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Really need some advice!!

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by WorriedWife, Jul 12, 2018.

  1. WorriedWife

    WorriedWife Member

    My husband and I are both addicts. For some time we've been on Suboxone. He recently took a job where he is out of town all week. Turns out there's quite a bit of drug activity at the motel they stay in and with his Co workers. We have been married for over 5 yrs and during this time he had lied to me so trusting him is kind of hard!! Here's my dilemma I can't stop worrying about if he has been doing drugs while he's away all week he told me if I thought that he was using he would take a drug test to prove he's not. Would it be wrong for me to actually ask him to take one.?. He told me today someone stole what money he had left and there's just times he doesn't seem like himself it's killing me inside cause I wanna believe in him and trust him but if I am being honest I just can't be sure HELP
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    He offered so breakout the drug test.You are simply happy he is so willing to be open and honest with you so allow him to pee in the cup the way he said he would because he knew it would help you feel better
    Lostboy8731, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @WorriedWife... I'm with @True concern on this one. If the possibility of your husband using is something that's wearing on you, give him a drug test. But try not to constantly worry about him. Worrying doesn't actually DO anything...except make you crazy.

    We're here to help, support, and listen to you. Feel free to lean on us anytime.
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @WorriedWife hi there! if it can put your mind at ease, then yes, i'd give the drug test... just tell him it will allow you to be at peace rather than all freaked out.... but if you want to trust him, then let go of that worry and just choose to trust and carry on with life! :)
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  5. WorriedWife

    WorriedWife Member

    Thank you guys for advice Luckily for now he's away from original group of guys that I know was using it in first place As of now I'm trying to let it go to watch his behaviors when he's home etc and if I see anything that makes me think he's using I'm going to break out the cup!! Thanks again it's been helpful reading your thoughts
  6. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Glad we could be there for you and just so you know we'll be here still if you need us again o_Oo_O:rolleyes::confused::confused::confused::D:confused: lol I like emojis
    Lostboy8731, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    You are very welcome, @WorriedWife. I like that term "break out the cup." I can just hear you saying something like, "Don't make me break out the cup!"

    Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!
    Lostboy8731 likes this.
  8. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    Sorry to hear what your going through. I must say i strongly and completely agree with the group on this one. One he offered and secondly hes broken trust between you two so yup tell him fill it up bud. He needs to regain or
    re-earn your trust back
    deanokat likes this.