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Something positive

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by DoxyMom, May 23, 2019.

  1. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @liliann we are definitely pulling for you!! you can always be truthful here... if it's one thing i think we can all agree on is that quitting something you're addicted to isn't easy.... there are many factors involved...and the reality is that sometimes relapse happens. sometimes multiple attempts at rehab are needed... but we never give up. not on each other and not on ourselves.

    we are with you all the way @liliann and with you too @deanokat .... may your son find the best rehab for him and make an incredible shift toward full long-term recovery.
    True concern likes this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Dominica is right, @liliann: We are all pulling for you!! And I know you can do this!!! Come here anytime you need or want to. We will always listen without judgment, no matter what.

    I'm sending you all the positive energy I can muster today. Please receive it and use it to help yourself succeed.
    Dominica likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Dominica... Thanks for your kind words about my son. Unfortunately, I think his desire to go to rehab has waned, so that likely won't be happening. As of now, he's seeing an addiction therapist, attending a relapse prevention group, and says he's going to go to AA meetings. (We'll see if he follows through on that.) It's sort of plan, even though it's not the plan I would've liked for him to come up with. But he's 29, ya know? I can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. Guess we'll see what happens.

    Thanks again for your support.
    Dominica likes this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I l ove and believe in you @liliann ,you can do this
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I am assuming you are not going to comment on this,oh and just so you understand my personality a bit better...Use that passion to respond,I am not going to understand your response unless it's genuine,I'm not here looking to be pacified I'm here for the passionate responses otherwise what's the point?
    Dominica likes this.
  6. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    I will respond.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    No worries bro,it's not a big deal I get the message already
  8. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Ok I told you i would respond...here goes-
    I too used to say i did not like substances. And actually that used to be the truth. For you if you say it is then my friend I have no reason to brought you at all.
    What hits close to home with me is that I was really indifferent when I had my wife. And like you, you lost your wife yet she is still alive. Same here.
    And it is after I lost her that I began to lie to myself and say I didn't like the substances, I'm going to use oxycontin as an example as it was what got me during this period.
    So unused oxy while married and ideas a recreational user. I went to work, made my wife happy. We were happy with a baby on the way, and I had planned (and still believe I would have) stopped to drug parties when the baby got Leah (that was what we had named her) arrived.
    Well, we lost our baby. Then not a year later My wife gets sick...
    Dude, I fell back on oxy everyday so much so that I HAD to use coke to keep myself awake at work. I hate uppers.
    I don't know how many times I've said that. If I really think about it I actually love that speed ball shot. Man I guess I do like coke, until I crash. Then I'm just wasting money to shoot or snort powder to keep from crashing. But that first hour or so, you know I'm in the mile high club. And loving every second of it. And every bit of it is a lie...
    So I know when I get mad or even passionate for that matter I tend to come off as angry.
    I didn't want to come off as angry to one of my best friends on here. I do want to as k you as a friend though do you like the substances while on them. You just hate them when they wear off and you hate everything they leave in their destructive wake...
    Because for me getting sober I had to realize oxy wasn't just a crutch anymore and I had to admit I liked oxycontin.
    There I said it. I like to speed ball to. I just hate everything that comes with it, and the fact that every shot could be my last. In fact I was getting such a tolerance that every shot I was risking an overdose. But I WAS a junkie, and that's what junkies do.
    There was one other point I was going to bring up and I will when I remember it. Just know everything I said was because I care, and was simply offering a different way of looking at things that helped me personally get to where I am now.
    Lord knows I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making all ends and repairs and it still won't be good enough.
    But like you have always told me and these words truly have given me strength when I was down..
    Oh!

    Yes what else I was gonna say-
    You said pure ignorance..
    Can't be ignorance since You are aware. Ignorance is the lack of knowledge. So since you know this it is denial... At least that is my perspective.
    Your too smart to claim ignorance(I don't have ignorant friends) not anymore anyway. Love you man.
    Stay Strong. God Bless.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Valid observation....it can't be ignorance because I am aware that much is true and can't be denied.To answer your other question.I mean it when I say it...At no time do I like any substance and yes indeed I will say I hate them all.I think I am stuck there because I never got to choose for myself. Ritalin at 6 year's old...i need to let it go but I just can't, alcohol daily by 6th grade,by 8th grade I had an uncle slipping me meth,during all this another family member was doing everything he could to turn me racist and in my youth it worked however I out grew that easily because I genuinely care for people, especially those who need help...i don't know where it comes from but I thrive when I'm helping other's out of dangerous situations. My parents are still married and my dad is sober now but he was wasted my entire childhood we didn't have our first conversation until I was 18 and he lived with us,I don't know bro I just have a large amount of traumatic event's locked in my brain not to mention my wife's was seeing another man through out our entire marriage and I never accused her because I never caught her and instead of being suspicious or paranoid about it i never 1 time tracked her down only because I don't have anything left that makes me a person except for trust/and l ove and consciously I made the decision to not sacrifice anything else that makes me me and he is a millionaire so she had everything but I had to hustle for what I had because I didn't want anything from his money...just a lot bro many thing's went against me my entire life but God won't give a person more than they can handle so there is strength in me somewhere and I believe that it must be a good amount
    deanokat, Dominica and Joshstillclean like this.
  10. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    That's true. God must know you are a really strong person. And God is never wrong.
    I did not remember until just now that you got addicted at such a young age...and against your choice!
    I'm sort bro. Man I don't even need to get into that. I just read a post that made me go ballistic. I just hit send I didn't even finish...
    But I believe every word. And I truly believe it is wrong to put kids on meth. I've snorted a few Ritalin. It reminded me of my 1 shot of meth I did that I thought killed me.
    I have had a lot of "close call shots" (you know that train through your ears feeling). But OMG that Ritalin and that shot were just about the same.
    It should be illegal.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  11. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Ya but everyone deal's with bad sh*t at some point in life I just got all my memories lined up and placed in order but I have zero doubt I will overcome them all and when that day arrives I will make a true difference in other's lives and feeling that deep in my heart and soul i accept all these hurdles and take them in stride here very soon because I have just about unlocked all my bad memories or at least I pray so
    deanokat, Dominica and Joshstillclean like this.
  12. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I didn't choose the syringe either my cousin injected me the first time when I was passed out drunk...i almost forgot about that but I assume that's just life
  13. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    That's rare to be able to unlock these memories they usually make us targets.(I know I sound nuts to people who don't know. Just be glad you don't know folks and don't go looking)

    And you ability to let go, give to the Lord, forgive, your GOOD qualities is what they tried to destroy in us.
    Almost there. Don't loose sight of the goal marker.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  14. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    That is beyond F'd up. Just so others (who might not know) once you have experienced the needle even if someone did it for you, there is no going back. Instant addiction.
    I don't know why I have no clue, but this is something I'm positive there is a scientific explanation for. It is not just a desire for a faster high....
    Something about that needle.
    Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd and Hurt (I recommend Johnny Cashes cover) say it all.
    I wish I had known. I really do.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  15. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I replay my life from as early as I can remember and then I add the information as it comes back and that usually unlocks more but I can only handle so much so fast because man it's a sh*t show.I don't have to look I know where 90 percent of them are and I treat them just like anyone else which is difficult at time's but if I give in to anger and rage I have lost everything and my faith is not negotiable and I have released vengeance to GOD so I am right where I'm supposed to be
    deanokat, Dominica and Joshstillclean like this.
  16. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I forgave him,my entire childhood he was in prison and I wrote him for over 15 year's and told him all I wanted from him was for him to believe in himself the way I believed in him well better late than never he gave me what I wanted from him,he is sober now and staying free,even though I was always there for him he won't even talk to me but that lets me know he finally values himself and the time he has left so ya
    deanokat, Dominica and Joshstillclean like this.
  17. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    I know you know where they are.
    I was telling others not to go looking.
    They might find something they didn't think existed.
    People they didn't know were there.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  18. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    They are blending in with everyone else now,they have to but if people pay attention they will spot the ace of heart's they have up their sleeve then they should be able to see clearly
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  19. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    They have already started dissecting what other's think and are actually slowly swaying their own beliefs and morals.manipulation has got be be their most effective technique, the ability to make people side with them and flawlessly, with very little effort I just pray everyone hears their heart not their mind
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  20. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    So true. And the biggest tool at their disposal we are holding right now..