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Stop hanging around your old crowd

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by orangesunset, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    It is important to get into a good self help group like AA or SMART. I don't know if smart has activities like dances and stuff. I know most AA groups organize dances. These things are really important to your recovery.

    Some of your old friends might be unhappy that they are losing a drinking buddy so they might tell you that your problem isn't that serious or you are over reacting. Also certain places might be associated with using.

    So it is best of you get a new crowd to hang out with.
  2. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    In my experience, you will have to avoid old friends and places you used to go. You can always make new friends and find new places to g where people do not take substances. This will go a long way to helping you recover.
  3. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    I couldn’t agree more about getting a new crowd to avoid falling back into taking drugs. I remember when I stopped drinking, my brother in law would keep asking me if I was sure that I did not need a drink when we went out for a meal. Today he does not ask because I have been clean for a few years. I am so thankful for this.
  4. bsthebenster

    bsthebenster Community Champion

    In my experience, this is probably the most important step to quitting anything. You're not going to quit if you're surrounded by temptation. And in my case, the type of lifestyle that you and your old friends were living can be the reason you started indulging in your drug of choice to begin with.
  5. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I do agree that you need to find new places to hang out. The thing with some friends is that they tend to say "Go on, one won't hurt", especially if they are looking for an excuse to have a drink themselves. Stick to friends who understand you properly and won't try and put temptation in your path.
  6. 003

    003 Community Champion

    I agree hanging out with good people and building up new crowd that consists of those who stubbornly resist alcohol or harmful and addicting substances will really help to make you sober and stay clean. But whoever your with, at the end, it would just be you. But influence of other people really help, especially that you have the same vibe as they do. Make friends with good people, those who you think will influence positively.
  7. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    I absolutely agree with you about distancing yourself from the old crew or friends. It gets very hard when you are trying to leave a certain habit behind but are still stuck in the company of people who love doing the very thing you are fighting.

    I also have to admit that distancing yourself from people you have known for many years and people you have come to depend on as close friends is very difficult and might demoralize you even further. On top of all that some of these old friends might not be in support of your quest to be clean and end up putting you in uncomfortable guilt trip situations and so forth.

    My suggestion is gradually distancing yourself from any influential factors and being firm about your objectives and what you want in your life. It is a lovely idea to also find new hobbies that can help distract you from what you used to do before you took the steps to quit.
  8. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    This is one of the basics. There is no point in getting our body detoxed if after that we continue hanging out with the same people, we need to change that and if possible even change the city where we live.
  9. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree. Often times the old crowd would even show some hatred towards you trying to better yourself, for one reason or another. Mostly, I think it's because it shines a light on what they are doing and it shatters the illusion for them, and of course sometimes it's just jealousy or an unwillingness to change. Regardless, it's usually much safer to just find a new crowd with the same interests since chances are you are already over the old interested you used to have.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    That certainly is how you'll keep temptations at bay. One must make some sacrifices at times. Letting go of everyone and everything that might hold you back from staying clean will help one get a step further from addiction, the substances they were abusing and whatever might trigger a relapse. Get clean first then come back to help your friends. Don't take the risk though when you aren't strong enough to resist the urge to go back . . .
  11. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Yeah, the getting back part is more tricky because the "friends" might not want to be helped or after we are clean we might see that they were friends only due to convenience.
  12. LitoLawless

    LitoLawless Senior Contributor

    This is really a good strategy that a lot of people seem to overlook. Some people seem to think that some of their friendships aren't based around drugs and it takes getting sober to realize that. Some people like to test the theory by going around that old crowd while others stay away completely.
  13. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    I don't know if people overlook it or simply don't have the capacity to move to another city. This requires that we get another job or know someone willing to take us in, it's not that easy.
  14. angelicagapit

    angelicagapit Active Contributor

    "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are."

    This quote simply means that whoever you hang out with could strongly determine how similar you are to them. The more you hang out with someone, the more in sync your thoughts and actions become. You could be easily influenced by your friends, so avoid hanging out with the ones that don't get you anywhere good in the long run.

    Hang out with positive, hardworking people who have goals.
  15. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Pretty much yes, we end up attracting people with similar interests to ours and doing the same stuff as them, so if they are consuming drugs guess what, we will too.
  16. ThatKidWithTheFace

    ThatKidWithTheFace Active Contributor

    Truer words have never been said! If there's one sure-fire way to slip back into addiction, it's hanging with your old friends.
  17. Tournique

    Tournique Senior Contributor

    I agree that certain individuals can have a bad influence on your problems. In order to better yourself and free yourself from these issues, please avoid the old crowd who can get you back to your addictions.
  18. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Most people are selfish and just want to have a good time or feed the addiction. We should stay away from them as they will not help us, on the contrary.
  19. OhioTom76

    OhioTom76 Senior Contributor

    It's hard to ditch your circle of friends and start anew, but it can certainly be done. I did it about 14 years ago, and it was one of the best decisions I made, because I quickly made a new circle of friends who were much more supportive of me and live healthier lifestyles.

    Prior to that I was clinging to many friends I made while entering my early twenties - we partied a lot together, and in most cases they were co-workers. But in reality, a lot of these individuals were dragging me down. Some if not most of them weren't pursuing any education or career goals, they were just drinking and doing drugs all the time, and showing up to work for a paycheck. I was trying to get through college with the hopes of getting into a more lucrative career and getting settled down - but it often felt like an uphill battle when I was hanging around them all so much. It's as if many of them were spiteful towards me or anyone for that matter for trying to make something of themselves while they were doing nothing with themselves. It was sort of a misery loves company situation.

    I quit the low paying restaurant jobs, and all the partying afterwards that came with it - and focused on finishing up my degree and got a job in an office environment instead which lead to my first salaried position doing web development and search engine marketing a couple years later.

    I've since re-connected with some of these old friends many years later, but I only hang out with them once in a blue moon, and don't put up with any of their back handed comments or attempts to try and bring me down - I'm aware at what they are trying to do with me, and why, and I don't let them get to me. Success and health are the best revenge.
  20. RingoBerry

    RingoBerry Senior Contributor

    Yea I mean, the old crown with all their old habits its never a good thing for a recovering person. When I first quit smoking and drinking, I decided not to see my old buds again but I do bump into them from time to time. Two of them already died from alcohol abuse in the last 5 years I haven't seen them. I was lucky to get out when I used to drink and smoke much more than those two did. Perhaps one day when you're all sober, you can try to help out your old pals to sober up too. That would be a great ending for everyone.