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Searching for something to believe in

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by True concern, Dec 2, 2018.

  1. You couldn’t be more spiritually connected to me Josh, thank you and thank Rebekah, what book do I need to start reading? I am already reading some religious books on addiction but I can always add to my knowledge base. I am reading Joseph Princes’s books on healing through prayer and communion and Iyanla vanzant because I truly believe I have a lot of work to do to heal whatever it is that is causing my addiction and Lisa Nichols to heal all areas of my life. Hug Rebekah tight next time you see her, man you just don’t realize how it will affect/effect you to lose a sibling, never thought it would cut this deep but it’s almost like you lose a life boat, someone you thought you would always have no matter what, to grow old with. I wish I could write more tonight but my daughter is climbing into the bath tub so I gotta go chase after her, thank you so much to all of you, having people to talk to honestly about this means so much.
    deanokat, Dominica and Joshstillclean like this.
  2. Thanks you my pain doctor actually wants me to as well but I am scared to Dean, every time recently, the last few years when I reach out to doctors, all they want to talk about is my pain meds, subs; I don’t feel like I can honestly talk to them. I fear they will take away the only relief I have and if they did, God help me, I went off subs once, it damn near killed me, took 31 days to feel okay again and I tapered to the point of 1/8th strip very three days. I am only on a small dose, 8/2, I can have up to 1 & 1/2 strip per day.good days I can have a half and be fine, bad days I need every but if that and more. Suboxone is wonderful for short term use but I often wonder if it’s worth the long term problems. I often think about spending the money to go see a doctor in Europe for an ibocaine drip or an Auyuausca flush to get rid of this demon crawling through my body. I am just frustrated. Thanks for listening
  3. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    I will have a list of stuff I've read over the last year that's been useful to me. I've been keeping a journal of what I've read. Honestly I borrowed almost everything from Rebekah as she started down the road to recovery before I did.
    I don't know what I would do if I lost her. I cannot understand what kind of pain you must be feeling nor will I pretend to. I know last time I got out of rehab when she saw me she cried and was second to my son to reach me for a hug and she told me I'm glad to finally have you back. She knew when I had finally made up my mind to be sober. I do believe we are connected on a spiritual level somehow. A sibling thing, that only siblings can get. I believe humans are very spiritual beings. I also need to reply to a few people but I will post more tomorrow so keep an eye out i wont forget about you.
    LookingForTheLight and deanokat like this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @LookingForTheLight sounds like you are reading from some excellent authors!! love them all that you mentioned!

    keep doing what you know to do and know that we are here anytime to listen!
    LookingForTheLight and deanokat like this.
  5. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    So what you mentioned already was in the top five on,my list. Some pertained only to opiates so I didn't include them.
    Firstboff I should say my number one recommendation is The Bible.
    Dopesick:Dealers Doctors and the Drug company that addicted America-

    Drop the Rock-
    Codependent no More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself.
    That one didnt really have much for me...or so I thought. That's not my issue but there was a lot of insight into this book.
    And dean recomended,one,the other day and I actually just finished it. I wanted to finish it before hi made this list for you. After the Bible this is the number one book I would recommend to an addict who is struggling to understand where their addiction came from... Here's a link for a free off download. Its 473 pages. But don't skip a word for real. Everubit of it is pure truth and insight. I rooted for people to make it, I was mad at some who gave up, I cried where I felt like I wanted to cry. (This is not a work of fiction either).
    I do not recommend this book for someone who isn't a reader as it is very wordy and if you aren't inclined to sit down and spend a lot of time engrossed in one heavy subject then,this isn't for you. This is for thebaddict who is wanting more than to just get away from addiction, but to also truly understand the aspects behind what pit you there. It has helped me see that I have been snowballing since childhood and didn't even realize it. But after reading it I feel more equipped to stove off future triggers. Not just for chemical addiction either.
    I see that I shown a major tendency toward sex addiction, there's a possibility I might actually be a sex addict and I might post on that later but I Deffinatley felt,shame at some of my behaviour after reading this. And for certain will be changing some of my behaviors toward women.
    I would recommend all of,these anyway and me bet not in this order for you and mabey mix them up some. Whatever works for you.
    Ypubsaid that you just wanted to know where this woman,came,from. Well I thought that since I've been sober of course I would have more testosterone and so I didn't give much thought to increased sexual desire. My bears has even started growing faster. So given that I have never hurt a woman nor would I and I have never coerced or taken advantage of any woman, oh realized after this read that this is just my addiction exhibiting itself in,another "rush like"way. Heck, I've even described a high as a life orgasm before...
    I'm off track I know but just letting you know that this book really made an impact on me. And oh will continue to study so I don't loose one addiction just to gain another. Here's the link to the download. Sorry for the rant.
    Dominica likes this.
  6. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

  7. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    I'm downloading the Google voice to text app for my Bluetooth again so I don't have so many typos. My hands don't keeps up with my thoughts. Sorry y'all. Ill download that now and stop it with all the typos. Its even embarrassing.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  8. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Joshstillclean no worries about typos. :) i'm super glad you loved that book. the stories are powerful. dr. gabor stresses that every one of the men and women who struggled with addiction he worked with had suffered some sort of trauma, abuse, or neglect as children or somewhere in their lives. some were not aware of it (happened before they could talk or remember)... what a wonderful, kind, and compassionate man for sure... and well-educated in the field.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Joshstillclean... Thanks for the link. And don't worry about typos. This is NOT an English class. We're just here to help people who are struggling. Typos should be the least of our concerns! :p

    Glad you liked the Gabor Mate book. Look for interviews with him on YouTube. He's full of knowledge, for sure.
  10. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Already found him in a TEDx talk. Its hard to go wrong with a ted talk.
    So this was a good one.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    i cant help but wish i still had control of my blog but it was taken over by people with "Superman Tech Skills"as they dispise me however i wrote i piece in my blog called "The light in the darkness"i miss that particular writing of mine it was one i typed with only my heart im not even sure i mtouched a keyboard......Alas i have more enemies than the IRS
  12. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    :(