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Should I go to rehab if I'm being offered it?

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Amy May, Oct 12, 2018.

  1. Amy May

    Amy May Member

    Hi, my name is Amy and I'm 18. I am a senior in highschool and have all A's. I started dating a guy from the same school and he is my best friend in the whole world, we've been through a lot but hes never left. When I was 11 I started smoking and doing little stuff that was destructive but I never thought much of it. I've been addicted to narcotics for awhile now and it has really taken a toll on my life, the school got involved and my boyfriend and I have a drug counselor but my boyfriend lies to him a lot and so it seems like I'm the only one with a problem even though we do all of the same stuff. My brother has started to notice that I'll start vomiting in the morning and he can tell it's because I've taken something, he also notices that I drop weight really quickly and don't really focus on anything anymore. He brought up that I should go to rehab but my boyfriend would probably leave me because he doesn't want help. I definitely would like to get better and every time I bring it up to him he gets pissy so I've stopped. The only way that I'll go to rehab is if he is willing to go with me but it's obvious that he won't and even if he did I probably wouldn't be able to see him and that's difficult because I know he would leave me and that's my biggest fear. I don't know if I should try and just quit on my own or try and talk him into going? I promise he's the sweetest guy in the world and I dont mean to make him sound like a monster.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator I will read your post but to answer your initial question YES go-to rehab
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @Amy May Ok so damnit your 18 year's old and a senior in high school with straight A's and your trapped by young love.Ok so I will go a different route here.You say both you and your boyfriend use drug' want help and he doesn't. You will only go to rehab if you can convince him to go with you because you love him THAT much...but he doesn't want help...You probably have this beautiful vision of staying with him forever because YOU love him THAT much....but he doesn't want help.You said he is a wonderful guy and I believe you,he is your best friend and you have a strong connection with him and your family wants you to go to rehab and you can see you should as your starting a downward spiral of self destruction that won't stop unless you get help,I promise you this because year's ago I was in your shoes...straight A's,first honor roll all the way through school,scholarships started coming in buutttt I was in love and wouldn't go get help unless she went too,I didn't go and we stayed together for about 5 year's, getting high the entire time ohh I actually never graduated high school..dropped out with 17 credits to go.I wanted help but she wouldn't go anyways,she left me a little over 5 year's in and I ended up getting married to another woman I love dearly but I never got help.Fastforward 20 year's and my wife left me and I never got help.I am now sober but it only took over 20 year's to get here and ohh ya I'm all alone because I never got help.YOU won't go without him because he means that much to you but HE doesn't want help,so ask YOURSELF what is most important to him YOU or the drug's because HE doesn't want help!Your young with the world at your fingertips, but YOU need help and if your worried he will leave you if you go to rehab then sweetheart you already see he means more to you than YOU mean to him so please GO GET HELP and take control of your life,make something great out of your life,Find you,Fix you,Love YOU and the rest will come.But YOU must LOVE YOU before anyone else can or will.STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS. You are not your addiction. Find YOURSELF and shine like the star's in the skies
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Amy May... Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear that you and your boyfriend struggle with addiction. But I'm glad you found us and decided to post.

    @True concern has given you some amazing advice and insight. You are EIGHTEEN years old and you have your whole life in front of you. The absolute best thing you can do for yourself, and your future, is to get the help you need to overcome your addiction to opiates. Trust me: If you continue on the road your on, things are going to get worse real fast and your life is going to totally derail. You need to get help NOW. If your boyfriend doesn't want to get help, so be it. But you can't let YOUR well-being and future be dependent on what HE wants. YOUR life is the only one you have control over. Period. His life is his life. If you let him dictate how you care for yourself, you're going to end up in a bad place.

    My son started using drugs when he was 15. I've seen what addiction can do to a young person with great potential and a promising future. Please, please, please take any help you can get, my dear. You do not want to end up fighting a lifetime battle with addiction.

    We are here to help you, support you, encourage you, and listen to you. You can come and lean on us anytime you feel the need. Just remember: YOUR life is the most important one. Period. You may love your boyfriend, but you have to love yourself more.

    Sending you tons of positive juju and big hugs full of hope. Please take care of yourself.
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  5. Amy May

    Amy May Member

    Thank you guys so much for the positivity it really means a lot, I'm just a little confused at the moment on whether I should go or not. I understand that it is a great thing that I could benifit from but also I believe that I don't really have a problem. I know that I obviously not all there or I wouldn't be doing this to myself but there are definitely people that need treatment way more than I do. I've been talking to my brother about it and he keeps telling me that I'm ruining my life but I'm still getting good grades, working, I'm section leader in our band and I'm maintaining a relationship. There are times that I feel like garbage but everyone does at some point. I know he's looking out for me but he only sees the bad when in reality it's not as bad as it seems
    Dominica likes this.
  6. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Amy May

    Thanks for reaching out. The others have given you some good advice and direction. There's always going to be somebody worse off, but I want you to hear me when I say that addiction is a progressive disease. People don't go from A to B in a week or a month or maybe even a year. But they progressively use more and more, find more reasons to use, and their quality of life gets worse over time. You probably use more now then you used to and if you continue to do what you're doing in a year or two down the road you will be using more. Addiction doesn't care about your age or what grades you have, it's very sly and it will trick you into believing that you don't have a problem and that you can quit anytime. Or that it's not "that bad".... yet, you run the risk of overdose at anytime... you're harming your organs...wasting money...etc.

    Just something to think about. If you're able to see an addiction specialist or counselor, perhaps you could go that route for now. There are plenty of addicts out there who have good jobs and hold down relationships and even raise children, but the reality is that they're addicted to something. Could be pills or alcohol or heroin and so on. And deep inside they're miserable, in a lot of pain, and wish to God they could get free.

    I think if you have the ability to go to rehab, I think that you should go. There's a lot you can gain from it, and we really do want to see you succeed in all areas of your life. But just know that we're here for you no matter what you decide.
    LaurenJ and deanokat like this.
  7. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I applaud your conviction and confidence but here is the reality.If you read my post I forgot to mention when I was your age,using I functioned just like you...infact from the age of 17-23 I made just over 70 thousand a year at 22-23 I made 81 thousand in those 5 year's I made enough to pay for a nice house and could have paid in full by 23 but I was cocky,I thought I was in control, I thought damn if I made this in this short time I can party my ass off and then stop and be able to still buy a house paid in full by 28......I I was wrong I live in a small ass apartment and I struggle monthly as 400000 dollar's worth of booze and dope obviously changed me and I lost job after job.Today I fight for sobriety and as my head clears and my mind strengthens the damage I did to my body slows me down a lot.Take advantage of your youth and conquer your addiction before it conquers you,please hear my warning...IT IS AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS.Please love yourself enough to take advantage of the good thing's in your life
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  8. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    Amy May,
    Hi. Recovery will begin the moment you surrender (stop fighting) and accept that you are an addict or a person with the disease of addiction. Without that initial wave of the white flag you won't get any relief. No matter how long you think you can hold it together and that your life will get better or you will feel won't...your addiction as Dominica says will progress. This is a fact that no matter how you phrase your questions and no matter who you ask will not change. Facts don't change.
    Recovery which you will experience in rehab is for people who WANT it not those who need it.
    You have the opportunity literally of a lifetime in front of you. Take it. Go to rehab. Like True Concern and Deanokat say: you are what is important and you will most likely lose everything. You just haven't lost it or your life YET.
    We say this not to judge. Not to preach. We are all saying the same thing why? Because we have been where you are. If only I did this at 18 I would have so much life to look back on and be proud of and smile at the memories vs. lost years and built up issues within myself and I wouldn't be struggling for happiness at 57 years old. Please, do it and one day you will be so grateful you did. You can build a beautiful life. What you do today will make what your tomorrows are like.
    Dominica, deanokat and True concern like this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @Liola I can say with confidence that you put that almost perfectly, I couldn't have said it any better.You have a gift in the way you explain and the inspiration it delivers...Thank you
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Amy May... You may be functioning now, but, like others have said, addiction is a progressive disease. If you continue on the path you're on, I can almost guarantee that things will get worse. So if that's not something you want to experience, why not get the help now? Are there people out there that need help way more than you do? Of course there are. But YOU are the only person you should be concerned about.

    Also, in your second post you said "I believe that I really don't have a problem." That sounds a bit like denial to me, especially since you said this in your initial post: "I've been addicted to narcotics for awhile now and it has really taken a toll on my life."

    The choice to get treatment or not is yours and yours alone. But I would urge you to seriously consider it. You have so much going for you and I would hate to see your addiction take it all away from you. Trust me: That can and does happen to many, many people who think they don't have a problem.
    Dominica and True concern like this.