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Seen this and thought it was worth sharing...

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by L_B, Oct 16, 2015.

  1. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    Great post!
    It's a shame that in our society it's easy to be judgmental toward addicts and addictions in general, one of the things that our society needs is empathy for other people, this world would be a completely different and nicer place to live.
    deanokat likes this.
  2. mmegs00

    mmegs00 Member

    This is such a powerful message. Thanks for sharing it. I agree fully. It is so important to be
    compassionate and try to understand from someone else's point of view. When we encounter new people
    we never know what challenges they may be facing in their own lives, or how hard they are working to get better.
    It is necessary to be understanding of each other. Great share!
    deanokat likes this.
  3. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Yeah I like it too. Its sympathetic and Empathetic. Putting one's self into an addict's shoe so as not to be judgmental.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Hatred in itself is not a good thing. If you have ever observed your self, you would recognize that it takes energy to exert emotion. So it takes energy to exert hatred. Therefore hatred is a waste of one's energy. When one is forgiving, then one's mind and emotions are free and relaxed. You are not correct to say that we should hate the person. I understand avoiding the person. I understand abandoning the person. But I don't understand hating the person. Hatred can therefore be your addiction that you need recovery from.
    L_B likes this.
  5. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    We can be sane and in our right mind, yet an addiction is out of our control and more than what we can handle. Intelligent people don't always make intelligent decisions. That's why we call it an addiction, because the emotion becomes so overwhelming that it overtakes us. Don't hate me for it.
    L_B likes this.
  6. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    "Don't hate the person, hate the behaviour" is how my mom always taught me. She'd tell me she always loved me, but that did not mean she loved or approved of what I did. It always helped -- because you know you are loved no matter what, but that you need to kick your own butt and do things better.
    deanokat and L_B like this.
  7. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    This brings back a lot of emotions. It's so true though. They are struggling, and it can be so incredibly easy to get angry with them for being so selfish. But they're broken and need help.
  8. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    @LinB, Sorry if I offended you, but I was thinking about the people that I am hostile with when I wrote that, they are my enemies, so that's why I wrote that I'm inclined to hate the person along with the behavior since they are sane but they still do harm to other people. I would be more lenient to addicts in such circumstances.
  9. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    Oh my goodness those are hard rules to follow! I hate the disease, I hate the actions of the addict when using, I do not hate the person but I sure as heck hate the behavior of that person. Yes it is hard to watch and live through on either end of the spectrum.

    When dealing with an addict and as a parent we struggle and try, we bail out, give shelter and food. We try our best to help them out of the addiction only to be slapped in the face and forced to watch them fail time and time again. There is no way on earth that I will ever hate my daughter or the person she is; yet I do hate the disease, addict in her, lack of consideration and the behavior of the addict when she is high.

    Yes it is hard to watch and deal with it indeed; no I do not want imagine living it. Nobody just “falls for addiction” it is a disease that can capture the mind and soul making everything else in life obsolete.

    In my opinion there is not a person out there that was offered drugs and “knew” if I do this I will end up an addict, no job, no money, alone, homeless, on death row or a dead or a gurney blah, blah on and on.

    Very few folks would choose to get cancer or be an addict; both are a disease. For some chemotherapy will help diminish, with addiction it is so much different there is no chemo, radiation or therapy that can cure them; the disease is not curable and is just not in the control of some folks.

    With all due respect Nergaahl something you can look at as a “silly decision”, to many was NEVER a decision at all. Good, bad or indifferent no one has any clue that they will end up “like this”…
    deanokat likes this.
  10. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Very true words indeed and I think a lot of people tend to forget that addiction is a disease that changes people.

    Given the chance again, would an addict become an addict? Course they wouldn't. Would they want to turn out like they have, course they wouldn't. It's not a choice, the choice came many years before addiction took over.
    greybird29 likes this.
  11. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Wow lots of comments on the post. I have no idea it would generate such a great conversation and so many different opinions. I can see where everybody is coming from and how they feel the way they do. Each situation is unique but in mine situation, I can't hate him. I know him and I know the past he had. I know the abuse he endured and the battles he has fought and I know that there is a good person in there. I have seen that side of him. He has a good heart. I will never hate him and I will never give up on him because I know he can overcome this just like he has overcome so many other terrible things in his past.
    greybird29 and deanokat like this.
  12. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    @serenity : wow, it's been such a long time since I've heard people talk about personal relationship in the term of 'enemies'. Probably since grade school. What does that imply for you, exactly?
  13. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    @bluedressed, I'm already 30, but I am facing adversaries that work against me behind my back like sabotage, namely one person around my age and the rest are my family. Adults can still have enemies right? Especially if that person is immature and simply not sane and nice in general. That's a dangerous combination.
  14. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion


    Oh, I did not say they could not have enemies -- just that I usually never hear any adult (except in movies) refer to anyone as one. It's usually freeloaders/people trying to undercut us/bad mouthing idiots/pain in the arse/any other insult but never quite "enemy". So I was curious. Butyeah -- sounds like it sucks!
  15. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    This really makes sense we can't be so judgmental. Most of the time people are struggling with there problems. Still you don't have to let someone ruin your life with there problems. We just have to have a understanding of what's happening here. It's like addicts are in bondage to there addictions if they want out we should encourage them to break the bondage of addiction.
  16. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    @bluedressed, I see, I can't say that they are stupid or freeloaders, in fact they are quite clever when it comes to strategizing against me, so they really fit the term "enemies" or even "nemesis". One thing they have in common is that they are all liars.
  17. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Thanks for sharing, I think this can be applied to people who are not necessarily addicts. People like my bio dad (reconnected recently) his behavior has changed a lot, I sometimes wonder if it's caused by disease o his medication. He is just not the same person he used to be, he definitely wasn't like he is now when I was a kid or maybe he was but I never really noticed it?
  18. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Don't take that kind of comment so serious, I personally don't. Plus I think that remark was directed to users who do hard drugs. Plus alcoholism just sneaks in... you start to drink more and more often until bam you are an alcoholic. It happens most of the time without even realizing it.
  19. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    People believe its a disease? How the hell is addiction a disease? I've watched plenty of people with addiction. Its not that hard to watch because they seem happy. There really is nothing to hate about it. Eventually you might feel bad for them or sad. Unless of course you are involved closely with one. They are basically living in their dream world that is created by drugs and alcohol. Everything is fuzzy and blurred. Artificial happiness. I think it drums up sadness more than anything because they are destroying themselves.
  20. ellyjude

    ellyjude Active Contributor

    This is the most inspiring quote i have ever seen. I will definitely have to download this image and show it to other people who think negatively about addicts.