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SOS this needs to stop

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Sneaky beast 92, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. Hi there i'very been addicted to cocaine for a while now and it's starting to take it's toll I have mental health problems with depression and while coke helps me on the night the come down drives me to the brink of suicide, so that should be enough to go cold turkey right? Well no matter how bad the comedown is and what problems it's causing my family is keep going back to it week after week never learning my lesson plus it's draining my money but it's sodifficult when being on cocaine is the only time I like myself and feel like i'm worth a ****. I know doing drugs is the worst thing for depression but when the short term high's are screaming in your face you don't notice the long term consequences until it's too late I'm just sick of being lonely and I need something else to fill the hole
    lonewolves, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Sneaky beast 92 welcome to the site and im glad your reaching out,thats the first step in recovery,admitting you have a problem.Addiction is a beast that seeks to control everyone in it's path and yes when stuck in a deep depression at times the substance eases the pain temporarily but when it comes back it comes back even worse than before.I have been there for a big part of my life and now i try to share openly and honestly about my struggle as a way to release it and slowly get back my self worth.It is working,here in this community the people are fantastic and are very supportive and encouraging.Here the common goal of improving ourselves is what we all strive for,so please reach out and we will do our best to reach back and help in any way we can.Stay Strong and God Bless
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Sneaky beast 92 hey there! glad you're here reaching out. just wondering if you're able to get to an addiction specialist? therapist? sometimes ya just need some professional help...addiction can be a beast for sure...and getting entirely free can be challenging (as you know).

    so maybe doing something you haven't tried might help. there's also support group meetings, as you probably know. NA or SMART Recovery may be helpful.

    filling that hole...that void... totally understand. one thing that can help is having good connections with people. face to face and even here in the forum. it sucks to live life feeling alone...well, now you don't have to :)

    you are valuable and deserve to live a good life... free from the compulsion to use drugs.... if there's pain festering under the surface (most likely that's a yes).... do whatever it takes to start looking at the pain...start facing it. on your own and with a therapist. read some good personal development books...or books on addiction...spirituality...emotional healing, etc. there's so many good things out there. watch youtube videos on these topics too... it's gonna take effort...that's for sure.

    thus begins your journey OUT of the hell hole of addiction...

    go inward to start finding the "real you" again... and connect with others who will be a good influence on you.

    hope this helps.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Welcome to the community, @Sneaky beast 92. I'm sorry that you're struggling with cocaine addiction, but I'm happy you found this forum and took the time to post. Like @True concern said, you've taken a HUGE first step by coming here and admitting you have a problem.

    Depression can be so overwhelming, and lots of people turn to self-medication in order to relieve it. Believe me: You are not alone. Unfortunately, though, as you already know, the short-term effects of self-medication can exacerbate the depression. Then you get caught in the cycle you're stuck in.

    I'm wondering... Have you ever seen a psychiatrist or therapist? So often, there are root causes deep down inside of us that feed our addiction. If you're able to talk to someone and discover/confront those causes, it may make kicking your coke addiction a bit easier. Just a thought.

    Also, you may want to consider getting some professional help. A detox program could help you get off the cocaine while minimizing the side effects of withdrawal. Would you ever consider going that route?

    Lastly, @Dominica's suggestion of Narcotics Anonymous (NA) or SMART Recovery meetings is a good one. There is also Cocaine Anonymous (CA). You can find meetings in your area for all of those groups at these links:

    NA: https://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

    SMART Recovery: https://www.smartrecoverytest.org/local/

    CA: https://ca.org/meetings/

    FYI, all of those groups also offer online meetings, too, in case those work better for you.

    I know you can beat this addiction, my friend. Will it be easy? Nope. But if you commit to quitting, and are willing to do the hard work required, you can do it. And I guarantee it will be incredibly worth it.

    You ARE worth a ****, too. Always. You may not think so, but it's true.

    We are here to offer up help, support, or just a listening ear. Feel free to use us as part of your support system. You can reach out and lean on us anytime.

    Sending you lots of positive energy, hope, and encouragement.
    True concern likes this.
  5. lonewolves

    lonewolves Senior Contributor

    Welcome to the forum, @Sneaky beast 92. I also have a coke problem, except it doesn’t seem to have any effect on me, which makes my addiction that much more idiotic. I have struggled with crippling anxiety and depression since I was 8 years old, but was told by my family that I was just a dramatic girl, so I started self-medicating with alcohol by 13. I found that even with all the darkness I saw throughout my life, and living through 2 house fires that forced me to start my life from scratch, the most depressed I’ve ever felt was when I decided I didn’t want to die anymore. I had spent so many years thinking that I would kill myself before I turned 25, that when I decided I didn’t want to die anymore, I had no excuse for my destructive life I had lead. The world got a lot scarier for awhile, but it the long run it has only gotten better.

    I was 4 years clean from coke when I relapsed this February. I can’t remember when I stopped again, but I think I’ve been about 2 months clean. I have tried to be kind to myself, and not beat myself up for my mistakes.

    Anyways, this forum has helped me a lot, and I hope you find something that aids you in finding peace.
    deanokat and True concern like this.