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Self sabataging

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Rosyrain, Dec 2, 2015.

  1. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Are you a person who self sabatages things or know someone who does this because they are afraid of good things that may happen to them? I have a friend who is like this and I am trying to figure out how to point it out to her without her getting mad at me.
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I've been like that at times in life, for sure. Sometimes my inner voice just gets to me and seems to tell me I'm not worthy or deserving of good things - and then the self sabotaging destructiveness comes in. I've gotten better at managing it, though - but I would be lying if I said that the negative self-talk doesn't creep in from time to time.
  3. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I am also guilty of doing this. Sometimes, I would degrade myself, and do self-pity. I am really trying to manage this issue though. I just always try to uplift my mood, and tell myself that I am my own hero, and I should not let myself down.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I've known some people whose negative thoughts and attitudes makes them unwilling to take action because they believe nothing they do can change anything, their lives already are a mess "so what's the point of even dreaming about a better life?"

    Such kind of stuff is what makes it almost impossible for such a person to fight their addictions because should they also delude themselves that they can't function without drugs.

    Learn to love yourself and tune out that self-talk. That would be a good way to combat self-sabotage.
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2015
    Rosyrain and kassie1234 like this.
  5. AngryItalian

    AngryItalian Member

    I have been beginning to work with someone like this, I know how frustrated you must feel. I am doing that while I am trying to get my own life back together, I am just that type of person, if you help others you become a better person yourself and help someone else become a better person. Try just informing her that she can do something with her life, something as small as an o-ring brought down a space station so why can't the little things she does do anything to change her life's direction entirely. It's all about perspective, and you need to encourage someone in this state to see the one that would be best for them to see.
  6. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Yup - that's exactly what I have to do! When the negative voice creeps in, I basically have to say "Really, Kassie? I don't think that sounds right!"

    It's about actively stopping myself when the negative thoughts come along and challenging them - it tends to work!
    Rainman likes this.
  7. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    Sure, I am guilty of doing this more times than I can count. I think that when you are in a delirium of substance abuse, depressive episodes and so on, your mind simply nullifies all possibility of positive experience, so you tend to fall back on being self destructive to the point where you have no regard for yourself. I feel like part of me was responsible for this self-sabotage, during the failures.
  8. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    To a certain extent I think a lot of people will be guilty of doing this one time or another.

    A lot of the time it's linked to self esteem and if a person as no self worth, then no matter how good something is that happens to them, they won't be able to accept it and only concentrate on the negative.
  9. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I am definitely guilty of this. It seems for as long as I can remember whenever I am happy something happens to change that so now when things are going good I am always expecting the worse. I can be my own worse enemy at times. I set myself up to be hurt it seems. I am learning to love myself but it isn't an easy thing to do. I know I am better then I was but I still have so far to go.
  10. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    I used to be this way. Whenever everything was going well I would be looking out to see what bad thing was going to happen next. I could never relax and be without fear. Only when I began to understand that it was fear operating in my life and that I could overcome it, did my life begin to change. Now I relax and take everything in my stride.
  11. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Negative thinking is indeed a self-sabotaging act. I do that at times, but I now know better that nothing positive can come out of it. So I decided to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, which is much better in general. As long as there is life, there is hope.
  12. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    There was a point in my life where I would constantly self sabotage. I did not believe that I deserved a better life than I had, so I continued on the path I was going. I think @serenity is right. All negative thinking is self sabotage in itself. You're bringing yourself down to a level that you shouldn't be brought down to.
  13. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I have never understood how some people could not possibly have life goals or think that nothing in life could ever go their way if they tried really hard. I might be considered one of those dreamer people because I feel that we are all capable of good things in our lives. I have just see people sink themselves because they think good things are beyond them or something.
  14. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I can relate to this, I have this weird sense that nothing is going to be okay, no matter how hard I try... And when good things happen to me
    I'm always thinking about how that is going to be over or a bad thing about it... It's really stressing because I can't enjoy the good this as other people seems to do.
  15. deewanna

    deewanna Senior Contributor

    I think so many of us are guilty of this kind of negative attitude. I have always tried to maintain a positive attitude as this has always made me believe that there is nothing I cannot do.