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Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by Stevejm, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. Stevejm

    Stevejm Member

    First of all id like to say hi. I just joined here after seeing some posts when googling my situation.

    I used to be pretty big jnto drugs/booze/marijuana. I was in a relationship with my SO. We actually met in rehab. She been sober 8 months now but weve been dating for years.

    Anyways im having trouble quitting weed. I can stop for around 3 weeks then relapse with a joint.

    I tell her, because thats what we are supposed to do.

    Except this time she is saying I need to grow up/getting upset (understandably) and saying she doesnt want to see me anymore.

    Obviously shes been jn my life for a long time and, while im not going to go out and use again (im getting better at that) im just...

    Pretty bummed out and sad right now. Im hoping its just her immediate response, and i guess im just reaching out here and hoping someone can help me out.
  2. lonewolves

    lonewolves Community Champion

    Welcome to the forum, @Stevejm!
    I can understand her frustration but not wanting to see you seems a little bit extreme, but I don’t know the full situation so I’m no judge. Congratulations for being able to even go the 3 weeks without smoking. I was able to switch to vaping dry bud for a couple of months, but even then I caved and went back to smoking weed in my pipe. I’m almost 28 and have been smoking since I was 16; daily since 19. I often wish I could quit. Personally I think because you are both addicts that she is afraid that she might mess up, and it’s scary for her when you mess up because that might cause her to do the same. I think if she is able to continue her sobriety then eventually she will be more understanding when you slip. If you have any questions or need to get out any stuff, this is a great place for it!
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Stevejm hello there! thanks for reaching out. i agree that it's great you can go 3 weeks.... if you're wanting to get past that hurdle, consider seeing an addiction specialist or counselor. might prove to be quite valuable for getting past that hurdle!!! i am a firm believer that we can benefit from therapy at different seasons in our life.... :)

    let your gf know you really are trying... i'm sure she knows, and she may be afraid of what the future holds if she wants a drug free life. if it's a deal breaker for her, that's her prerogative and you'd have to decide from there. but i think you'll be able to overcome this...if not on your own, then with some help!!!

    glad you're googling how to overcome this! and, you've been to rehab, so you've got some foundation to stand on. keep trying!!
    True concern, deanokat and lonewolves like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Stevejm... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing. I'm glad you found us and decided to post. I also understand how frustrated you must be because of your situation. But I think @lonewolves and @Dominica have given you some excellent advice/insight. I do believe that your partner is probably worried about her own sobriety, and that that's what's causing her to behave the way she is. My best advice: Give her some space if she needs it. And try your best to stay off the weed. It's terrific that you can go for 3 weeks without it. Maybe try to stretch that time out a bit. I bet you'll be able to go longer if you really set your mind to it.

    We're here to offer you up support, help, encouragement, and hope. You an always come here just to vent if you need to, too.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  5. Stevejm

    Stevejm Member

    Thank you @lonewolves @Dominica @deanokat for your responses. I appreciate the replies.

    I have been trying for a while for sobriety but i am not there yet. While i have managed to be drug free from hard drugs and drinking for a bit (i simply do not like the way they make me feel anymore now that i have a leg to stand on) i feel as though i must treat marijuana in the same way.

    I am going to try and complete a 12 step program as my relapse was from me finding a joint and even though i knew i should not smoke it i did anyway, which to me is powerlessness - and a beginning to trying 12step programs once more.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    That sounds like a great plan, @Stevejm. Remember: We're always here for you, so don't hesitate to lean on us anytime you'd like. :)
    True concern, lonewolves and Dominica like this.
  7. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Stevejm hey there! our pleasure to be here for you!! glad you've got a plan in mind. feel free to share with us how things are going anytime you want.

    we are here! and we believe in you!
    True concern, deanokat and lonewolves like this.
  8. Stevejm

    Stevejm Member

    @deanokat @lonewolves thank you for your support. I have been talking with my SO and she is just worried i will relapse again so is being cautious. I understand that.

    I am at home tonight and at times like this can be triggering. I am trying to figure out why. I experience guilt and regret when i smoke lately, so it is not something that i classify as fun anymore.

    I am trying to fill my head with the serenity prayer instead of allowing myself the mental weakness of saying "one smoke wont be bad".

    Its difficult, often most before the actual moment has passed. I was just offered to smoke and i declined it. This increases my will but i know is also a dangerous situation. Normally i am not around drugs too much but my roommates gf is hosting a wake at my condo and its on its second day...
    lonewolves likes this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Be strong, @Stevejm. I know you can do it. And this, too, will pass.
  10. Stevejm

    Stevejm Member

    Yes thank you @deanokat it has passed for today. I am going to sleep, this makes me very tired. But it did help that i did not have to come on here and tell myself and the forum that i failed. So thank you. It is nice to have an outlet. It is appreciated.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Stevejm hey there! so glad you were able to resist that temptation! i find the serenity prayer does do wonders at times, and prayer in general for me.

    i hope today goes better for you. have you pinned down a 12 step meeting to attend?
    deanokat likes this.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    How are you doing today, @Stevejm? Check in with us if you get a chance. We're here and we care.