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Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by Winterybella, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Many years ago, I told a friend, I heard her son was getting very involved with weed. She thanked me but assured me it was impossible as she was always searching through his things and had not once come up with anything. He was in his early teens at the time. I remember well that she joked and told me if I told her he had a problem with girls, she would understand, but never drugs.

    In the end the rumours where true and he's still very much into weed and I don't know what else. Obviously the searching did not reveal anything at the time. Is searching an effective means of finding out what's going on with our children. Is this something that you would encourage or discourage?
  2. btalivny

    btalivny Active Contributor

    I would encourage YOU to fully understand the scientific risks of cannabis. Read scientific studies that have been peer reviewed post 2010. Then you can analyze whether cannabis is really as bad as you may assume.

    To answer your question however, the only other way to know for sure if the individual is taking cannabis is through a urine test. There is no other viable way (so far) that can tell you for sure. They are making a "breathalyzer" style object but it has not come out for consumer use.
  3. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Perhaps I neglected to mention this FACT. Marijuana is illegal in the country where I live. I have seen many in trouble with the law on account of marijuana possession Btalivny. The point of my post was to speak to the question of searching as a method to detect what might be going on with a child, not to fully understand the scientific risks of cannibis. People where I live risk doing time for illegal possession of marijuana and it's for that reason that I spoke to my friend. I'd do it all over again and it has absolutely nothing to do with what YOU assume my personal feelings to be about cannabis.
  4. rapido

    rapido Member

    While searching my succeed in busting the culprit, it can have very undesired effects as the kid will get highly secretive and seek to hit back by using substances right under your nose just to prove a point. One of the most basic tell-tale signs when a person starts using drugs is a change in behavior. An outgoing kid might suddenly become secretive and have friends you never get to meet.Their academic performance might go down without any explanations and he/she can start running into trouble with authorities including at school.
    Winterybella likes this.
  5. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Parents fail to notice that their children are using drugs because they don't spend enough time with them . Everyone is so busy these days . . .

    If parents knew their children as well as they should, they'd notice any changes that would give them [the parents] sound reasons to be concerned enough to find out if their kids are using drugs. The earlier the intervention the less difficult it would be to help the child quit before they are addicted to whatever drug it is they are using.

    As for rumors . . . parents ought to know that denial doesn't help the child. Assume the worst. Do all you can to find the evidence or even confront the child and try to extract the information from him/her.
    Winterybella likes this.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Searching on things might not be that effective if knowing whether there is illegal substances being used by the child. I agree that spending more time with them could give more clues to the parents what their kids up to. Observing behavior and also knowing friends and where they are going will give more facts too.
    Winterybella likes this.
  7. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I would not encourage that. That would be the wrong approach as it would create distrust between the child and the parent. The best thing would be to be candid and honest with each other so that the child opens up.
    Winterybella likes this.
  8. SLTE

    SLTE Community Champion

    I agree with the forming consensus that searching is not that effective an approach. It does not engender trust between a parent and a child. From the teen's perspective it probably feels like living in a prison and having your cell overturned for contraband. It's especially bad if there are no drugs to be found. Engender honesty instead.

    Searching is also somewhat ineffective since many teens are more clever than I think even proud parents imagine. I didn't hide drugs when I was young because I didn't do any, but I can think of plenty of places in my house where I could have stowed them away that they never would've been found.
    Winterybella likes this.
  9. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I would never encourage searching through someone's things, no matter how close they may be to you. After all, it's his personal stuff and everyone deserves some privacy. Why rummage through others' objects when you can openly talk with them about it, of course, without accusing them of anything? In my opinion, this makes you more like a friend of your child, as opposed to the other which makes you seem like their enemy.
    Winterybella likes this.
  10. btalivny

    btalivny Active Contributor

    Searching will never do any good. It is a qualitative approach. You must approach the "issue" in a quantitative way. This thread was based on the question "how to successfully find whether or not someone has been under the consumption of cannabis." The only way to do this successfully is to use tools such as urine tests which are more or less very accurate. Searching and finding it the manual way can be detrimental to the individual who gets caught. They may attempt to hide the substance in even more clever ways.
  11. henry

    henry Community Champion

    Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. Some kids are very clever when it comes to hiding things. It's a lot easier to watch out for the symptoms instead of searching for the actual physical evidence. Things to watch out for are hunger, laziness, laughter, red eyes, thirst, distraction, coherent speech, sleepiness, and so on. Hope that helps.
    Winterybella likes this.
  12. Zimbitt

    Zimbitt Senior Contributor

    Yeah parents are dumb on purpose to these things, they don't want to face it so they just ignore it and pretend their angel is perfect, sadly it leads to situations like these where it leads to larger problems.
  13. bsthebenster

    bsthebenster Community Champion

    The problem with looking through your child's things is that it can cause distrust between child to parent. I would suggest working on creating a more open communication. Help your child feel comfortable telling you about they're lives. Let them know you'll love them no matter what they tell you. Teenagers are going to make some questionable choices, you need to be as available for guidance as possible.
  14. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    I'm surprised that the mother had to find an actual evidence to notice that her son is using drugs...I mean my mother would notice instantly. the poor parenting might be one of the reasons their son started using weed as it is in most cases.
  15. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Is it really poor parenting? I think sometimes parents have the best of intentions and do what they know to be the best for their children. Often their best isn't enough for keeping children away from the various substances out there. Sometimes you never know what takes children in a particular direction but from where I stood I considered my girlfriend to be a well intentioned, hard working mother who cared quite well for her kids. Sometimes we miss things for whatever reason, but not always because we are so poor at what we do. Still the matter of poor parenting is a real problem for those happen to fall in that category.
  16. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I think as a parent, you need to get involved with your child, and if they are unwilling to admit to any weed use, have them tested. If they are negative and you still have your suspicions you should check through their belongings. I think you need to get between your child and drugs anyway you can. I mean if talking to them doesn't work, what else are you going to do? I went through all of this with my son. At one point we even found a bong in his room..It was Hell, but today he is doing well...and if we had never confronted the drug issue...I don't know what would have happened.
  17. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Invading your teens privacy is a huge mistake. You loose their trust. If they suspect or know you do this when they get a big fat bag of pot. You'll never find it. They will hide as much as they can from you including their life.
    I've seen parents with much better relationships with their teens who don't do such disrespectful things. Just because you're their parents is not a license to disrespect them. This is the very environment that creates rebellion.
    Kindness, compassion, and understanding. Educate them, teach them, love them, show them. Talk to them before it goes this far. Its not acceptable in the real world so what would make anyone think that this is something to do to your own child? You are not teaching them anything good with this kind of behavior. Complete lack of communication there. This is like you want to catch them doing something wrong or having something they shouldn't. A set up. You bail out of the real conversation and CREATE the environment for disaster.
    Step up and do the right thing as the parent. If its already happening, I guess you'll need to sort that out. Open the conversation.