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Stuck

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Rella, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. Rella

    Rella Member

    I do not know what is wrong with me and why I cannot stop drinking . I am not physically addicted like I don't get the shakes or anything like that yet. But my drinking has increased a drink at night by myself lately it's a 12 pack every night which is completely ridiculous in my opinion. My husband works out of town so he's been gone for a month and I have found that when he's not here my drinking is just out-of-control. I don't know if I'm an alcoholic I feel like I am because I feel so trapped in that I don't want to drink and then I still drive to the store and buy beer and drink it. I would love to go to aa meetings but I cannot do that at this point in time. My drinking is really a secret it's not something that my family friends or even my husband is aware of at this point. I am sorry for the long post I just wanted to talk about it because I think that that is why I'm so out of control is that this is a secret that I can't share . Tonight will be the first night I haven't drank in quite a while and I am just praying to God that I can stay sober I want to stay sober forever I don't want to drink anymore it's not fun it's just a mess and I know it's going to ruin my life if I keep on doing it I know it . Thank you for listening
  2. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    hey I feel the same way. I am trapped and I have no self control. I recently just went through a very bad experience and my friend felt he needed to call the police because I was fighting with my brother to give my bottle of whisky back. (which he took away from me because he felt I was too drunk and shouldn't be drinking anymore). Worse part about it is I still blamed them for not letting me just have my bottle back. they were trying to help me and I became physical and broke a door. I feel so ashamed. today is the first day of my sobriety. I have had enough I do not want to drink anymore. drinking has ruined so many relationships of mine and I can not keep this going anymore. I'm glad you shared on here and i hope we both find the support we are searching for.
  3. Rella

    Rella Member

    Phantomlight thanks for sharing and for the support . Well it's a good thing you just broke a door Since that is something that can be fixed. Honestly it sounds like if this incident can help you stop drinking then it may be a blessing in disguise . My drinking is very uneventful which just as bad because there's no consequences you know I just end up getting completely hammered by myself in the middle of the night sitting in my house. It's just such a nonsense stupid cycle I hate it and I just want to break free from it I don't even understand it feel free to message me anytime I am hoping to find some contacts in sobriety because I think it's important for staying sober and I really need sobriety.
    phantomlight likes this.
  4. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    yeah I hear you, I really need sobriety too. I usually have no consequences either and i used to drink at home like that by myself all the time as well. but it's usually only a matter of time for me before something like this happens again. and it gets worse every time. I do not know how many more times I am going to be able to be lucky enough to be able to walk away. alcohol can ruin lives. and it is ruining mine. another problem is, is that it is everywhereeeeeee. it is so entangled within our culture and possibly one of the most dangerous thing for some people. I am finally come to realize it is not for me at all and this is after spending more than a decade drinking and reckless behavior.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Rella... You can find AA or SMART Recovery (12-step alternative) meetings online. Virtual meetings can be great for people who can't get to meetings in person for one reason or another.

    @phantomlight... I replied to your post in another thread, so please look for my comment.

    I know both of you can find sobriety if you commit to it and are willing to work hard. Quitting alcohol isn't easy...but it is incredibly worth it.

    Sending you both lots of positive, sober vibes...and even more hope and encouragement.
  6. Rella

    Rella Member

    Thank you deanokat

    I have 24 hours now and i'm trying to be really proactive about taking steps to change and what I've read on other post I re late a lot to the pink cloud problem where I can get a few days or a week and then I start over because I forget that I have actual problem So I marking on the calendar and keeping track of my sobriety and posting online and I'm trying to somehow get to meetings get a sponsor I got a bunch of herbal tea just change my habits up by stop drinking coffee I'm just trying to do things where it's on my mind and fresh in my mind so I don't slip up and have to start all over again thank you for listening
    deanokat likes this.
  7. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    hey rella that is my strategy too because i always end up forgetting i have a problem. I'm going to be posting everyday just keep it in my head that i really need to focus on sobriety.
    deanokat likes this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Rella... Congrats on your first day. I'm super proud of you. Keep taking things a day at a time. You got this.
  9. Squattro68

    Squattro68 Member



    Rella, it's very common to turn to alcohol when you're on your own for long periods... Been there, done that!
    If you have young kids, which you haven't mentioned, I would sincerely suggest you hold back on the drink where possible...
    When hubby's home, make a night of it..., take a drink and have fun

    I know what it's like to rear young kids on my own and it was the most stressful but also the most enjoyable aspect of my life! My boys are my world and they are both 21 and 19 at present.
    Make time for yourself at night to have a 'bubble bath', complete relaxation and make sure your bedroom is conducive to sleep (not too hot/ cold!)
    Have everything left ready for next day whether it be breakfast/ clothes etc.
    Also are there any work issues that are causing you anxiety from facing them in the am???
    Sit down and look at all aspects of your current life and write down the positives and negatives!
  10. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Rella... How are things going, my friend? Check in with us if you get a chance.
  11. Rella

    Rella Member

    Good morning deanokat

    Thanks for asking I drank last night. Not proud of it but starting all over again today. I'm quitting smoking cigs at the same time I got to the end of the third day and just cracked. But I'm starting new today again. Aaaahhhh so frustrating.
  12. Rella

    Rella Member

    Squattro68

    Good morning. No children no work anxiety thank you though for the kind advice. I love my life really that's my puzzle.
  13. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    hey rella I don't know about you. but for me I know I get urges to drink when i get really bored of life. I just get so tired of the tedious mundane things i do during the day. In the winter it's worse because I can't even go biking or hiking. I find it difficult to find excitment in life at times :/
  14. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    Also maybe its best to quit one at a time. I know for da*m sure I can't quit cigs at the same time as alcohol. lol.
  15. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I appreciate your honest, @Rella. And don't get down on yourself for drinking, okay? Slipping up is part of recovery. Just pick yourself up and start again. Also, @phantomlight has a good point: It might be better to quit one thing at a time. Sometimes trying to quit multiple substances at once can freak your body out.

    By the way, here's a video I made a while back. It might help you.