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Sex / pornography addiction

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by SuphaflyUK, Nov 7, 2014.

  1. rabst

    rabst Active Contributor

    Actually, the optimal mindframe for viewing porn is not exactly the mindframe that 'takes things into account.'

    I guess--like most people quit smoking by "only smoking when they're drunk"--you could apply a similar 'condition' to viewing porn---something like "only watch porn 'when you have absolutely nothing planned for the next two days' (practically nowhere to be until you feel like gettin` there)."

    But you risk falling to 'lethargy'---a kind of death-by-laziness ... you don't want to work, exercise, eat, breathe, etc. I fell a little bit to that when I dropped out of college. (I'll only go back to college when my employer PAYS ME TO (and I'm self-employed, so there's little chance of THAT happening!)) There's nothing a school could add to my resume that 1) is worth more than all the free time it took up or 2) I couldn't add-in myself with a little lying and finagling-to-confirm-the-lie ;)
  2. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    Watching porn can be taken into two directions. Either the person's relationship (sexually) is not satisfying or that the porn is inducing more sexuality and stimulation into the relationship. I've seen couples watch porn together and there are some that gain sexual ideas from porn.

    One thing you mentioned is that you do not get enough sex. Well that could be the cause of the problem. Sexual desire builds and causes frustration, most especially in males but also in females. Most especially when they are young. The inherent desire to propagate is what drives us all, even though we do not recognize it as that. You being 31, you are still young and still have the desire to "breed" and so you are sexually driven. Your release is to watch porn.

    This is all personal opinion with a little scientific fact added, of course.
  3. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Tell a porn viewer about 'the evils' of sex slavery and they'll be mad at the people who kidnap the girls so they can sell them. Little do they realize that some of the porn they watch on some sites is made by sex slaves who aren't in it for the money or just being exploited because they are poor.
    http://moderndayslaveryblog.wordpre...nk-between-pornography-and-human-trafficking/
    Porn consumers as the writer of the article I linked to says are the ones who keep sex slavery, sex trafficking, etc, etc, alive.
  4. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Yeah, a sad reality that we fail to accomplish when we sit in front of the computer to watch all that, it's a dark, dark reality and we keep it alive.
  5. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    That's right, the correct mind-frame to watch porn and other similar like stuff is the zombie mind-frame where we just want to satisfy our selfish desires regardless of everything else.
    rabst likes this.
  6. rabst

    rabst Active Contributor

    "Big B-raiiiiiiiiiiins ... honk-honk :D"
  7. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    LOL, not sure what do you mean by that rabst, but I am pretty sure that people don't get what they are supporting.
    rabst likes this.
  8. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    I also watch porn, and usually alone, even though I have been with my wife for over ten years. I go through spells on the frequency I watch it, but there was a time I was watching every day. Addiction as best described to me is something that you do to the point that it interferes in your daily life (your job, relationships, etc.). When you realize that it's effecting your life in a negative way but stop, then it is something you are addicted to. Does porn do this to your life? If not, I would not be worried.
  9. rabst

    rabst Active Contributor

    Actually, the part of it that makes it an "addiction" rather than just an 'obsessive hobby' (look at me :p using words as if I know what I'm talkin` `bout :D) is the belief/feeling that you CAN'T stop---that stopping will have an unwanted physical effect.

    For me (a single guy): if I don't keep up a regular 'reading a magazine'-diet ('that' is Ted's (how i met your mother) euphemism for a guy going into the restroom with a magazine to 'rub one out'), then I can't hug women without being 'overstimulated.'

    There's also the need for more-&-more of the addiction-substance to acheive the same effect. You can see that when--after a period of getting-off to fully nude fare--bikini-models just don't 'do it' for you anymore.
  10. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    I feel that porn just fills our head with fantasy when in fact reality is something different. Sure, to an extent it can spice up our sex life, depending on our partner.
  11. Determined2014

    Determined2014 Senior Contributor

    You are right, watching porn all the time could affect his realtion ship with his wife ,if he has one or when he will get one, most of all he will expect his wife to perform like the women in the porn , yet some of it is fake,so it would be a good idea if he stopped.
  12. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    I have always heard about this addiction but I am not quite sure to what extent I would say it is harmful to adults. I watch porn with my spouse and I have no problem with him watching it. The only thing I would have a problem with is if he is forcing me to indulge in acts that he has seen but I am uninterested in trying them and also if he has interest in watching the movies and I am not getting as much attention as his porn.
  13. LoyalServant

    LoyalServant Member

    I have to admit i'm on the same boat. I watch porn on a daily basis and cannot keep myself from doing so. I have been watching pron for quite a while, to the point where it has become a habit.

    I have tried in the past to restrain myself form watching porn as it was interfering with my relationship but to no avail. I know my girlfriend is upset, and I feel as though she is harshly judging even if she has never watched any herself. I'm not really sure how to address this issue...
    -LoyalServant
  14. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I'm sure being used to it at an early age and having the resources so easily accessible does tend to change the brain mechanics of anyone, but is think it can be helped especially for someone who recognizes the problem relatively early on. I've seen a couple of videos on YouTube about people eventually managing to give it up, so I'd recommend looking for those if you need more clarification on your condition as well as some possible solutions. I'm guessing getting some psychiatric help might also be beneficial because as with most thigs, there's usually an underlying problem that we're failing to address when behaviors like these manifest.
  15. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Porn is something that doesn't benefit us because it fills our head with fantasy that many times have no correspondence to real life and might lead to impotence, the sooner we realize this the better.
    Winterybella likes this.
  16. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Most porn consumers don't realize that too much of it would get them ED. The reason quite obviously is they get desensitized to what would have "ignited" them if I have to use a euphemism here. Since they get so used to seeing naked bodies, etc, etc they'll need something more hard core to get them up but since their partners won't be willing to do what is done on those videos it may end up ending what might have been a good relationship, marriage, etc.
  17. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    This is quite an interesting topic but I'm not really sure what to say about this. I've seen porn with my husband and I think it is not really a good thing to watch. But you select what you watch and you don't watch it every single day. By selecting I refer to movies that do not have orgies and the like.

    For me watching every single day is not good at all. It makes you so immune to things about it that is not even realistic.
  18. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Watching porn with your husband is taking stuff to the next level. Like you say, if you start seeing orgies and stuff the next step will see that happening in your life.
  19. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    Sex and pornography are diversions to the brighter elements of daily living. Too much sex or too much pornography tips the balance of a normal lifestyle and your conception of socialization and friendship. At times, you may be engulfed in that arena of sexualism and your brain would just revolve on fantasies and orgasms. Why not focus on some moral practices such as going to a church or going to mountain hikes, etc.?
  20. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor


    I don't agree that you have to have the feeling you can't stop to be an addict. There are a lot of addicts that are in denial. This is the reason they keep going with the drug. It takes most people hitting rock bottom before they try to save themselves. Some people may admit they can't stop before that, but I think most do not. It is when it is slammed into their face they have no choice but admit it, or end up dead.
    rabst likes this.