Yes, one day I really was near to commiting suicide, really really near. The only thing that was really holding me back was the fear of pain and the thought of my family and friends. I was alone at home and it was a dull morning. I was so desperate about my situation that I went to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife. Then I came back to my room and started cutting with the knife, I felt some sort of a relief. I calmed down a bit and let go off my emotions. It helped, but for a moment. Later I wanted to slit my wrists... I wanted to let go off everything and seek for a better life, but yeah that's really what held me back of doing it. ;/ I feel much better now, I released that suicide is the easy way out of your situation. I appreciate life a little bit more, and in the later future I want to do everything to be happy. It's a long journey, but worth discovery. We must remember that we are not alone in this whole world. It was very hard for me to motivate myself to start appreciating life because I was just sick of it. I founded living as something pointless because nothing was making me enjoy life and everything felt so monotonous, so colourless, blank, but guys I'm still here. I try to explore the mysteries of life, and I'm happy that I didn't do that the other day because I would consider myself as a complete loser. This experience changed my outlook on life, it really did. It made me a way stronger person, and I don't worry about worthless "problems" now like I used to do. I try to enjoy every moment of my life. I'm an atheist, so again it was harder for me than for a believing person. Well, let my story come to an end. I hope that it will inspire somebody that is struggling like I was, and inspire them to do much to again fully enjoy life.