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So Sad I lost a Sweet Guy to Meth

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Salanndali33, Dec 23, 2017.

  1. Salanndali33

    Salanndali33 Member

    I won't make this long, this is my first time on this site. I joined, so I can share with you, & hope you will talk to me & help my heart that is aching now. I am 65 years old. Met this very handsome man 4.5 years ago, he is a year younger which made us 61 & 60. Hoping this was the last man in my life, fell in love, head over heels. Was star struck by his good looks, pretty tan skin, dark eyes & hair, no gray might I add. Kind, considerate, just sweet natured, so talented. Fast forward. I have put up with canceled dates, promises of good times, a little travel, visiting, all never materialized. I drove to see him for years, 25 miles one way, to find him sleep on the sofa, often, saying , "I didn't know you were coming tonight". Then that wonderful man would show up again, hook me all over. He now has gotten to the point of not even cutting his grass. Won't get into all the other upsets, all the laundry that has piled up in his outside laundry room with no towels to even shower with, all the dishes in the house dirty, him sleep on the sofa. I moved closer to him by choice of house to buy, in August this year, so he did start driving to see me. He was wonderful those sweet times, but those awful times outweighed the good, 2 to 1. He had started bossing me around, telling me who to see, had blown up several times in the past to where I was afraid to confront him or contradict him for fear of those unexpected outburst of anger directed at me. I finally called it quits for the umpteenth time this Thanksgiving, but for good this time. Really, we saw one another about once every other week, for a few hours, then he was gone. It was time. He loaded up what few little things he had at my house, put them in his vehicle, walked around the front of his vehicle & said, "I am so very sorry, I should have told you about my drug addition". Oh My Gosh, I had no idea, NONE. I have never been around drugs, I work for a drug free company. Did I mention that he has not worked in 30+ years? I was then, & am now, just devastated. How did I miss drugs, & for me, he lied to me for 4.5 years. I trusted him, really, I trusted him, every word that he said, all his actions, I trusted him. All of you out there, I am so heart broken, so sad that he did this. He did not tell me till now, how could he not tell me? Oh, yes, we had a couple conversations after the breakup, the second call was for 89 minutes on my phone with him telling me how awful I had been to him, yep, I was awful to him. & How dare I look mean at his dog! Seriously??? I did get to ask what Drug was he on, Meth? OMGosh, Meth. I just wanted to talk to all of you, as you will understand my heart ache. My close friends are tired of listening to me. Thank you for reading my forum. I pray for all of us. Hugs, to each & everyone, wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Salanndali33... Thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry about what happened with your boyfriend. Addiction is a beast and it has destroyed more than its fair share of relationships. Just remember what the Nar-Anon and Al-Anon support groups teach about a loved one's addiction: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

    Also, please don't blame yourself for not noticing his addiction. That's not on you, my dear.

    Thanks for the hugs and the Christmas wishes. I hope you had a lovely holiday. Know that I'm sending lots of love and light back at ya.
    Salanndali33 likes this.
  3. Salanndali33

    Salanndali33 Member

    Thank you so much for the wishes. Sad that such great people have gone down that dark hole, to never come out again. I went down that dark hole with my now, dead husband who died of alcoholism. I was so attracted to this guy, he did not drink, rancher, quiet, listener, we made great friends of each other. The really good times were really good, but those bad times that outweighed the good, 10 to 1. I am reading everything I can get my hands on, have had some therapy, and am doing fun things for myself with good friends. I know there is someone in their 60's as I am, out there that is not, nor has been on drugs, that would love to share time with me, & I am ready to move onto a better life. Thanks to all of you again for listening. Will keep all informed as I move forward. Hugs to everyone, we will get better.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Happy new year to you, @Salanndali33. I hope 2018 is a great one for you!