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Rock Bottom?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Rainman, Dec 17, 2015.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    The reason most people don't try to help their loved ones is because they want them to hit "rock bottom" first. While yes there's a high likelihood that once someone has hit rock bottom they'll be more willing to fight their addictions fact is fighting the addiction might be for them, only a temporal measure to help them solve their other problems.

    For example if someone loses a job and they decide to stop using drugs, should they get another job, they could go right back to using drugs. All that time you spent waiting would have been wasted.

    I've seen it happen more than once. This is why you never should wait for someone to hit rock bottom before you intervene.

    Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
    - William B. Sprague
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Here's a great article from The Boston Globe about "The End of Hitting Rock Bottom." The book referenced in the article is truly an exceptional book and I highly recommend it.

    The End of Hitting Rock Bottom

    Rainman and MyDigitalpoint like this.
  3. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Yes! Many times family or friends wait until someone hits rock bottom before actually doing something for an individual who has fallen into an addiction.

    However the flip side of the coin is when they want to intervene before such thing happens and the person is not only in denial, but in the inner conviction that they "have to" in order to validate all what he or she was already told, warned or advised.

    And not just with addiction; this is may go in the way parents advise their children don't step a slipping floor to avoid falling, and yet they walk across just to learn their parents were right once they hit the floor.

    So sad, but sometimes things goes in the wrong way even when people would do whatever to avoid a loved one hit rock bottom.
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  4. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    There are lessons to learn in both cases for all parties substance abuse affects. At the time the decision seems the best for them but the hope for the best outcome is the same.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I have been trying to save him before hits rock bottom again. He finally has a good job after many, many years and if he keeps up the way he is he is going to lose it. I have supported him. I have done everything I could possible to. I have nagged, I have yelled, I have contacted places to get him help but he doesn't want to go. He wants to live the messed up life that he is living. Living with an addict is draining. They drag you down to their level so that you finally lose that will to fight anymore. I will hit rock bottom long before he ever does cause he just doesn't care about anything or anybody but himself and his drugs and his booze.
  6. HalfBeard

    HalfBeard Active Contributor

    Well, sometimes the only time a person realizes they have a problem is when their complacency ends and they hit rock bottom. Problem is, that can take extremely long
    to happen (or in some cases, the self actualization never comes).
  7. CasinoBill

    CasinoBill Member

    I absolutely agree !!
  8. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @L_B... Have you read the book Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change?
  9. CasinoBill

    CasinoBill Member

    To clarify... (sorry, I'm new to this forum and am learning to "navigate" my way around), the whole point regarding intervention is to PREVENT a friend or loved one from hitting "rock bottom" in the first place.

    That said, I believe there is precious little one can do until that individual first makes their own personal commitment to break free of the addiction gripping them. Until that "epiphany" occurs within the individual's mind and soul, there is nothing anyone else can do to substantively affect the situation, no matter how "well intended" it is delivered or how "agreeably" it seems to be received by the addict.

    Typically there are two components to an addiction; the "physical" dependency on the chemical ingredients of the drug, and the "psychological" dependency, which is often much more insidious, as it differs with the personalities of every individual.

    Breaking free of the physical addiction involves a "withdrawal" process with similar symptoms for all who quit that drug. Though hydro withdrawal is no "walk in the park", the discomfort is surprisingly bearable, and subsides over time.

    The "psychological" addiction? Much, much trickier.

    Please try to keep in mind, when you relate to the addicted friend or loved one, that the addict is suffering with some sort of pain. Pain of the body, Pain of the mind, Pain of the soul. Perhaps the pain of looking in the mirror and not liking the look in the eye of that stranger staring back at them. Opiates take the edge off that pain. For awhile.

    There is an interesting psychological theory as to why people hurt themselves, whether through through drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or suicide. The theory states that, contrary to the notion that the person wants to harm/kill "themself", that really what they seek to do is destroy "the way they have become". They don't hate themselves, they hate "the person in the mirror", an ugly manifestation of what is, deep inside, a much better, more beautiful human being.

    Seen in that light, self-destruction is not an act of self-hatred. Deep inside, it is truly a cry of self-love.

    Keep this in mind, and help your friend or loved one to find, and to acknowledge that beautiful person inside. That beauty is in there, I promise you. It's inside us all.

    Good Luck, Best Wishes, and One Love to One and All,

    Casino Bill

    [NOTE: Even after all physical cravings disappear (1-2 weeks), IT TAKES A NUMBER OF MONTHS TO FULLY DETOX the opiate from the system. The recovering addict MUST BE MADE TO UNDERSTAND that he/she still has not fully "conquered" the drug, even though the cravings have gone away. ONE SINGLE PILL will undo all of the detoxing, the addiction will resume, and all of the effort and discomfort endured will be for naught.]
    Rainman and deanokat like this.
  10. HalfBeard

    HalfBeard Active Contributor

    Very well put. Many uninformed fail to acknowledge how difficult the psychological addiction is, just saying "toughen up and power through the physical withdrawals."
  11. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    The quote is good. Rock bottom, well, some people seem to learn only when they get there. What's the other saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.
    Probably some people don't know what to say. Sometimes you don't say anything until there is a problem or it affects you in some way.
    Finding the source or cause of why they are doing it. What would I want to hear if I was in their shoes?