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Perfectionism isn't the goal

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by True concern, Feb 25, 2020.

  1. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Many of us strive for perfection, well I'm sure perfection looks different to everyone and in reality it's unachievable because if we hit the "Perfect"standard we thought up it instantly changed to something even grander in our eyes and heart's therefore making it impossible to reach.Perfection for an addict/recovering addict should never be the goal,rather Self-acceptance and self esteem along with forgiveness both for the people who have negatively affected your life and forgiveness for yourself for the wrong you've done in your life.None of this is easy but it is in nearly every case of addict seeking redemption completely necessary. I myself have struggled intensely with addiction and I've always tried to dig deep to understand it's grip on me as well as other's. Addicts all have atleast one thing in common....We were never going to let it get this far-we all believed our own lies to ourselves when we convinced ourselves (We would never become addicted)One thing substances are great at besides the false sense of security and the misleading (Best feeling in the world)is hiding the fine print.The way I see it now is like a contract between us and the substance.The cover page is always great,energy,ability to focus,work longer and harder,feel great all the time.....but we always ignore the fine print...Will shorten life expectancy, will destroy your true character,will cost you jobs and will destroy your family.These things will weigh on you like a brick wall once they happen and addiction will try to convince you(There is no hope)....Addiction is once again lying to us all...It can be defeated,you can overcome it's grasp,you can break free of its chain's that weigh you down and no it won't be easy,but nothing worth doing ever is.I am grateful for the life I've lived,if nothing else God gave me a heart of true compassion and understanding, this allows me to take my failures as an addict and share them with the world in hopes it can help other's change their lives for the better or even reach someone before they ever try that substance and thus means alot to me as i don't like seeing people hurt.If you are trapped by addiction reach out for support, here we can be in your corner rooting for you,checking on you,just being there as best we can,however it's going to be a little harder than that...your going to need to see an addiction specialist and a therapist who understands and maybe even specializes in addiction. On top of these things you must do a self inventory, digging deep and finding what you want to change,what you need to change,and what you must change...Also you have to locate the trauma and you must release it via your therapist or someone neutral who you trust....most times best with the therapist.I want you all to know your worth more than you may feel,your loved more than you may know,and we all here on this site are honored to have you around,so never hang your head in shame..look up,never feel hopeless...your not alone,and never give up on yourselves because we won't ever give up on you.

    Stay Strong and God Bless
  2. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    Great post brother. Love it!
    True concern likes this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Thank you sir, I am feeling a bit better on my new bipolar meds so mentally I can feel to write the way I NEED to write.It makes me smile because I was losing the ability to write which I'm very passionate about so it's been hard to stay positive but if I hold together this time on these meds I should be able to put together some great threads,threads with meaning, threads that supply comfort and hope and that to me is priceless
  4. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    I look forward to them. Glad your doing better that makes me smile as well.
    True concern likes this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Thank you brother it means alot to know people are out there who care
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  6. Bullwinkle

    Bullwinkle Community Champion

    “Perfection, what is willed for others, the breath that smothers”

    I’m not enough-ism is the result of perfectionism and is a major reason for substance and non-substance addiction.

    From the Alcoholics Anonymous text page 60, Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
    True concern likes this.
  7. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Thank you for your post @Bullwinkle I appreciate you and perhaps you are adapting to how you respond as I understand you better than I had but then again maybe you haven't changed anything and I'm just growing more tolerant and putting in more effort to try and understand. Take Care buddy and have a peaceful evening/day
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator


    @Bullwinkle I like you and don't give a sh1t who has a problem with it.Thank you for the past 20 years plus
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I am confused because I typed so so much more yet this is all it posted...but I still mean what it shows even though some glitch or something happened
    Joshstillclean likes this.