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Struggling to stay clean again :(

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Nicky, Mar 14, 2016.

  1. Nicky

    Nicky Member

    13 years have past already when I met drugs I am a 26 year old bored with my life... I was searching the internet to meet other recovering addicts.. ive tried I think everything to stay clean and im scared thatvim not going to make it... ive beeen 15 mnths and 18 mnths and relapsed... now its hard a lot :(
    bhu and TheWife like this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Nicky... Welcome to the community, my friend. By coming here you've shown us that you truly want to get and stay clean, and that's a big step. We're glad you're here. If you've previously gone 15 and 18 months before relapsing, that should show you that you can be clean for an extended period of time. So I firmly believe that you can get clean again...and stay clean.

    Are you involved in any kind of support program, like AA, NA, or SMART Recovery? If not, maybe that would be a good idea. The fellowship and camaraderie found in those groups can be a valuable part of your support system. Also, what about counseling? Having regular therapy sessions can definitely help keep people on track when they're in recovery.

    Being clean and sober is hard work, and the work has to keep happening. If someone gets clean and begins to get complacent, the temptations of addiction can eventually creep back into their life. You've gotta keep working.

    My advice to you would be to never give up. You've had some long stretches of sobriety, so I know you can put together another even longer one. If you mix willingness and hope enough times, long-term sobriety can and does happen. You've just gotta keep doing the next right thing.

    Know that we are here to help and support you however we can. Feel free to reach out anytime you need or want to.

    Sending you positive, sober vibes.
    bhu, gracer, MrsJones and 1 other person like this.
  3. philthegoat

    philthegoat Active Contributor

    Welcome to the forums fellow humanoid. You have shown that you do want to stay clean by actually coming to this forum. Just keep believing in yourself and just keep a positive mind about it all and you will make it through. One of the biggest pieces of advice I was given, is to find a hobby or something to keep your mind off of everything. I wish you good luck in your journey. Have a splendid day.
    MrsJones and TheWife like this.
  4. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I think you @Nicky should get a hobby since you say you are bored; from what I know, drugs won't make life more interesting for you. You are on the right path now; you need excitement, things to look forward to, projects to take on, things to create. Do more research, rather than thinking of the past. The future is here and now. You are clean, please stay that way.
    MrsJones likes this.
  5. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. We all meet these terrible situations in some way or another. It is a terrible feeling when you feel as if you cannot go on, but you must remember how far you've already come. If you can get through fifteen months, can you imagine getting through the next week? Keep in mind what you've already accomplished and let that inspire you. I hope this helps.
    MrsJones likes this.
  6. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @Nicky, welcome. I'm glad you were able to find this group of amazing people to share with and guess what, you have just become one of us! Yea! As long as you continue to stay here you will find out that there is so much to look forward to on your journey in recovery. I've read lots of good directions thus far and there is even more once you visit other forums. I myself use to limit which discussions I visit but took the chance and found interesting discussions going on those I could join in and others just to see what was being said.

    Anyway, you shouldn't be bored. Stay with us I'm sure there will be subjects that will spark an interest to you. Keep your head up!
    gracer likes this.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Hi and welcome to the forum. Thank you for opening up to us. That is a big step and there are so many people here who will be supportive and helpful in anyway that you need. I agree that you should find a hobby. That that you enjoy doing so that you don't feel bored.
    MrsJones likes this.
  8. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Hi @Nicky! I'm really glad you were able to find this forum and thank you for trusting us with your story. This community is a place where you can open up just about everything and people will listen to you without prejudice. In your failures, we will be here to support and encourage you, and in your success we will still be here to cheer for you and wish you more success.

    I believe that you have the longing and will power to seek permanent sobriety. You might be facing difficulties right now and you feel like you can't make it through but I ask you now to keep holding on to even the tiniest thread of hope that you see. Finding this forum alone is a sign for you to not give up on your search for a sober life.

    No matter how many times you fall or slip along the way, it doesn't mean that it is the end of your journey. Consider these things as the road blocks that you have to face and overcome to make you a stronger person. Stay on your path and never let these bad circumstances put your spirit down.

    I wish you well and just feel free to come back to us and share your struggles with us. We will be here to assist you in your journey to sobriety.
    deanokat and MrsJones like this.
  9. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    I hope you can find some friends who are sober that live near you that have been where you are. You need to hang out with people who can relate but keep you on the straight and narrow.
    deanokat likes this.
  10. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    Hello @Nicky and welcome to this forum! I am glad that you had made it to be clean for 15 and 18 months and it is a great achievement already. Just continue to have that positive motivation to be clean and sober and you can never go wrong with your life again. In our life we have to face whatever struggles that will come our way and it is not a reason for us to give up to what we are going through because life has still many things to offer to us. Don't get bored for life is beautiful. You can spend your time with your family and friends who will give you inspiration and they will lead you to the right path of life. You can engage yourself to any kind of hobby or sport that will interest you. And lastly strengthen your spiritual growth and keep on praying and God will give you his mercy and blessings. Good luck!
    deanokat likes this.
  11. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    It's not so much how many times you fall Nicky, but it has everything to do with how many times you get up. Focus on the times you were able to stay clean and with determination and whatever else is required you will finally be completely free of addiction. I am glad you found us and as you journey around the forum you will see that you are not alone. One thing is certain. You will find support here and we will encourage you to never give up in your fight knowing the fight can be won. Welcome to your new home of friends and family.
    achexx84 and deanokat like this.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Nicky... How are you doing today? Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.
  13. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I hope you are doing better, @Nicky Please don't lose hope, there is always hope as long as we are alive. You need to stay positive and only focus on that, even the smallest positive changes, take it from there and keep building it up. Just stay positive and you shall be fine, big changes take place with small ones... day after day. That is how it happens. DOn't forget we believe in you and that you can come here talk to us when you need it :) We are here to support you.
  14. rajesh

    rajesh Senior Contributor

    First of all, I welcome you to the forum. You need to know that you can live a happy and energized life again you don't relapse again. I know that it's hard to control the urge but you can do it. I recommend you many success stories that you can read on the Internet. There are many people who are living a healthy and happy life again by preventing the relapse cycle. You can do it too. Good Luck.
  15. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    I want to say welcome and that I am sorry you're struggling. I know that you want to be clean or else you wouldn't use the word struggling, nor would you have sought out this wonderful forum. I applaud you for taking the step that you have toward your recovery. I know you will find it again. Just be vigilante and keep on looking for support. This place is a fantastic support system for addicts and their loved ones too. Also, if you aren't already, I suggest you get into support meetings..whether it is Alcoholics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Narcotics Anonymous, or whatever other ones are out there. I know you can do this. Keep your head up!
  16. Belovedad

    Belovedad Active Contributor

    Whenever you are struggling, just remember the main reason why you decided to get clean in the first place. Always revert to that thought and it will help to prevent you from entering relapse.
    achexx84 and aimeep80 like this.
  17. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Hey, @Nicky... Let us know how things are going with you. We truly care.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  18. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

  19. Belovedad

    Belovedad Active Contributor

    What's your reason for trying to go clean? Must be a reason, right? If you are bored with life, find something that you like to do that is safe. Use it to keep your mind occupied. Something you can devote your life to like a sport or using a talent of yours. If your only relapse cause is you being bored or having no purpose in life, then give it one and I'm confident your situation will improve.
  20. bhu

    bhu Active Contributor

    Hey @Nicky, hello and welcome! You are an amazing person to make your previous stretches of sobriety happen, and I know you can make it click this time. I highly recommend locating a support group, particularly the 12 Step ones are good. Try the 90 Day Challenge: make ninety meetings in ninety days. That's it. Start from there. If you need them, AA usually has hourly meetings around the clock, so you never have to be alone or bored. The choice is yours in every present moment. Take @deanokat's advice: Take it one day at a time and Do the next right thing.