Hi I'm new. My name is Kassidy I'm 33 yrs old.........I used at the beginning of my pregnancy with my daughter before I knew I was prego. I stopped. Then 2 years later I had a son and during my pregnancy I used worse. I'm so ashamed. No one knows this. I dont how the hospital didnt see that my son was more than likely positive for meth. By the grace God. There is so much that has happened since. I've had 2 CPS cases both of them were from anonymous callers saying all the accusations towards my soon to be husband. We went through inpatient rehab for 3 months last march through june. We came home got our kids back. Then around September my fiance relapsed and I did too. Thanksgiving morning I woke up to find my fiance and daughter gone. I called his phone over and over but no answer. Immediately I felt something was so wrong. Then I get a call from police he had totalled the car with my daughter. They lived. He is facing felony DWI WITH A CHILD AND POSSESSION OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE 1-4 GRAMS. THATS WHEN CPS GOT INVOLVED FOR 2ND TIME. MY MOM TOOK MY CHILDREN AND WE WENT TO COURT SPENT 25,000 ON ATTORNEY FOR MYSELF AND MY MOM SPENT 26,000 FOR HER ATTORNEY. LONG STORY SHORT, SHE HAS CUSTODY. SO I WOULDNT LOSE MY PARENTAL RIGHTS. CPS WAS GOING FOR MY RIGHTS. SINCE THEN I WAS 90 DAYS SOBER FROM DEC THROUGH MARCH. I RELAPSED AGAIN AND I FEEL SO ASHAMED AND I KNOW IM A FIGHTER I KNOW I CAN BE BETTER MY CHILDREN ARE MY EVERYTHING. MY FAMILY CANT STAND MY FIANCE BECAUSE THEY FEEL HE IS THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING. THEY DONT WANNA UNDERSTAND THIS DISEASE AND COMPARE ME TO MY FATHER WHO WAS A ADDICT AND NOW SERVING 30 YEARS FOR 4TH DWI. HES 62 YRS OLD. IVE ALWAYS BEEN COMPARED TO HIM. I AM MY FATHERS DAUGHTER. I WISH I GREW KNOWING THEIR DIVORCE WASNT MY FAULT AND HIS MISTAKES DIDNT DEFINE ME. BUT TO THEM, MY FAMILY, I AM HIM.