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Staying away

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by taylorann, Apr 21, 2016.

  1. taylorann

    taylorann Member

    If you're at a party or other social event with alcohol, how are you able to stay away from it? My friend doesn't drink anymore because she's a recovering alcoholic, and when we go to parties it's always hard for her. So, I wanted to know what some of you did so that I can give her some advice.
  2. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    It is always best to stay focused and not let others influence your decisions. I go out with my husband and his friends most times and they are always taking alcohol. I do not take alcohol anymore and I simply order lemon tea or juice; since everyone is drinking something, I might as well drink mine and get my mind off theirs.

    Your friend should learn to control herself without being tempted to consume alcohol. But if the urge is still there, then she may have to be fully recovered before going for a social event.
  3. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    It's hard to stay away from alcohol when you're in a party, a club or a social event. The best thing to do is to try and stay away from such events especially when you're in the early part of your recovery. Once you've fully recovered and know that you're in full control, you might be able to handle such social events easier. However, there might be times that these social events might be inevitable like office parties or family reunions. You just cannot say "no" to such events, I know I can't.

    She can try staying away from the people who drink alcohol in parties, that's one way of avoiding triggers. She can focus on chatting with the alcohol-free people. She can also try getting out each time the trigger of alcohol is hard to resist. Maybe breathing in some fresh air can calm her down and help he stay focused. Aside from that, she can also opt to help out in the kitchen, at least for a little while so she can avoid alcohol.

    It might be hard from the beginning but it will get easier... Eventually. Another great tip? You can accompany her during these events and keep her mind away from the alcohol. I hope this helps, good luck!
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    @OP if being around people who are drinking will probably make your friend relapse then until she's able to attend a party where there's booze and not be tempted to drink, she should not attend such parties.

    However if your concern is friends will try to get her to drink then all she has to do is tell her friends that she doesn't drink anymore and say "no" each time she's offered a drink even thought it might not be easy.
  5. ejorman1010

    ejorman1010 Senior Contributor

    As a non-alcoholic, it isn't all that difficult for me to avoid drinking. I can just decide to not drink and I won't drink. For an alcoholic, I can imagine it would be extremely hard, depending on the severity of the alcoholism. The best solution is to just avoid those situations altogether.
  6. ejorman1010

    ejorman1010 Senior Contributor

    It is best to avoid it altogether. I had a friend who couldn't even look at a beer bottle without getting a strong urge to drink. If it is impossible to avoid these situations, especially if it is a function you have to attend for work, it is best to have someone on your side at all times to keep you from drinking.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    For me is not as hard as it should be for most recovered alcoholics. I can and do drink a couple drinks once a year, sometimes once in two or 3 years (depending on the social agenda). I definitely will have to take a couple drinks next Christmas, because my in laws will be there. I don't recommend this to anyone because my case is quite unique and I don't expect anyone to be able to stop at 2 or 3 drinks once a year or much less.
  8. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    There is no solution other than not going out until you get your head straight. It sounds hard and it is especially hard if you are used to clubs and night life. I guess that you could help your friend by staying with here sometimes at home. Go for a walk or something. Use your imagination. Clubs and night life is not everything life has to offer and I know that you are aware of that.
  9. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    At this point in my recovery it's not difficult to say no. If people keep pushing the subject, I let them know straight out that I'm a recovering alcoholic -- it has really woken a few people up to how much they pressure people to drink, I think. All I can say from experience is that it takes time. In the early days I think the temptation of seeing others drinking would have been all too much for me. But these days, it's a lot easier to simply say no, mean no, and not feel any urge or desire to partake in drinking myself.
    deanokat likes this.
  10. Acooper79

    Acooper79 Member

    I know from experience that things you associate with drinking or smoking will be hard to get through. When I finally quit smoking and was 100 percent done with it I lost interest in anything that used to be associated with it. Going to bars was an interest best lost. But oddly hanging out working on an old car became less interesting too and that was something I liked. It's not that I just avoid it because he smokes. He comes over and smokes out back sometimes but it just became not as fun. And the sad part is I didn't give up nicotine just smoking. Saturdays with a smoke in hand leaning over a car setting timing or replacing parts etc were more of a chore than fun. I've just dislike social alot of situations without smokes and drinks. No having to avoid them. He calls me a hermit now... I don't know. I know I have to limit the amount of wine I buy usually to prevent me from being a total glutton