An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or


Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by sunflogun, Apr 28, 2015.

  1. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I recall having a friend that used to steal to pay for his addiction. When he was already clean we went out with another friends and one in our group told me, that guy robbed me a few months back. That was a really awkward situation as you can imagine, but they talked about it and he returned him his money, a little like poetic justice.
  2. DCMY

    DCMY Member

    I am glad it ended up poetically just. I do not justify his theft but one thing that must be kept in mind is that people do not act themselves while under addiction. What the guy did was bad but you have to realize that his decision to steal must have been largely affected by the addiction. I hope he went to rehab or quit his addiction. Again I am glad it all worked out :D
  3. RingoBerry

    RingoBerry Senior Contributor

    I'm glad things didn't turn ugly. What are the chances that your friend was going to meet the person he stole from? I hope he learned from that experience.
    DCMY likes this.
  4. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Glad it turned out well for you, and thank you for bringing up this point. Stealing is a crime that many addicts turn to in desperation when they are out of resources to obtain more drugs. We often hear about theft and burglary on the news with the mention of drugs being involved, but rarely is enough time given to the story for viewers to get a sense of the personal tragedy playing out in these events. Hopefully this person realized they were really in trouble and got the help they need to get clean.
  5. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    He did get clean and he was a really nice guy so this only shows how transformed he was to the point where we was stealing people just to get money to drugs, we will do anything to get the drug.
  6. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I do know someone who also used to steal so he could buy drugs. He came from a well off family but he badly wanted to feed his addiction so he would steal anything from a simple watch to even stealing other people's wallets. He used to live with my family because he is a relative and we were not spared from his stealing. Good thing he's a changed man now and he also found an inspiration with his newfound wife.
  7. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Yep, I know several cases like that. A girlfriend I had stole a lot of things from home to sell and she said that no one would notice, so that's how delusional she was...
  8. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Good thing that the person he robbed before did not call a police and just accepted the money.
    There are cases here where caught robbers or snatchers are confirmed addicts. They will do anything just to support their addictions.
  9. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    At least the money was returned. I guess that is all that really matters, in the end.
  10. IrishHeather

    IrishHeather Active Contributor

    Yikes!!!! That could have gone really bad, really fast. So glad it didn't and perhaps both parties learned something that day. I know the desperation that addicts feel to feed their addictions all to well. My brother was addicted to meth really bad at one time. And I had a similar thing happen with him.

    My family and I live way out in the country and have a little mini ranch and farm. When we bought the property it came with a 100 year old grape vine that was super huge and was supported with antique rail ties (huge 8x8 posts). My brother had gotten to a point of desperation that he came onto our property when everyone was gone to work and school and stole the posts to sell for money. He cut down the grape vine in the process. I was so devastated.

    Addicts often lack the emotional ability to see how their actions effect others in the process. This is a horrible side effect of addiction.
  11. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Yeah, could have happened, but fortunately these new friends I was hanging with were really peaceful, so no violence happened. Addicts just care about the next fix, that's the cold reality.
  12. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    My husband was like this as well. He thought that I wouldn't know when something went missing because I wouldn't say anything about it.

    What he didn't know though was that his stealing actually made me hide enough money that I had saved to get a down payment for a car. If you could have seen the look on his face:rolleyes:.
  13. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I can imagine the look on his face... At the same time it has to be extremely complicated to be married with someone with an addiction. Are you still in that situation?
  14. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    No that was several years ago and yes it was very complicated at the time.
    sunflogun likes this.
  15. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    I think I need to clarify. No 'the' situation happened several years ago and we're still married and yes it was very complicated at the time.
    sunflogun likes this.
  16. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Once a person steals me, that would be the end of our relationship. I don't care what they are going through. There's a fine line to friendship, and stealing will break the camels back.
  17. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I'm glad you clarified it because I was about to answer to your first post. So actually your husband got clean and you are living with no major concerns today? That is great and a proof that addiction can be beaten.
    MrsJones likes this.
  18. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    My best friend back when I was 13 (she was 16), had to share her house with a drug addict step-dad. He'd often steal things and she'd get all the blame! What made me so sad about this whole situation, was the fact that her mother believed that guy. Everyone seemed to know he was a drug addict, but the mom was in denial.

    As a result my friend left the house when she was 18, started to drink and do drugs a lot. I could completely understand why she left, after all I also grew up with a crappy step dad! One that also stole to support his gambling.

    Anyways, when she left she engaged in some really dangerous activities, like having unprotected sex with multiple strangers during parties of people she didn't even know! All while being so drunk and high! I'm sure the fact her parents didn't seem to care about her didn't help at all.

    I saw her two years ago, didn't see her earlier because I was in the process to quit my own addictions while she was just starting to use almost on a daily basis. I just didn't want to have contact with her during that time, it might sound awful, but I knew she'd drag me down.

    Sounds awful, but I had no choice but to turn my back on her. Terrible, I know, but I was facing my own struggles with addictions and she wasn't in the same page I was. She just wanted to keep on going... I did try to help her and ask her to get tested for HIV, but she wouldn't listen.
    Last edited: May 12, 2015
  19. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I can't even imagine the nightmare that it was tremmie... And addicted step-dad, it makes me want to to ask what did the mother of your friend was thinking!!
  20. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Oh, that is terrible. Just a while back, one of our friends had a renter at one of his old farm houses and he removed a windmill and sold it. It is remarkable the items some people will resort to stealing in times of despertation. By the way, I am happy to hear your brother is no longer addicted to meth!