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SUBOXONE - it will slowly destroy someone if used for years

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Distraught Sister, Dec 25, 2019.

  1. Distraught Sister

    Distraught Sister Active Contributor

    Hello everyone , hope you all had a good new year .

    Its now 13 days later after the Christmas day bust up - myself and my close family have discussed everything in great depth - we decided to arrange a meeting with a doctor which has taken place a few days ago , not my brothers doctor but one we asked to get some information for us .

    This Doctor put us in touch with someone who is more experienced in Opioid addiction who is also a now recently retired chemist who has much experience with Suboxone.

    Having spoken with the chemist / doctor on the subject of what my brother is doing i.e drinking on a daily basis of 3 pints of beer after taking his suboxone every morning , we came came to the conclusion that he is doing nothing more but willingly getting high everyday as suspected and trying to nullify the effects of aspects of the suboxone detox treatment.

    This morning all of us sat down with my brother to provide him will all the information we sourced with regards to the dangers of what he is doing and the effects its having on everyone - tears flowed from everyone and you can imagine the scenes . We ended up giving him an ultimatum - either stop drinking alcohol everyday over the next three weeks or we do the following

    1. Move all of his stuff out of our mothers apartment and all of us to effectively cut him off in every way.

    His response was deafening , not a word just tears .

    He has been at our mothers all afternoon and for the first time in years he has not gone walkabout searching for his alcohol induced heroin high. Its early days so we'll just have to wait and see.

    We have all come to a consensus that enough is enough - If he wants to get high everyday then let him do that ....but he isn't going to do that in any of our homes or anywhere near our children . I actually wanted to send a letter to his doctor and the clinic he visits if he is still drinking by the end of the month ..... but i was outvoted by the rest of the family yesterday.

    I still think that letting his clinic/doctor be aware is the right thing to do if by the end of the month if he is still drinking - but i will abide by my family's wishes.

    We are all going to get on with our lives - he has drained too much energy from us in the last 10 years and it stops this month.

    He has some important choices in the next few weeks

    Thanks again everyone for all your help over the Christmas period you dont know how much it means to me with regards to you guys just being there over those days , i was in a total mess and ten years of heartache just came out that day.

    Joshstillclean , DoxyMom , Onceaddicted77 , True concern , cheffy - thanks from me and my whole family xxxxx
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2020
  2. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    I'm glad to hear you have a plan in place I wish you and your family the best. I'm glad we could give you some knowledge and insight to help with your situation. It sounds like you guys are doing the right thing, your brother needs to be held accountable for his actions or he will never change. :)
  3. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    I did the same thing. He can change. Don't give up. But he may need a kick in the butt over the next few weeks.
    And the biggest of all...continued love.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  4. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    You know, let me do,so.etching very few people actually do here. Its so easy to fudge a little,here and there online...
    Here's what im,doing as I typo this.
    Sitting in,my 4 runner shotgun in lap,barrel out the window waiting on whatever's been getting my coupe.
    Cows too!
    But, im,bored. I drift off into my thoughts...
    Get high, pass the night..., eat a fentanyl patch...
    Heck, at least get some Molly to make it through. This sandwich is cold and no,good.
    Pot would,fix that...
    Please know how deeply he hurts and wants to,me free.
    Don't you know,after this long I wanna be free? Yet honestly, I was thinking this. I want extacy.
    Gotta say never. If I had given,in to,H id be dead.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  5. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Distraught Sister the plan sounds fantastic! If it works great, if not, your family is doing what alanon tells you to do. Let go with love. If you have to drop him out of your life and he finds out what that is like, he may get help and you can welcome him back. We are always here for any help you need. I'm thankful that your new year will be just that, a new year.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  6. Distraught Sister

    Distraught Sister Active Contributor

    Hi everyone,

    He chucked it back in our faces just two days after we discussed everything. Hasn't stopped drinking on a daily basis and continues to scrounge his alcohol money from my mother.

    I just cant forgive him for what he is doing to his own mother and the rest of the family . He is making a conscious decision to lie to and deceive everyone around him and have not any thought or care to those who love him.

    When i think back i.e all those years of him taking Heroin and now his Alcohol/Suboxone mix , it clearly has an effect of a pair of blinkers - he sees nothing around him and cares for no one - he just sees everyone as a tool , a resource , to allow him to live his everyday high. Anyone who questions his behaviour is the enemy and needs to be treated as such ...even his own family.

    He has convinced my mother that he is just having a few drinks everyday to be sociable and not to get high , even in front of all the evidence - she is refusing to kick him out and will just put up with his behaviour.

    Me and my siblings have now cut him off completely - we have accepted his actions since that day we discussed everything , we really thought he was going to make an effort but in reality his drug fueled selfish nature was never going to change. We are resigned to the fact that he is a lost cause and needs to be treated as such.

    I just cant see why he doesn't care about us or even try to make an effort - after all we have done to support him and how he ignores the suffering its causing his family.

    So to stop this suffering its now fairly easy for me and my siblings to cut him off- we have no choice for our own well being - from an outside perspective that might sound unreasonable or without any compassion but its just been so long , it has literally drained us and we need to forget him.

    You hear of stories in families where they split up and cut each other off - i am always of the belief that families should stick together and me and my other siblings have tried our very best to make sure that happens over the last ten years . We dont want to cut him off but his behaviour is effecting our lives to the point where we get so upset , but there comes a time when the decisions have to be made , he has made this decision to continue that suffering so we just have to walk away .
  7. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    You are doing the right thing. I wish your mother would do the same but it is hard for a parent to do that so instead she will kill him with love. By enabling him that is what she is doing. The rest of you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry it turned out this way but he's an addict and that is more important to him than anything even family.
  8. Distraught Sister

    Distraught Sister Active Contributor

    Thanks Doxy ,

    You are right , Our mother is causing him harm by her own love for her son . But he is causing her harm with malicious intent through his selfishness - I cant forgive that as his motive is all about himself .

    Our mother complains about him all the time , but at the same time doesn't do anything - She sits in her home worrying herself sick if he gets into another fight or goes back on the heroine , its almost like he is emotionally blackmailing her.

    We all turned up to pick up his stuff and drop it off at the bar he goes to but she stopped us at the last minute . We have had professionals and experienced people explain to us the effect of him drinking alcohol with the suboxone and that its causing him mental issues ......but she is just ignoring it to the point of defending him and saying " what can i do ", " he doesn't drink much " - but at the same time she ends up calling us at all hours saying i cant handle this anymore .

    When i think back i do believe we have been too soft with him - plus we didn't really understand what he was doing with Suboxone and why he was wanting to drink everyday - I wish i had come onto this forum a good five years ago.

    Oh well, time to move on .
    DoxyMom likes this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Sometimes there are no other choices to make,still yet I'm sorry to hear it.Stay Strong
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  10. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    Never say never....
    Is there a way to cut off his alcohol supply for a day or two? That will get him thinking. Have you threatened to send that letter? I REALLY WAS CRAZY DRINK AND ON SUBS! I'm grateful someone intervened. It could have caused me permanently damaged brain!
    But I'm all good now, wow it really did make me nuts! Not the subs, they probably saved my life at first...the two together. If you can cut him off from one or the other for a day or 2 and you said he can't get dope anymore....he'll listen.
    That I know.
    He'll be so fast to listen you'll have to make it clear there is no going back. One or the other. If he has no money for dope he will pick subs. No money for alcohol, problem solved.
  11. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    Tell your Mom she's made her choice now she doesn't get to complain to you. If she hates it so much she can do what you are doing and cut him off. She can't have it both ways.
    True concern likes this.
  12. avalon_star

    avalon_star Member

    Indeed, the influence of drugs negatively affects a person's life and all members of her family. There are many cases where drug use has resulted in death, and if you can start treatment it is best to do so right away. I cannot hide the fact that I use chemicals, but I do not consider myself a victim. I use winstrol stanozolol, a powerful anabolic steroid, which helps me in preparing for the competition. I try to do my best to become a champion. Some people think that this is not right, but I myself decide what to do with my life.
    duremars likes this.
  13. duremars

    duremars Member

    Could you tell me some more information about it? Let’s talk in PM