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Sexual Assault and Aftermath.

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by DatGiz, Mar 4, 2015.

  1. DatGiz

    DatGiz Member

    I was sexually assaulted a couple of months ago, and I'm not dealing with it particularly well. I have always been rather weak in my resolve, and even though I told myself I'd never fall back in, I seem to have done it anyways. I used to just numb myself with lots of booze and loud music, but after what happened it isn't enough anymore. I tried smoking some weed, but it just makes me mellow and uncomfortable, so I decided to take some LSD with some friends of mine. I love how it feels, but I know it's wrong. I just can't decide what I'm going to do, and it feels like my entire life has turned upside down. I guess I just wanted it all out, so here it is. If anyone took the time to read this, just know it means a lot to me.
    All the best, Miles.
    kana_marie likes this.
  2. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Hi Miles, I can see that you want to talk about your feelings and thoughts more than anything, and that the drugs are a form of self-medication to, as you say, numb you. I know that it's not easy to find the right person or group to share your inner self with, but I also know that there is someone near you whose mind and heart is open to you, be that a special friend or a professional counselor.
    When I struggled with some deeply personal experiences, I went to see a Buddhist counselor in a monastery near my town. He was the right person for me, putting a spiritual perspective on my problems at the time.
    Sooner or later, you will come across someone or something that will help you and point you in the right direction. :)
  3. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    You're in a right mess right now and I think you could use a little help untangling yourself. Please take @amethyst's advice and try and find someone to talk to about this. Otherwise, you risk getting yourself in a situation where you are smoking increasing amounts and taking more drugs to try and blot the pain out.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Drugs will provide only a temporary "escape." This is something you need deal with hard though it might be and the sooner you do it the better it would be [for you]. I would also recommend talking to a counselor. There are a few places on the net where you can get free counseling if you are willing to give it a try.
  5. Rowe992

    Rowe992 Senior Contributor

    Well I am sorry to hear about the assault. I hope you have reported the matter to the police. You should stop using the drugs and alcohol and try to get help from a professional. Drugs will only make you feel high for a while while the issues you have will not go again until you have had some form of counseling.
  6. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I am terribly sorry to hear about what happened to you, Miles. I suggest that you go to the authorities immediately, regardless of what the situation is or who did this. No one should be able to get away with this type of behavior and this could honestly lead to more people being attacked. I know that drugs are the natural thing to go to during a rough period of time, but I highly suggest that you do not do that. It will only make matters worse.
    Zyni likes this.
  7. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    Your life has been turned upside down. That doesn't mean it has to stay that way. As impossible as it might seem right now, you can heal. It never goes away completely, but you can get a handle on it, and time and support does help. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

    You know that getting high isn't going to help. For a minute, you can ignore that pain, but you know that the pain will still be there. You know that this will lead to a downward spiral. Don't let what was done to you change who you are. I know it's much easier said than done, but with help, you can get in control.
  8. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Hey Miles. I'm so sorry for what's happened to you. You really have come to the right place for added support. I say added support because as others have mentioned you need and really should be seeking counseling to deal with all the emotions that are causing you so much pain and leading you down the wrong path to deal with it. It has already started affecting what was a normal life for you. Please, please seek help and know that the members of this forum, myself included, will be waiting to hear your two-fold story if you wish to share.

    You're not weak only wounded and you need time to heal - stay away from the booze and drugs and give your body, mind and spirit a chance to get in sync again, stronger and beautifully.
  9. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I'm sorry for what happened to you. I have almost been through that situation before wherein this man almost assaulted me when I was in high school, that's really a traumatic event and has left me with a phobia. Anyway, I won't blame you for turning into drugs because yes, drugs give you pleasure, and yes, they help you forget bad experiences in the past. However, it's just a temporary bliss, not a permanent one. Look for other activities to do to keep your mind off terrible things. Getting messed up with drugs is never the solution.

    I wish you all the best, Miles.
  10. TommyVercetti

    TommyVercetti Community Champion

    More than ever, you need to come to terms with your horrifying experience by seeking out help. It's only going to lead you into a downward spiral if you let it continue. You must realize for yourself that what that person did to you isn't over yet, it's still happening to you right now. You are still affected. The difference is, you have the power to stop it this time. Don't let that person ruin you further.
  11. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I think talking to someone you trust or even a counselor can help you vent and be a catharsis for those negative emotions that you feel. I have been in similar situations, but not in a violent way but a sinister and underhanded type of molestation, so I know how it feels to be taken advantage of. It really angered me, but I felt a bit of "relief" when I opened it to trustworthy people. Taking drugs will not really help you in the long run.
  12. sazzydan

    sazzydan Active Contributor

    Hello miles, you have done the right thing by asking for some advice from your peers and people who have experienced what you are currently going through, so a big well done for making that first step.

    Firstly, I am very sorry to hear of your experience, it cannot have been a nice ordeal to have had to go through and I can only imagine what it must have been like, but you have to remember that you have the rest of your like ahead of you and you can get through without using drugs.

    LSD is a particular nasty drug. I am aware of many ways to take this and all are just as dangerous and risky as each other. As you are more than likely aware, one wrong hit of thus stuff you could end up dead and that is the risk you are taking when using it. Not only that, but one bad trip and you could end up doing something stupid, so if you do continue to take it please be very careful.

    Support is available miles, as I said, you have come here for advice and I can only hope that you choose to listen to some of it, everyone has your best interest at heart.

    Have you tried counselling? Although it seems a daunting prospect at first, talking through your issues really helps, whether that be online or face to face it can help so much. It lets you release your anger and get it out instead of keeping it to yourself.

    You mentioned you took this drug with friends. It seems to me these friends are trying to numb your pain, but this is the wrong way to go about it and the be honest they should not be letting you take drugs to overcome an issue such as this, especially if you are not coping very well

    My suggestion would be to try counselling, even if it is only to try it. One of the best forms of getting over something, as stupid as it sounds is get a sheet of paper and write everything down that is hurting you. It will be emotional to put it all into words and at points it will be hard. Write it in great detail, your feelings, how you are coping and anything else you want to write down. Re-read it, then take it into the yard and burn it. This not only shows you that this is the past and you are going to get over it, it can also give you closure. I have had friends and family do this and say they feel a lot better for it. It seems very simple, but at the same time is also very effective.

    I know it is hard to forget things that have happened in the past, I know that all too well. But please do not let it affect your future. You have people available to speak to who will help you though it. There are support groups available to that are designed to help people who have experienced sexual assault, these people specialize in helping you get through situations, and you could also make some friends in the process.

    I hope this has helped, even a little and hope to hear your success story of you getting through this very soon!
  13. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, it's an evil experience I know. Being here and talking about what happened is a great place to start but you need you talk to someone face to face about this. Drugs will only provide temporary relief but the will very quickly start to make things worse.
    True concern 2 likes this.
  14. vi0let

    vi0let Member

    I'm really sorry that you have to be going through this. I want to applaud you however, on speaking out about it. That's a huge step in the direction to moving on and being able to deal with your attack properly.
    As someone who has been a victim of sexual violence myself, I'm all too familiar with the idea of coping through various substances. Regardless of what anyone tells you about avoiding this, sometimes you just need to go through it to learn for yourself.
    I wish you all the luck and you have my support with everything 100%.
    True concern 2 likes this.