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Potential Relapse? Or Harmless Pot?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by LiesAndLyrics, Jul 3, 2016.

  1. LiesAndLyrics

    LiesAndLyrics Member

    My boyfriend has a past with addiction. Lately he's been a bit off and I'm wondering if any of you are able to shed some light on the situation for me. I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place. If I'm not, could someone please move this thread to the right place? Or feel free to delete it. If I'm in the right place, if someone could take the time to read this and help me out, or help me understand, I'd appreciate it so much.

    My boyfriend is an addict. His drug of choice is opiates. He's been on methadone for 4 years, and according to him, has been clean from hard drugs for those 4 years. He did tell me that he tried to come off of methadone last year, and had a relapse that lasted for 2 months. Whenever I met him, his methadone dose was 80 MG. He's at 60 MG now and he's staying at 60 MG for a month. Whenever he relapsed last year, he was at 30 MG.

    Last week he told me that he picked up some weed. He told me that he misses coming home from work and smoking a joint. He told me that he would never smoke it before work or before going out to spend a day or evening with my family. He told me that he doesn't smoke to the point where he'll act like an idiot or pass out or not be himself. He told me that him smoking wouldn't change or alter our relationship in any way. Since he told me all of those things, he has smoked before work, he hasn't smoked before going to spend time with my family yet, but I do feel our relationship changing. He isn't affectionate with me anymore. I've seen him deleting text messages from his phone. I've tried talking to him about these things and he flat out told me that he's been smoking weed since he was 13, that it's something he enjoys doing, and that if I don't like it, to leave.

    My boyfriend and I are both 27, and we both have very different lifestyles. I grew up with a Dad who works in a jail, and and a mother who can't hold a job because all she does is drink. I never once got involved with alcohol or drugs. I've never been drunk and I've never been high. With that said, I don't know how to feel about my boyfriend smoking pot. I have some friends who smoke it, and I have some friends who don't. I've tried to explain my point of view on it to my boyfriend and all he does is become angry and defensive with me, and again, as I mentioned above, just tells me to leave if I don't like it. I've been trying to decide what I want to do. I've been observing him, giving it a shot and seeing what he's like, trying to explain to him why I have such a hard time with it. He then brought up to me that he's going to be making and smoking shatter, and again, told me that it's something he's always done and if I don't like it, to leave.

    I can't help but wonder if this is the beginning of a relapse. Whenever he was at 80 MG on his methadone, he quit smoking cigs and weed. He's now down to 60 MG on his methadone and all he does is smoke like a chimney and get high as soon as he gets home from work. Now he wants to make and smoke some shatter? Is this so he can have a stronger high? Is this dangerous for his recovery?

    The longer we've been together, the more he's told me about his past and the drugs he used and the things he did to get them. And I've learned that he was a very skilled liar and manipulator. And lately, I can't help but feel like I'm being lied to and manipulated a bit here and there. And he doesn't even seem phased that any of this bothers me.

    Can anyone shed some light?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @LiesAndLyrics... I'm pretty sure I commented on a post of yours in another thread, so keep an eye out for it.
  3. Hello, I have read your story and feel like you are in for hard times. It seems like your partner is leading you down the garden path and his drug use is taking priority. I noticed you have never used, try explaining to him that your relationship is very important to you so you can both build a future together if he is the one you want to be with. Hopefully things can work out well :)