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Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by LostmySis, Oct 24, 2014.

  1. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    Very good advice indeed (the part you embraced at least, not the whole part where it suddenly becomes all your responsibility). So many get so desperately lost in trying to help or even "fix" others who aren't committed to getting help that they lose their identity altogether. It's terrible to watch.
  2. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    I totally agree that yourself should have the priority. It's also similar to what I've learned in my first aid courses, that you should always guarantee your own safety first before you perform any actions. It applies to this case as well. There's also the fact that if you don't take care of yourself, then you probably won't be in fit shape to help anyone else. There are some very nice people like you in this world that like helping others, but of course there is a limit to how much you can do.
  3. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Oh I would definitely get burnt out if I were in your place. So I will definitely take that therapist's advice. I'll not take it as whether I can be seen as a good role model or not to be followed. I'll take her advice as a way to really take care of myself and improve.

    You're right. If an addict does not need to be helped, no amount of help will suffice and change him for the better. In fact, this is true to all of us. If we're not opened to being helped, we can't be helped. If we don't see the need to change, we can't change. It's all about us. Our decision, determination and will power help us more than others' willingness to help.

    Take care LostmySis!
  4. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    I agree with you, there is a saying in my native land that you can take a cow to the river but you cannot force it to drink the water. We all have a life to live; therefore it is necessary to put ourselves first before we can be there for someone else. I made the same mistake of being there for someone who turned their back on me as soon as their life was straightened out. Be good to yourself.
  5. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I agree that there's a limit as to where you can extend your helping hand to someone addicted to drugs. You will spend your time and resources trying to help out someone but if his mind isn't decided on what he want's then it's your loss. The ultimate decision maker is the one affected and if change is not in the offing,then we're relegated to bystanders.