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People can stop on their own

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by primalclaws1974, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    My wife was totally and completely into weed when we met and got together. She and her brother were high together 24/7 it seemed. She was high at work, she was high when she drove, and she was high when we were together (I was never into it). She would be so messed up that she could barely focus her eyes. I have never seen someone so high they looked totally drunk. I am just trying to get the point across how bad she was, even though it was "only" marijuana. Because I didn't do it, she started to do it less. The more serious we got the less she did. When she got pregnant she quit altogether. Since my son's birth nine years ago, she has smoked about three times. You can control yourself if there is a good enough reason. Your thoughts?
    Teresa likes this.
  2. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    I think it's great that your wife has managed her habit to practically nil for that long. It's also great that the two of you are able to bring that little man up in a good environment. Those moments with him at this age are going to go by really fast.

    My thoughts on controlling a habit are kind of on the fence, like you said it 'only' marijuana. But it is a matter of what is most important to you that you would want to control or even quit that habit altogether. Your wife has found two important reasons.
    Ones and primalclaws1974 like this.
  3. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I think a lot of people quit their substance abuse once they realize that they are going to be responsible for another life apart from their own, as in getting pregnant. Another big reason for many to stop using, is a health scare of some sort that brings them back down to earth.
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  4. Mockingbird

    Mockingbird Member

    I think for some people drug abuse is a learned method of inappropriately handling the stress in their lives. The world is a crazy place today no wonder folks get frazzled. Can't say I blame anyone for feeling anxiety about that. But after that it is an active choice of what you do next, how do you process your level of stress? do they find way to push on? or do they decide they will just medicate and forget. It's sad really.
  5. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Yes, willpower is a very strong force. Some people have even beat way bigger obstacles than addiction with just willpower and a headstrong attitude. It doesn't even have to be any drastic reason. It could just be some simple random decision you make one day and if you're serious about it enough then you could eventually achieve it.
  6. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    I agree we all need a motivation to stop doing something that hurts us. The fact that you did not smoke weed was a good influence on her. Her love for you and the unborn baby brought a new focus into her life. It is very difficult to break an addiction especially when surrounded by people who keep tempting you to indulge. Where there is a will a way will be found. Congrats to your wife. Out of curiosity, did her brother stop?
  7. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    Congrats to her and I do agree with you to an extent but some persons find it more challenging to control themselves.There are also persons who do it for fun and are dependent on the drug, then you have those that are indefinitely addicted. It also depends on the level of addiction and support that one has.
  8. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Fact, all addictions were started by a individual, it can be all stopped by the same individual! I have nothing else to write here... except don't give up your goals to stop doing drugs and get better in life!
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  9. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    That is true but it also depends on the level of one's addiction. The impact of the withdrawal symptoms are greater on some, therefore it makes it harder for the person to quit. Persons like that will definitely need professional help when trying to quit as they may do things that will affect their health, for example; Someone who who tries to withdraw themselves from smoking cigarettes, then start having convulsions,, based on how serious they may need medical attention.[Q8888880808UOTE="valiantx, post: 7836, member: 302"]Fact, all addictions were started by a individual, it can be all stopped by the same individual! I have nothing else to write here... except don't give up your goals to stop doing drugs and get better in life![/QUOTE]
  10. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    I am not an expert about addictions, nor do I claim to be. I know that my mom smoked cigarettes for 35 years, always using the excuse that she was afraid her withdrawals would kill her. I am not saying this could not happen (although I have never heard of such a thing, with cigarettes), it only seems likely if someone else had other serious health issues. Davienna used the example that someone might have convulsions. I would think that would only happen if they have a history of epilepsy.
  11. Miles Hansen

    Miles Hansen Member

    While it is true that you can stop on your own (I should know, I did.) I definitely don't think this should be the mindset when dealing with abusers professionally, or just helping out a friend in need.
    While it is possible it's definitely not easy, and I recon a lot of people need help in the form of therapy or just a strong social network, be it friends or family, to support and be there for them.
    I have a distant family member who also found a lot of help through her church, in help with her alcohol addiction. Faith is a powerful thing, and her local church community were nothing but supportive of her every step of the way.
  12. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    I should add that I am not against the idea of getting help. But I person has to want to give up their addiction. I know some people use every excuse they can think of not to quit. This can range from withdrawal, like I mentioned above, to too much stress, no one cares, or no one will help them. My thoughts are that there are people that loved you, and if that isn't a good enough reason to pull yourself up, what is?
    MrsJones likes this.
  13. Miles Hansen

    Miles Hansen Member

    I agree with you, certainly, it's just that some people might not be able to quit by themselves. Addiction is a very serious mental state, and places like addiction treatment centers exist because a lot of people can't quit on their own. I think thinking about the people who love you is a great thing, but when treating an addiction you primary concern should be yourself.
  14. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    I agree with you primalclaws. I was a social drinker and even smoker. But when I met my husband who was not into bar hopping and especially smoking (he hates the smell), I stopped because that would mean I would be out on a Friday or weekend when we could be together. Besides, personally, it was embarrassing for me to be the one smoking and drinking while he was not.

    Congratulations on being a positive influence to your wife! Instead of you getting dragged into it, you gradually made her quit. That's really an inspiring story to emulate. I hope we will have more people like you. Kudos to her too for trying her best to be clean for you and your family. All the best to you both!
  15. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I am impressed that you stood by your wife for all those years her drug problem notwithstanding.I think it was because of you that she was finally able to quit.Sometimes all that is needed for people to change is a little support and affection.
  16. greensat

    greensat Member

    I totally agree, most drug addictions can be stopped without professional help. I've been reading this psychology book and I've ran across this unit on drugs and therapy. It says that most people who has taken drugs can actually stop without resorting to professional help or therapy.
  17. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    You are a brave and devoted man for staying with your wife when she was using drugs. That showed that you were not giving up on her. It is tough dealing with drugs especially if the person you live with or know is using them. I would imagine the miracle that came when your wife had stopped using drugs. I am hurt to have read that she smoke weed nine years ago when your son was born. The addiction being that bad then it would not be surprising to see someone smoke when they have kids around. Drugs are a very sad case that hurts everyone not just one person.
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  18. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    Wow, that's quite an inspirational story. Love is a huge factor and a huge factor for change in all our lives. We are willing to put someone else's needs and aspirations before ours, and it drives us to sacrifice our wants so they may have a better life. I'm really glad that she did this for your baby, and I think she is a great mother.
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  19. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I'm tempted to say something cheesy like love conquers all but decided against it. I do think the saying "it's all in the mind" does hold water if your wife's situation were any indicator. People are not aware that external intervention like rehabs and support groups would not be possible if one does not have the will and the conviction to change for the better. Your wife is a remarkable example of a person who successfully turned her life around through willpower.
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  20. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It was really a great thing or help that you do not use the substance cause she might just continue using it with you. Great thing too that she managed to stop it when she was pregnant obviously for her child. So true that with strong motivation or reasons, one can stop or control yourself.
    primalclaws1974 likes this.