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Recovery - no help - my story

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by FreeLemu, Sep 8, 2020.

  1. FreeLemu

    FreeLemu Member

    It is possible. I started very young. First with weed and alcool, then tobacco and cocain. By the age of 17 years old I had at least three severe addictions. Cocain abuse lasted 4 years, a total lost of control. I left my job and my boyfriend and bought a flight to India where I had my first withdrawal syndrome. I did it alone in a hostel and then I traveled the country for 6 month until I eventually felt better. There I started to take a lot of MDMA but never on a daily basis. It still fucked up my brain a little more but I kind of had control over the situation. From then I took cocain maybe 10 times these 10 past years without relapsing. By the time I was 24, I would already be drinking beer on a daily basis and smoked like a chimney, tobacco and pots from the early morning. I started to experience a lot of psychedelics, lsd, dmt, shrooms and salvia, thinking it would not trigger my addictive behaviors. It didn’t until I went to a huge festival (boom) where I increased doses during 10 days until reaching 2mg of lsd in one day. I eventually smoked a dmt pipe on the last day and it started a two days long psychotic crisis. Heavy one, I basically died. I eventually came back to reality but I was half destroyed, and quite shocked. Bad luck, a few days later I met a charming punky guy who had just stoped subutex (ex héroïnomane) and was compensating with anxiolytics and opium... we literally drowned together in this GABA world. Heavy doses of medication, opium ingested nearly everyday and amphetamines to survive (we were working in the fields). And of course lots of beers and pots. This lasted nearly a year until I touched rock bottom, left the guy and rented a cabane in an isolated mountain. Worst moments of my life. I quit everything cold turkey and really thought I would die. When I say everything that means: opium, anxiolytics, amphétamines, alcool, tobacco, weed and coffee. 6 month of total reconstruction from scratch. I eventually started to smoke and drink again in order to survive but never ever have I touched opium, anxiolytics or amphétamines again. I felt like a newborn, no identity, no confidence, nothing. I decided to take my **** together and went to university. I rocked it with excellent grades in a useless but passionating field, literature. Of course I kept on drinking a few liters of beer each day, smoked a pack of cigarettes and a lot of pots. I finished my bachelor when I was 28, from then I tried to stop drinking and smoking countless times but never succeed. I really thought I was doomed and I was still too proud to go get some help. The thing is that I became an expert on withdrawal syndrome, how to cope and the science of neuro chemicals. I stoped tobacco, alcool and weed three weeks ago, cold turkey, it was the right time. I was ready, it will work. I feel good, it’s not easy, nicotine and alcool always were the worst. I know it’s not the end of my journey, I will have to be very careful not to relapse but I feel I’m finally arriving where I want to stay. I’m 30 and I’m Sober. Hopefully forever. It is possible. Love
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2020
  2. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Wow what a journey for someone so young , I truly hope you can succeed in your sobriety..
    True concern likes this.
  3. FreeLemu

    FreeLemu Member

    Thanks Davers,
    Thank you very much. I won’t lie, I came here because I need support and congratulations in order to produce a little bit of dopamine, we all need it! Take care, I really hope you’re doing good on you journey through addiction. Peace
  4. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Extremely powerful,brave,and courageous.I pray the strength you had in that isolated cabin only grows stronger as time goes on and if and when that strength grows you will see how truly capable you are of overcoming and conquering absolutely anything and everything.
    Stay Strong and God bless You
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Message @Will_ His feeling's are hurt because i told him i could crush the site!Nah Fuc* That build it UP I'llFind you ALL