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Recording myself in times of despair

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by primalclaws1974, Dec 5, 2014.

  1. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    This may seem like an odd thing to do, but I video record myself when I am depressed. I set up my Sony on a tripod and I sit in front of the camera and talk. It is usually a long ramble about how I feel, which may be a "bitch session" or complaints, or my dreary outlook on life. At times that I thought I might have a problem with alcohol (I go back and forth on this still), I would discuss that at length. Then I would save the video to my computer and watch it at a later date, so I had a fresh perspective (I didn't want to be down when watching). I can get some incites on myself in this way. I analyze myself, and it helps me to figure out my future in a new light. Has anyone done this, or does it seem strange?
    Joseph likes this.
  2. juliaintheclouds

    juliaintheclouds Active Contributor

    I don't think it's that strange. It sounds like you are keeping a diary or journal of sorts. I think it can be very useful to get your thoughts out there and reananlyze them at a later date. It can feel good to just talk. It might benefit you to go to a therapist or an AA meeting to be able to get some feedback on your thoughts.
    Joseph and primalclaws1974 like this.
  3. sammy

    sammy Active Contributor

    I haven't personally done it but I don't think it's strange. I think talking it out and hearing one's situation described out loud can really be helpful and provide a different perspective. It makes us stop and think when we voice our thoughts - even if it's just to our self - out loud. I also think looking back on the videos can provide a way to see how far you have come in making decisions and life changes.
    Joseph and primalclaws1974 like this.
  4. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I've seen some videos on YouTube of people who do this, some eventually didn't have a very successful result, iirc. However, I still think it's a good practice to adopt, but it may just not be for everyone or for some people go are slightly less stable it might just not be enough. I still think it's probably very effective for most though since voicing out your stresses is at the very least therapeutic.
    Joseph and primalclaws1974 like this.
  5. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Though i think it's a great idea, i think it would be most helpful if you included someone you trust to also review the video and get a secondary perspective.It's possible that you may have the wrong impression if you view the video by yourself so a second opinion could go a long way in putting things in a clear perspective.
    Joseph and primalclaws1974 like this.
  6. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Not at all. But it's my first to hear someone taking a video of himself depressed. Mostly, downtrodden people write their thoughts and feelings. This is what I do. Or some talk to God, I also do this. However, I can't replay my conversation with God unless I audio record it. I guess your idea is just the same as writing your thoughts and feelings. Yours is just more vivid because aside from the voice, you can see your facial expression and all. So everything is caught on cam.

    It is actually a great idea because it helps you go through your problems and sort things out. I'm sure it is also a good way to relieve yourself of your negative emotions and thoughts.
    Joseph likes this.
  7. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    That is a sage piece of advice. I intentionally wait until a later time, so I am not at the same state of mind as the recording, but I may still see it the same way without another's perspective. I am a little self-conscious about letting others see me so vulnerable, however.
    Joseph likes this.
  8. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    It does help me sometimes, but not always. When I view it at a later date I sometimes feel like a whiny loser. I wonder why I even went to the trouble of recording it. I can't imagine letting others watch it. I don't feel this way every time, however. It ends up doing more good for me than harm, so I continue doing it. I also think that after I am dead and gone, my kids can have a unique perspective of their dad.
  9. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I don't really record my physical self a la reality show. I simply record my voice through my phone's built-in recorder while I recite inspirational verses, poems or excerpts from my favorite novels. I don't have any addiction to speak of but occasionally I get depressed, thus the voice recording. Indeed, it does take some of the load off your shoulders.
    Joseph and primalclaws1974 like this.
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I have not done that but I think it is a good idea. If it works or helped you, it could also help others who will try recording themselves and analyzing their thoughts. I do not think it is a strange thing cause it was your way of expressing yourself just like writing poems or singing alone.
    Joseph and primalclaws1974 like this.
  11. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    Thank you. Yes, it is a form of therapy. I have also walked through the woods or alongside a stream, and "narrated". I feel that it helps me to speak out loud about my issues, and the shots of nature might be more interesting to someone if they actually watched it, rather than stare at my face. But I do write poetry and sing alone too. Those things also help a little.
  12. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Right. Both singing and writing poems helped me expressed myself and get over those sad/bad part or experiences I have experienced in my life. :)
  13. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    We all go through emotional turmoil and depression at times especially when things seem to be going against what we want or expect. That's human nature. What's important is we overcome it and try to make our lives a little better. For me, which ever way can help me get through my rough times, I'll go for it. But you're right, it's a bit uncomfortable to show others our thoughts and feelings especially in a video. Lol! But there's one person I know will understand me and won't cringe at seeing me at my lowest - my husband. :)
    Joseph likes this.
  14. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    In my case, I write down ideas when I am depressed. I compose narratives of my own journeys, mostly philosophical, deep ones. I also do voice recording. It helps in making memories pass.
  15. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I think it's a wonderful way to get over a stage that sometimes seems as if it will never end. I don't exactly make video recordings of myself, as I can't stand seeing myself in moments when I feel miserable. Instead, I lie down on my bed and make voice recordings. I just say whatever comes to my mind, totally uninhibited. Often, that includes swearing sessions, which feel really gratifying to me. Step by step I let go of the things that bother me, in whichever way I can...
    Joseph likes this.
  16. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    Well, I also do voice recordings, practically to make me feel better. The sounds and beats of our voice sometimes show the more sensitive areas in us that need considering of examining. I also sing, even if out-of-tune lol.
  17. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    It's pretty interesting. And also a good research material, to see who you really are when you abuse alcohol. Had I known of this earlier, I would have done this too. Fortunately, I'm not addicted anymore, so there's no need for it.
    Joseph likes this.
  18. Teresa

    Teresa Senior Contributor

    I don't think it is a strange thing to do, but I do think, just as with a journal, one should consider where the recording could one day end up. I will try to keep it short as to why I say that. My fathers mother took care of me from the time I was born, or rather from 5 months old when I was well enough to go home from the hospital until I was about five years old. I was with my mother and father for one year then at age six my mother decide to leave me and my siblings with our father but before doing so she made a recording of how if someone did not take us she would kill us. At 12 years old I had no memory of her, only things I was told about her, horrible things. In an attempt to stop me from looking for her a family member of my fathers gave me that tape recording. So I would advise doing your recording then maybe erasing them at some point.
    Joseph likes this.
  19. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    I've seen people do that. I've also seen people do audio recordings of themselves talking or writing things down. All it is is a diary. It gives you a means to express your feelings and thoughts without the worry of ridicule or rejection. It is a healthy form of therapy. It allows you to unburden yourself of whatever it is that is pulling you down. It's a good thing to do.
    Joseph likes this.
  20. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    That is really a good idea instead of a written journal. Which I use to do, I guess as long as it is recorded for future reference really doesn't matter which method is used.