hello this is my first post here but I'll keep it short sweet and to the point ! I am a 26 yo female. Have been an addict for about 10 years although I didn't hit the hard stuff until about the last 3. I am currently 4 and a half months clean off meth and have been living at a sober living house after completing three weeks at an inpatient detox facility. I am struggling right now because I pretty much only came to the sober living house due to the fact I had nowhere else to go. Well that just has changed as a friend of mine has offered to let me rent a room in his house for 250$ a month which is a great deal. However finding that out was extremely triggering for me... I feel like my resolve to stay sober is wavering because now I have a way out. I keep thinking about how amazing it feels to have the needle push it into your veins, the rush, the feeling of warmth flooding through your body. I was able to hold down my job through my addiction however lost pretty much everything else. Now that I'm clean I've gained 50 lbs and I keep telling myself that maybe I can just use for a little while until I lose the weight and then get off of it again... Iknow that's not what would actually happen. Clearly I am not ready to move out yet, I don't even have a car and there would be no way for me to get to work but the thought is extremely tempting I'm like I could get a job close to my friends house and go from there... My other cravings I've sucessfully been able to over come due to the fact that I refuse to be homeless again but now that that is not the case this is probably the worst craving and the most intense one I've had yet. Help!
I wonder , does your friend use? IMO It sounds like you are NOT ready to leave Sober Living , tho getting out is tempting , the weight can come off without dope but it's harder. Also IMO your cravings still seem VERY strong . & I think that you know yr not ready to face and deal with the world yet , & I agree that you TRULY know using for a short time will turn out Bad & likely worse than before u went to detox . Please stay strong & try to get your mind strait ( easy for me to say , I know ) but please Try your hardest for YOU. We do care .