out with them. But good co-workers (and friends) know how to draw the line and respect you. I learned this the hard way. I reached the point wherein I was inviting friends whom I know do not drink at all. And then one day it hit me, "What in the world am I doing?" It's a good life lesson.
  10. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    I've found in situations like this, it's best to just be upfront and casual about it. You can hang out and eat, but not drink. A simple, "No, I'm good. I'm not drinking tonight" should be enough. Some people prefer to make up excuses, and that's cool, but I think a simple short answer should be enough. Real friend probably don't care anyway, as long as everyone is having a good time.
  11. jurew2

    jurew2 Member

    I know how hard it is to say when you're peer pressured and that you have to come up with ridiculous excuses about why you don't want to drink. I'm not a heavy drinker as some of my friends are and they try to pressure me to drink more than I'm comfortable with, but I turn them down quite easily now because I found a way to do so. I think that this kind of peer pressure is really annoying and can be harmful to a lot of people; the people that are causing the pressure don't realize that. I think that you should think about how your peers see you, you should think what you want and what is best for you. This is my advice.
  12. StillFighting

    StillFighting Member

    I can totally relate to the awkwardness experienced at a club or being surrounded by drunk people. If I personally am not drinking, those types of environments are not fun to me. I'm more of a introverted person to begin with, so I "need" to be a little buzzed in order to let loose and dance, etc. I'm not a big drinker, so I have no desire to go to those places. If invited, I'd more than likely turn down the invitation. On the other hand, I would jump at the chance to go out to dinner, a sports game, bowling, or any place that is fun even without getting drunk and crazy. I've never felt pressured by my friends or coworkers to drink; they are perfectly fine that I drink pop or iced tea. Any pressure I've felt to drink has come from myself, from my desire to "let go" for a while, but it is uncomfortable social situations, such as parties or clubs, that makes me want to drink excessively anyway. Honestly, it can be the most unbearable experience to be the only sober person surrounded by a bunch of drunks!

    If I were you, I would be honest with yourself and figure out if you really enjoy the type of socializing you do with your new peers. If you have to drink to have fun, then maybe that's not the place to be every weekend. Be honest with them and let them know that the partying isn't "you" if that's the case. Going out to party doesn't make you an alcoholic, but it can definitely make you miserable if you aren't comfortable with the environment.
  13. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Well, probably it's a really stressing job and because that they find the escape of alcohol. They see in those Fridays and Saturdays a way out from the hard work or something like that, this is why they love drinking so much. Not the drinking, but the felling they get when drinking, because at those times they are on their free time not at their jobs.
  14. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Good for you that you do not give in to their pressure. :)
    I am also a not drinker but sometimes I do go in a bar with friends and most of them are drinking. Good thing that when you say no, they will respect that since they really knew I am not a drinker. Maybe when they realize that you are not really a drinker, they will no longer push you that hard and will just allow you to enjoy the foods instead. Or if they remain too forceful, better not to go with them.
  15. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Socializing with co-workers shouldn't entail compromising your basic principles to fit in. Being firm from the very start pays off in the end because no one will ever try to get you to drink again. Should they decide that your being a non-drinker isn't acceptable [to them], then that would be even much better because they won't ask you to accompany them when they go out drinking. But of course you could just tag along — and be their permanent designated driver.
  16. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I know how you feel. I'm not a drinker myself and beer is very popular here so almost everyone loved dragging me to bars to drink. I can drink a fair amount so I'm not too angry about it, and I am still able to find it enjoyable but for the most part it just feels so boring to me especially when we're all just sitting down and drinking and talking. I'd rather just have a conversation over coffee if they really wanted to talk, and if they wanted to drink I'd prefer to have at least some activity to do like playing pool or partying.
  17. ImMrCuriosity

    ImMrCuriosity Member

    As I read on the top... They can pressure as much as they can, but the one who decides it's you. You're not on the need of drinking to be socially accepted. It isn't necessary drinking alcohol to have fun a saturday night. So if you don't want to drink, just say "no" and they will have to respect your decision!
  18. juliaintheclouds

    juliaintheclouds Active Contributor

    Even though you say they forced you to drink, you really didn't have to. I'm sure they didn't pour the alcohol down your throat, but they did peer pressure you and that's not cool. In these types of situations you should assert yourself by stating that you do not want to drink. If you want to be polite take one drink and sip i slowly and then order some water. I often order my drinks very weak in a tall glass and drink them slowly over the evening.
  19. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    I had a problem with alcohol some years back. Thanks to God, that is now behind me and I do not crave a drink. Most people who knew me them still insist that I should have a glass of wine to join the party. Now that I am older, I do not mind telling them a big no. I make sure that I know what I am served in a glass. If I am suspicious that it may contain alcohol, I do not touch it. You can still have fun with your office mates as long as you are vigilant as they could try to trick you by spiking your drink.
  20. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    I think that's pretty much a matter of choice, we can follow them and get drunk or not, but we don't want to feel left out right? So just hang on to a glass or two all night, most of them won't even notice. ;)