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Relationships and Addiction

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by gracer, Feb 16, 2016.

  1. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    When a person gets addicted, he/she not only destroys him/herself but all the other aspects of his/her life. Addiction affects family members and loved ones a great deal and the pain they feel looking at their loved one destroy his/her life is incomparable.

    I have seen many families being shattered because of drugs and substances. The pain increases with time and as it goes unresolved, the distance and misunderstanding also becomes bigger.

    Do not let addiction ruin the most important thing that you could ever have, people who genuinely care for and love you.
    Rainman and MrsJones like this.
  2. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    This is true. When you are standing on the sidelines watching relationships spiraling downward it is a sad thing to see. Even when you are going through a similar situation.
    gracer likes this.
  3. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    Sadly, more and more families are shattered by drug abuse. My husband's cousin continually uses drugs. This has caused a rift between her and her husband. One time, he hit her because of all the lies and manipulations she has done to them. The husband is still very much in love with her. You would think that this violence would have caused her to stop using, but no. A month after the husband left for abroad to work, she left the house and brought with her all the gadgets bought by the husband. We think it's to fund her addictions.

    You see, drugs do nothing good especially for families. The children of this couple even witnessed the violence that had happened. Their gadgets have been taken, stuff that their father worked hard for for two years abroad. And this woman, doesn't even take importance in these things. She still uses drugs as much as she can and leaves her children alone to fulfil her cravings.
  4. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I feel for the husband especially the children. She is very lucky to have a patient husband but it's obvious that she doesn't see how lucky she is. I hope she would be able to realize how fortunate she is to have a family before everything would be too late.
  5. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    All I can do now for the people who stuck with me and kept supporting me is by making it up to them now. By not going back and to help as much as I can. I have a debt to my loved ones that I don't think I can ever repay but I sure will try. They helped me get back a better life for my family and myself. They keep me strong and always help me when I feel over burden. I realixe now that they have always had my back no matter how I bad got or nasty I was to them. I am forever grateful.
    gracer and MrsJones like this.
  6. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @akiram13. It sounds like you have been forgiven by loved ones. That's a blessing.
    gracer likes this.
  7. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    True, addiction is a surefire way to drive your loved ones away from you because you are harming yourself and you are spiraling downwards into the pit of addiction with no way out if you don't intend to change. So the moral of the story is to not even try to take drugs, because all it takes is one taste to get hooked and it will ruin your life.
    gracer likes this.
  8. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    There'll be no peace in a home where anyone uses drugs. There'll be petty disputes and a lot of other unpleasant stuff that will make those who would have helped the addicts in the family, leave so they can live in peace elsewhere. That's how drugs tore my family apart. I think if drugs haven't done that to you already, you should fight the addiction before it's too late because should drugs create a rift in a family healing it could take a really long time.
    MrsJones and gracer like this.
  9. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    It will be impossible to take care of your family and yet you are an addict. Many addicts have been known to be violent against their spouses making it hard for them to stay together. That can lead to families breaking and children suffering.
    gracer likes this.
  10. JadeVengeance

    JadeVengeance Active Contributor

    All throughout my life for some reason both my parents have been on drugs. I think they do it because it takes them away from reality and thanks to them, me and my brother are separated into different places. It has affected me emotionally as well as affecting my brother too but I don't show it unlike him. I have been the shy, find it hard to trust people kind of person but my brother is completely different, always getting into trouble etcetera and the thing is, he is only 14.
  11. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    One thing we fail to realize is, addiction is like a leech. It has a way of sticking to its victim, controlling the mind and actions and giving him no sense of reason. I feel very sorry for people suffering from one form of addiction or the other; and what many fail to realize is that only love, concern and attention and help an addict.

    Pushing addicts away from your life will not help them, rather, attending their recovery meetings and communities to show them you support is always of great help. Addiction chooses anyone. no one really wants to be under the bondage of addiction.
    gracer likes this.
  12. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    Addiction certainly destroys relationship. I have an uncle who has alcohol addiction. He has a strained relationship with his children and wife. I have also hard many horror stories of addicts being thrown out of house because they were unwilling to quit.
    gracer likes this.
  13. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I'm truly sorry for what you and your brother had to go through with regards to your parents' addiction. It's really sad to know that your brother wasn't able to cope the way you are doing which in turn brought out something negative out of him. He's still very young though and he still has a promising future ahead of him that's why he needs you by his side right now. I think no matter how much distance your relationship has undergone, now is the time that he needs the guidance of a loved one the most. Be there for him and pull him out from the path he's in right now. I hope you guys could finally resolve your differences in time. :)
  14. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    I think that addiction is something that goes above the relationship and can destroy it, so it need to be firm when separating the situation, meaning, the addicted person is changed and has no capacity to show love I think.
  15. JadeVengeance

    JadeVengeance Active Contributor

    Does anyone think it is common for children of drug addicts to become addicts themselves?
  16. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    They never shunned me away. Yes they were mad at times mostly worried. My issues back then was nothing they could reach because I wouldn't let them in. I was fighting a battle with myself. But they kept strong and always let know they were there. Sometimes they had tough love but they did what was necessary to help. :) I am blessed
    gracer likes this.
  17. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Though love many times is exactly what one needs because best friends and people who love us want the best for us even if many times we don't see it that way.
    gracer likes this.
  18. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Yes, I do think that it is a common thing for children of addicted parents to become addicted themselves. Exposure to addiction can influence a child to do the same when he/she grows up. This is why it's very important for these children to be guided accordingly by other family members or concerned groups that could provide them with proper advice and guidance regarding addiction.
  19. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Addiction can ruin every part of a person's life, from their career, money, home, and that also includes their relationship with other people.

    At the time though, when your addicted you don't see that and you're only concern is feeding that addiction you've got, that why it's so dangerous in the first place, because it blinds you.
    gracer likes this.
  20. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    Sad to say, most of the time, it's the people around the addict who is more affected by his actions and choices. Like what @pwarbi said, our addictions can blind us. When we are doing drugs or drinking alcohol, we are sometimes so caught up in ourselves that we do not notice the people around us, what's happening, and how we are affecting them.
    gracer and pwarbi like this.