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Procrastination Is a Problem

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by Rainman, Feb 20, 2016.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I have a friend who has for about three months now informed me of his intention to stop using alcohol but he always has some fancy excuse why he can't stop using alcohol immediately or at least wean himself off it if he can't.

    Got any tips that could help someone like him stop procrastinating, do what must be done? One shouldn't always put off 'til tomorrow what can be done today, right?
  2. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @Rainman. That's a tough call because you risk offending your friend about it. Me? I can be a smarta** about it and take the risk.

    You could question away his excuses by asking how long will it take? or would you like me to help you with something? Or just point blank say you've heard that excuse before even if you haven't. (That's me being a smarta**:rolleyes:)
    Rainman likes this.
  3. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    There are sometimes some gruesome stories or instances need to be brought to the table to your friend; I think an example is what can help save your friend from procrastination. It really is a bad habit and an addiction on its own, to put things off for later and then it becomes too late and cannot save oneself.
    Rainman likes this.
  4. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I think your friend probably has good intentions but has problem making the fateful decision, that will be life changing. Maybe having him set a quit date and no excuses accepted would help. Have him make a pros and cons list and tack it somewhere where he can see it. I think he wants to do it, it is just getting his mind right. I have been there.
    Rainman likes this.
  5. npatel2

    npatel2 Member

    In my opinion the best thing to do in this situation might just to give your friend that extra nudge and get it in their head that they need to stop now. Let them know, and be very sincere about it, that Alcohol abuse is taking a toll on their life, and many loved ones such as your self cant stand to see them throw away everything they have going for them over something such as Alcohol.
    Rainman likes this.
  6. Min

    Min Active Contributor

    If you care about your friend you'll have to confront them, and do it in a way that you know will be effective based on past experience. Do they only respond to being given the cold hard facts? Or do they respond better if you are patient and kind with them (without being passive). Only you know your relationship dynamic, but talk to them and stress that you have their best interests at heart.
  7. Momma9

    Momma9 Community Champion

    You could invite them to an open AA meeting and attend with them. Or a similar group at a church. Our church has a group that meets as a Sunday School class as well as an open AA type evening meeting.
  8. Deeishere

    Deeishere Active Contributor

    So true. I would just continue to encourage him and to let him know that it will be best to join a group like AA. I think if your friend can be around other people who had the same excuses, he will realize that he needs to get help now. It's so easy to just say, I'll do it tomorrow. I'm like that with my eating habits. I feel so much better when I make the right choice and actually do it....although it's not easy.
  9. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Maybe you can try suggesting to him to do other activities to avoid drinking again. That could make him busy and might helped him forgot about the bad habit. There might also some seminars that could help him.
  10. achexx84

    achexx84 Active Contributor

    You know how on the show Intervention the addict will always have excuses about why they can't go to treatment? It's because of a hindering fear that they will be taken out of their comfort zone. My friend is an alcoholic, bad, and says "this is how I feel functional and comfortable". He believes that people need to accept him for the way he is because that's how he feels good about himself. There's always an excuse as to why and when he will stop drinking, but it only gets pushed back further and further. Sometimes, you just have to pull the rug out from under someone for them to actually have a reality check. You can only be supportive for so long before you eventually become an enabler, which will only cause both you and your friend harm.

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's tough, but with your support and persistence, your friend will pull thru. Good luck.