I have been fighting this addiction for a long time. I relapsed again after 3 or 4 months now. I'm very depressed everyday and I don't want to do anymore. My mom kicked me out I can't see my daughter and the guy I'm dating has let me stay with him and he wants me to get out. I just lied to him and I love him so much. He has helped me stay clean and now I have messed up. I have realised that this is not for me. But I guess I had to really see. I know I have lost the only man I love. I have once again let him and myself down. To be honest I don't even know why I'm here anymore .