I slept very well last not and tried very , very , very hard to maintain a positive demeanor and an attitude. If this would quit buzzing my ears and head I would definitely be more mature as far as doing what I needed to do to have all of my own responsibilities in place. I would probably go to the gym and try to exercise my body. My mind is occupied enough on its own and I really need some more silence so I can start developing a personality that will benefit me. If I was in a situation where I was healthier I would deginrtjuvyhonk about not only my health but my future. I would likely seek out additional forms of employment in another state for a few months just to make sure u have a job and also other options. It would be nice to spend some alone time by myself in another area. Work hard in a state that has tourism during the fall and stay in a tent. I could definitely find something that would suite my needs better when it comes to my overall life. I need new experiences and I would prefer to do it on my own and or investigate how I can manage alone. I hate being in a position where someone else is not looking after their own health or morals. Having someone that even drinks until 3-4 am once in awhile is enough for me to think about not being apart of their lives because it’s disrupting and does not line up with where I would like to be in life. The voices are probably the most destructive force I have ever witnessed and they are taking so much energy and intelligence away from how I use to be that I feel like a broken person that is capable of getting glimpses of going forward. Things are ok right now but they are far from normal.