An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

So hard even hanging out with friends

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by aimeep80, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. Alcohol isn't bad if you drink during social events and birthdays the issue is when you start drinking just to drink! Alcohol should be only used for celebrations and avoided in times when you need to be productive if he hasn't drink since i would say you will be fine! it seems to me he just had a little fun with friends now if you start seeing his patterns of drinking coming back than thats where the problem lies!
  2. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your story, I hope that you're doing better now! Remember that social pressure is a big thing for us as humans and sometimes it can 'force' us to do things that we usually won't do, like drinking after being sober for example, so it don't necessary has to be with a daily thing after that. But regardless, I think that you should talk to your husband about it, let him know how do you feel with that behavior, if he did it before, I'm pretty sure that he won't have problems now.
    Good luck!
  3. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for the replies. He did not drink any more after those two nights and I'm very proud of him for not drinking. I know it is hard. Especially when the weather is getting nice and we are outside more and he is barbecuing and mowing the lawn/doing yard work etc. All of that reminds him of popping open a beer.

    For him drinking is all or nothing. And what I mean by this is that he can not stop at just one or two. He "has" to drink until he is plastered so therefor him not drinking at all is actually best. BUT of course I can't tell him what to do, but I do speak my mind and let him know that he should sit down and think before he reacts to buying beer.

    He has a friend coming into town in the next couple of weeks and the guy drinks so I think they will probably have a party of sorts. Maybe not, but I tend to be pretty good at reading him lol. Either way I am here for him, I love him, and I support his sobriety. If he slips he slips..hes only human. Again, thank you all for the replies and I hope you've all had a great weekend!
    MrsJones likes this.
  4. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think that most people who quit drinking will find it hardest to stay sober when they're out with friends, and that's especially the case when those friends are drinking.

    If you can't stop drinking when socializing then maybe at least try and come to a compromise with yourself. Only drink when your at a party or when you go out to be with friends and they're drinking. Don't drink in your own home, and don't drink if nobody else is.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  5. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Some people who recover from alcoholism are able to have drinks occasionally in their recovered life, others cannot have any. Everyone's recovery is different. What is okay for someone's recovery may not be okay for another person. Keep being supportive of his recovery and the road to an alcohol-free life. As you mentioned, he needs to really want to recover to make it happen.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  6. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Hindsight is 20/20. In most situations you need to make sure that you surround yourself with the right people and environment. It was your event and it should of been made clear that no alcohol is allowed. To reach sobriety you need to have the right support group.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  7. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Yeah, they key is to achieve balance and this means moderation. Like @Tremmie says we can simply have a drink socially and no harm come from there...
    aimeep80 likes this.
  8. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @aimeep80. I like the way you have maintained yourself through it where most of us would have reacted differently. My husband can't take one drink either and knows that as well. It has been several years now if this should happen I'm not sure how I would react. I pray that I will remember how you handled yourself.
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2016
    aimeep80 likes this.
  9. rajesh

    rajesh Senior Contributor

    You need to make him aware of the dangers of alcohol. You can show him various success stories. You need to motivate him. God will help you. Guide him and make him aware of the danger of relapses. Hopefully, he will be healthy.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  10. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    Thank you all. @MrsJones thank you so much. I just try so hard to be patient and trust me that it isn't always easy. I love him with my whole heart and soul and understand that it is a disease. I just keep telling myself that as hard as it is the remember it sometimes.
  11. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    Slip ups do happen from time to time. Though your husband can't stop other people from drinking, he can control his. And as much as he likes his friends he can't just live under a rock forever either. I'm sorry you are in a tough situation because recovery can be long and hard.
  12. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    It's tough when you want the best for someone but you know that it's impossible to change them or force them to change...I also think it's hard when you can't confide in your friends that you're sober now, I feel like if your husband had been able to say "hey, I'm not drinking right now" then it would be easier. Social gatherings were hard for me too in those initial days. It gets easier. Hopefully instead of him seeing the drinking as a setback he'll view it as a learning experience and grow from it.