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Staying sober amongst a family of addicts

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by SleeplessSister, Aug 21, 2018.

  1. Hi. A little back story, I was addicted to pain killers and benzos for about 4 years and cocaine for a little over a year. Today I stand at 111 days sober. It had been almost easy up until now, when my two drug addicted sisters whom I used to party with made an appearance. They each have children, they each put them in danger daily. I won't go into detail, but I cannot stop worrying about those kids. And since I have expressed my concerns to both of them, I can't even see the kids. So I worry, constantly. I am sick and I am so afraid of a relapse. How do I keep myself clean with all this chaos around me? What helps to stop worrying about active addicts and the innocents caught in their crossfire?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @SleeplessSister... Congrats on your 111 days of sobriety! That's a wonderful thing and I'm super proud of you!

    As far as your sisters go, remember that YOU are the only person you have control over. If your sisters don't want to work on overcoming their addiction, there's not a whole lot you can do. I am, however, concerned about their kids. If you think those kids are indeed in danger, you should consider contacting Child Protective Services. I know that would be a difficult thing, because it would likely mean grief for your sisters. But if those kids can't help themselves, someone has to do it for them. Your sisters are adults, and if they want to continue to do drugs and harm themselves, that's their business. But those kids don't have a choice. They need someone to look out for them.

    We are here to offer you help, support, and encouragement. Keep taking things a day at a time. And keep doing the next right thing.

    Sending you lots of positive energy today.
    Dominica likes this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    Hello there and welcome. Congratulations on your clean time! That truly is remarkable and I'm so proud of you! I'm sure you do worry about your sisters and their children. It would be hard not to! I agree with Dean that if you those children are in danger, then it's best to report them to Social Services. I do know that could be challenging for you. And I do hope that your sisters will let you see their children so that you can be a positive influence in their lives.

    Sometimes when the children are removed from homes where addiction is running rampant, the parents or parents experience enough pain that motivates them to make serious changes. Now I say sometimes because that's not the case all the time.

    Know that we're here for you to support and encourage you however we can. Take care of yourself as best as you can!
    deanokat likes this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Amazing, congratulations on 111 day's sober I am so proud of you @SleeplessSister and the situation your in is a hard one indeed,I am currently in a very similar situation as I am now 7 month's sober and live with a meth addict who still use's.Everyday I watch him rewire brand new electronics, or build a ground based spacestation or whatever he is doing or I watch him sleep in a corner for 7-10 day's at a time and im a recovering addict of everything except sun light so seeing this daily makes me want to drink or do heroin or whatever minus meth that stuff I have zero interest in anymore since I started having flash backs of suppressed memories which are truly traumatizing but anyways how do I not give in?Well I have to look in the mirror every day and I don't want to ever see that person I use to see again, I hated myself while I was using and while I was using I was wanting to die the entire time,I literally chased death at a feverish pace and i thank god im still alive as my family needs me and I need to try my best to help other's who struggle the way I was,you obviously feel something very similar to that as you expressed your main concern is for those children so use that as your strength to stay sober,if ever your on the verge of throwing away your sobriety before you do go in the bathroom, shut the door,look in the mirror and say out loud I chose you substance over those kids!!If that doesn't straighten your head out then nothing will.I also pray alot, I have become very humble and caring to people I don't even know,im grateful for every meal and every breath and im very poor so thank you lord for Top Ramen and unhealthy city air because it's not necessarily my individual life that I value so much rather it's the lives I may have a positive impact on through various means.I am only human and of course I have selfish moments but I try to recognize them when it happens and i do what I can to change it. We all suffer from the same disease this thing called the "human condition"it's a progressive condition that can either change for the better or change for the worst ultimately the decision is ours.Stay Strong and God Bless
    Cametobelieve0202 and deanokat like this.
  5. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    Congrats on 111 days sober! That’s AMAZING! I’m in recovery and I just started to go to Alanon because my future brother in law is an addict. It’s not easy but there needs to be some sort of detachment for our own sake. So we can stay sober. I say the serenity prayer often and it reminds me the only thing I really have control over in this world is myself and my actions. I have no control over other people, places or things. “HP, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”
    True concern and deanokat like this.