An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Struggling with sobriety

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Toby, Mar 9, 2019.

  1. Toby

    Toby Member

    I have recently got sober (90 days on Tuesday). But it seams the further into sobriety i get, the worse my mental health gets. I have had trouble with alcohol since i was 13 and then drugs form being 15ish. Mainly coke. I am now 20.

    I have had to move cities and change a lot in my life to make this work. And am currently living with a family member. It feels like this is the only thing keeping me sober. My cravings are getting worse not better. My anxiety, depression and whatever else i have got are flooding my head. I am struggling with any socail situation or just generally how to interact with people while being sober. But my brain is just waiting for a time to relapse. Like a constant timer in my head and don't when its going to go off.

    Nervous coming up to 90 days and don't wanna **** up. Seams the more the time sober the more pressure there is not to use.

    This normal? Or anyone relate?
    get better likes this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Toby hello and welcome! congrats on almost 90 days! that's fantastic! yes, i do believe that much of that is normal. I've heard people talk about when they are coming up on a sobriety anniversary, they kinda get a bit cray-cray at times. the cravings, emotions, etc. it's during that time that they would hit more meetings or reach out to a therapist.

    addiction specialists will tell you that b/c you started drinking when you were young... the age you started drinking/drugging.. is when you started thwarting your emotional growth... rather than face feelings, you numbed them out... suppressed them. but those emotions are still there, inside...festering, and well, once sober, they'll come back asking for you to face them..... and you might not be aware of it, so you're feeling these feelings and freaking out, not knowing how to face and deal with them.... thus, this is an opportunity to start "doing the work" of healing emotionally....

    some people benefit from working the 12 step program... getting a sponsor and working the steps. these steps can help you when it comes to emotions and life in general, and of course, stay sober.

    if you are able to begin seeing a therapist, this can really help too. and maybe embarking on a self-help, emotional healing journey. the thing is, it's gonna take some effort; some work. but this is part of life's journey, you see.... we come, we grow up and pick up these faulty coping mechanisms, experience pain, trauma, etc.... and then we have the opportunity to work on changing, healing, overcoming.... but many opt to stay asleep or drink or ignore, etc..

    you're so young. create a good life for yourself... there are many paths to healing, freedom, etc. discover yours. try different paths... see what resonates. educate yourself. do the work!

    and know we are here. we believe in you and want the best for you. let us older folks steer you in a better direction, because you know what? we've been where you are... and i think we can offer some good advice and believe the best for you...
    deanokat likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Toby... Big congrats on your (almost) 90 days of sobriety. That is incredibly badass and you should be proud of yourself. The fact that you've had to move and change a lot in your life to make your sobriety work shows me that you are serious about your recovery. That's awesome.

    As far as your mental health goes... Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist? If not, I highly recommend that you find one and talk to them about your issues. Mental health issues and addiction very frequently go hand-in-hand, and if you don't treat both problems your recovery can be derailed. If you get your mental health situation stabilized, I think maintaining your sobriety will be much easier.

    I also recommend going to AA or SMART Recovery meetings. Being amongst others who know exactly what you are going through and feeling can be super helpful and comforting. Those folks can probably help you get more comfortable with living sober, too.

    We're always here for you, my friend. @Dominica is right: You're so young and you have so much life ahead of you. So why not work hard at making that life the best it can be? Please come back here anytime you need help, support, or encouragement. We care!
    Dominica likes this.
  4. It's not possible to provide support here without going into detail to the predetermining factors of your mental health. However, the simplest advise for you to contemplate is to just live a fulfilling life in terms of mental and physical health etc etc etc and the need of drink will dissipate.
    Dominica likes this.