I struggled for years between two addicts. One refused help, and the other preached about recovery but was not really involved with doing it. It was more like a badge of honor he wore, "I'm in the program". For years he was in and out of rehabs, and nothing worked. I went to a therapist to deal with it, and I was told "Work on yourself. If you improve you, then he will see that, and he will want to be like you and straighten up. You need to become a better person, and you will be able to fix him." I was outraged. This was his problem, not mine. No matter what I did, he was too drunk to see what I was doing. It was not my job to fix him, it was his job. The only good piece of advice this woman gave me was the "work on yourself". This is what I hope you all do. Remain your own person. Do not let their problem become your major reason for living. An addict's problem can consume us. If you spend years, like I did, being constantly concerned about them, you wil miss out on your own life. I feel as though I lost 7 years of my life trying to help someone who did not want help. Help the addict who wants it, if the addict does not want help, then let them know you are there. But keep your distance for self preservation.