Hi everyone, this is my first time ever participating in an online discussion of any topic, however, I am confident it will be a huge help to me to have the opportunity to share my journey daily with fellow addicts like myself. I have been a heroin addict for 22 years now with a couple of lengthy periods of sobriety, and numerous relapses. I have always been whats considered a "functional addict", meaning I have always had the ability to maintain a semi-normal life while using daily, even to the point where I've been in several long term relationships with men that lasted 5+ years without them having the slightest notion that I had a substance abuse problem. In A/A and/or N/A, there's a well-known saying, "your only as sick as your secrets". That is a concept I can relate to well. Being that my addiction has been my #1 biggest secret I have always worked hard to keep under wraps, it has now become an issue I am not confronted about by family or loved ones as being a problem that I need help with. That being said, after much thought and contemplation, I have made a decision to face this demon and take it by the horns once and for all. I'm truly ready to do whatever it takes to leave this horrific and miserable rat race in the past and reclaim my life from the grips of this heroun addiction. I have small children, and this has been the hardest part to find a way to do an at home detox when I have very little help with caring for my children in any way. Realistically, I know there is just no way I could successfully detox and care for my children properly thru that process. It was not at all easy, but I have finally found the guts to take action and make arrangements for this, and I now have finally made a way for myself to begin this journey tomorrow morning. I have just enough heroin left to get me thru the rest of today, have made plans to take my girls to grandma's house this evening, and have purchased necessary items to aid in relieving the symptoms of withdrawal as much as possible, although I know from past experience there is just not a way to erase all pain and discomfort 100% thru this process as withdrawal from any opiate based drug is going to be painful and uncomfortable to a certain degree regardless. However, I am confident that with what I have and the determination and drive I have to see this thing thru, I can and absolutely will get thru this. I sincerely hope that in posting my daily progress, thoughts and feelings not only will doing that keep me strong and motivated to keep pushing thru this, it will also be an encouragement to others who may be struggling and trying to find the strength to bite the bullet and get clean as well. Ending for now, will be back with an update tomorrow.