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Support is hard to find

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by nonsiccus, Jan 14, 2015.

  1. nonsiccus

    nonsiccus Member


    I've been in the ongoing process of quitting smoking and recreational drug use for the past several years after leaving university. It has been difficult as many of the environments I'm in (work and friends) are very dangerous in regards to relapse.

    It has been difficult to separate my social life from my addictions but I feel that I am making progress. I'm hoping that this community will help keep me clean for the rest of my life.
  2. Anonymous

    Anonymous Active Contributor

    If your social life is what keeps you attached to a vice, then you should cut it off, by that I mean let those "friends" and start a life without them, or maybe if they are really good friends they would understand that you don't want to keep living like that, but if them offer you drugs after that, that only means they are not truly friends, also, if you think that your current work is influencing you on using them (because hard work gets you very tired and people usually thinks that drugs are the only way of feeling relaxed), you should also consider looking for a new job a more easily one, or with more free time: sometimes we are more afraid of loneliness than to quitting our addictions, I talk from my own personal experience, maybe if you let all that people that influences you, your life could improve a lot, sometimes fear is what maintain us on this kind of mistakes, just think about it.

    Regards and good luck
  3. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    It's clear you have great intentions and from where I sit that's a great start. I believe you have come to an environment that is going to be quite helpful to you. Keep posting and I am always promoting the Resource section in the forum. There are lots great suggestions and tips to assist there.
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2015
    MrsJones likes this.
  4. sklauda1

    sklauda1 Member

    What she said. You HAVE to cut that stuff out of your life. No smoking or doing drugs around you, you are in recovery! You will find new friends who are supportive of you quitting. Who knows? If you put your foot down about the drugs around you, maybe a true friend would rather have your companionship than do drugs around you. Not saying they will stop, but stop around you.

    The job situation I do not know if that can be helped easily. Jobs are too hard to find these days, but maybe talk to your boss if he/she isn't a jerk. You might also want to take a small vacation if you can.
  5. Anonymous

    Anonymous Active Contributor

    The best people should do is to avoid that kind of friendships, if they use drugs around you, or support you for using them, that means they are a obstacle in your recovery and because of that, is better to stay off them definitely.

    About the job, if the vacation is to relieve stress yeah, it may be a good option, but if by example those friends are co-workers too, then stopping friendship with them, or start looking for another job, before letting this one obviously.
  6. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    You don't really have to get away from people who do drugs, because eventually you will meet people in the world who are using drugs and the only thing you can do is walk away. The fastest but most enduring way to get over drug addiction(s) is to find a new hobby to occupy your time and resolve to make it a habit that will benefit you end goal in life! People relapse because they're path to staying sober was not strong in their hearts or emotions, most will rationally believe they can overcome the temptations of drugs but this will fail in the end because people forgot to strengthen their emotional accounts.

    Support is something to find, it's something to create and build, because if you're always finding something out there, you will never be content even after finding it because that act to search for external help will become the new habit and possibly an addiction.
    JonMark likes this.
  7. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Tanks for sharing your story and experience with us. The attitude of university living is definitely a hard one to shake off but I'm guessing that with age it will get easier. Just try and not be too hard on yourself as that would only perpetuate the cycle even more. Thankfully you have found this great forum to get some support and I hope you do find it here. Good luck!
  8. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi nonsiccus. Congratulations for the progress that you've made in keeping yourself clean! You said that you were successful in separating your social life from your addiction. That's good because the struggles of withdrawing from friends can be really hard. How are you doing it? Carry on at that as it works well for you. I won't tell you to influence them to be clean as well since you mentioned that it is a very dangerous situation for a relapse. At least you know what you are capable of doing and not doing at this time. That's really a sound starting point for you to continue making progress.

    Journal your activities, feelings and techniques that help you stay clean. This way, you can always refer to them when you feel down or just about to give up on your efforts. Always decide to be clean. You can do it!
    JonMark likes this.
  9. Tournique

    Tournique Senior Contributor

    Welcome and congratulations on your progress so far. We will always be here to support you but we cannot make decisions for you. You did a good job for yourself staying away from those and not wanting to relapse.
  10. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi nonsiccus, I commend you on your journey in recovery. We look forward to hearing more of your experiences that you've handled thus far as you have mentioned. This forum is here to keep things real for guests and members alike. Thank you for sharing.
  11. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    We are always here! This forum has members from all around the world so there is always someone else who is awake and ready to talk. Hopefully, things will become less of a struggle as you become clearer about what you want out of life.
  12. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Hello Nonsiccus! It's a tall order but I'm not the only one here hoping that you make it through. You see, there's no secret to a fast recovery. Aside from having enough motivation and determination, the right support system behind you can make a difference in your journey toward turning your life around.
    JonMark likes this.
  13. JonMark

    JonMark Active Contributor

    I agree with some on this thread who say you're starting off well. That's true. If you're fairly newly released from the university than you're perhaps gradually leaving your adolescence behind where the smoking and the drug use will follow. As I said, you're already leaving all of that behind. I used to smoke tons and in hindsight couldn't imagine that I would ever quit, but I can't stand cigarette smoke these days and realistically, drugs are too expensive a habit to commit to. I guess I'm a practical addict.
  14. goldenmaine

    goldenmaine Active Contributor

    We usually depend on family and friends for support but what if they are not available or have already judged us. This is very difficult especially for people who are recovering since they need all the moral support that they can get. That is why there these communities online that we can help each other and share our thoughts for a good cause. Let us continue talking about anything related to recovering and just try to help one another.
  15. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    You shouldn't mimic other people's vices. You know very well that these habits are going to haunt you anywhere you go. This is where most wannabe quitters fold - once they see someone smoke or drink or take drugs in front of them, they get this intense feeling that they shouldn't have tried quitting in the first place. If you're able to go past that stage, the rest is just a formality. And of course, you'll find a great deal of support here as well, I guarantee it.
  16. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    When you're trying to quit a bad habit, it's very hard to be around people who have the same vice as you do. A person really has to want to stop doing what they are doing, and part of that really wanting to stop is coming to terms with the fact that you can't be with the same people that you used to be with.

    Things might be challenging in a work environment, because one falls into a pattern or habit of smoking when on break, or at lunch. But if you really want to quit, you have to get tough with yourself, because giving up cigarettes is a fight.
  17. jon

    jon Active Contributor

    Try and get yourself into a better situation. And make up your mind that you are not going to do drugs.
  18. froggy666

    froggy666 Member

    I really agree that helps hard to find. I managed to get lucky in that one of my University professors noticed I had a problem and that I should get help. It was them that recommended I go to the University's Psychologist. It took weeks of missed appointments before I finally just sucked it up and went. I've been seeing them twice a week for half a year now and I've went from drinking daily to maybe one or two a week. If i'm with good friends. But I can't advocate enough just how much talking about it helped. Just saying I have a problem seemed to take a weight off my chest.
  19. TommyVercetti

    TommyVercetti Community Champion

    It's extremely difficult but you have to make the decision to cut out all your bad influences and stick to those who support your will to change. Adult social lives can still have as much peer pressure as when you were in highschool. Find friends tat are supportive or go to support groups to find like-minded individuals. It will be easier that way.
  20. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Very true. I think it's very sad when your family isn't equipped to communicate with you in a civil and non judgmental way, but thankfully nowadays we already have forums like these where you can actually hear from other people and possibly have a better chance at realizing that sometimes families can't or don't support you the way you need to.