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Teen "experimentation"

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by LostmySis, Dec 10, 2014.

  1. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    It's always such a sad thing when you lose a love one. I can only imagine how much more devastating it is when we think, that the outcome would have been different had there been intervention.

    I hope that with time LostmySis, can reach a place of forgiveness with his mother and allow a healing to take place. Sometimes as parents we are "ignorant" as to how to deal with our children when problems arise. It's no excuse, but it is a fact. Sometimes we need just as much help parenting as our kids need dealing with life and it's pressures.
  2. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think some parents may, get worried about the person rebelling against them and think ignoring the issue will just go away and act like they okay with it. Drug experimentation, can never be good as in early stages may be fun but will soon get a habit and resort to stealing to fuel the habit. The first time, should say no, as your health and well being is important and using drugs is not a good way to live.
    Nick W. likes this.
  3. downsouth

    downsouth Active Contributor

    Very true. In simpler context basically "spoiling your kids rotten". Parents must scold and punish their kids at a young age for inappropriate behavior. And as children get older they cannot be afraid to confront their teenage children if they are doing something wrong. Not just turn away and say it is a phase and hope it goes away. If it is bad enough and they have to be taken kicking and screaming to a rehab center then DO IT (assuming they are still under 17).
  4. downsouth

    downsouth Active Contributor

    And also my deepest condolences to you for having lost your sister. I have a brother that dabbled with weed a bit. My parents and I gave him hell about it. He resisted at first but eventually listened. Yes it was only weed but what if he wanted something more addictive, something stronger ? He also started smoking and my mom hounded him about it. Not in a condescending way but in a diplomatic manner. Eventually after three years he stopped smoking completely. He attributes everything to my mother.
  5. Nikkishea21

    Nikkishea21 Active Contributor

    This is where it begins for so many seasoned drug users today just 'experimenting' as they call it. It is very serious and it should be a case where when these children are caught with the drug and it becomes known that the parents knew it was happening, they should be held accountable as well. We are talking about a substance having the potential to kill an individual and having them being out of touch with reality in such a way that violence may result in the loss of lives of others as well. I wonder, would these parents take this very same stance of guns, hearing of your child being in contact with it and just passing it off as he/she just experimenting? i think not. Drugs and guns for me possesses similar dangers especially to children.
  6. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    I've seen too many parents not want to "push" their teens away, only to have them end up dying or serving time in prison anyway. A pissed off teen better than a teen that has been wrapped around a telephone pole, in a cell for 10 years, or dead and in the ground. Sometimes the only choice a parent has is to push.
  7. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Interesting that she didn't want to parent a difficult child. I wonder if she was difficult as a child herself. I am so sorry that this happened. Personally I am a little tired of parents who don't want to take any responsibility for their child. I listened to a woman a couple of weeks ago talk about how she is not wanting to help her son out anymore. The child or even adult child is the way they are for a reason. Generally that is due to environment and some dynamic with their parents. I'm not sure I agree with this drug experimentation excuse. It is kind of like saying I am letting my teen try drugs and that is ok. I guess some people think they did it themselves so its all good.

    I always like to test the limit a little with teens or young adults. I just kind of ask them about it in a way that I can get an honest answer from them. Get their opinion about it. It is often surprising how most are against it. It really all depends upon the kid's dynamic with their parents. Some do the exact opposite of what they say and some go along with what they say. Its a tricky one, but I think it has to be addressed.
  8. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    It's one thing for a teenager to have a few beers at a party one night, or to try marijuana with their friends. But when kids become alcoholics because their parents don't do anything about it, it drives me insane! My brother has a bunch of friends where their parents will help them throw parties at their house, and the parents will stay and like drink and party with their kids and tons of their friends! It absolutely disgusts me when parents think this is okay. Don't provoke and encourage drinking problems and drug problems with your own damn kids!
  9. juno

    juno Community Champion

    Although I don't think teen experimentation is an addiction, it is drug abuse and all parents should put an end to it. It can lead to so much more, and if you don't disapprove, you give your child the wrong message about drugs.
  10. calicer1996

    calicer1996 Community Champion

    My condolence to your sister. May she rest in peace.
    And what you said is absolutely true. Parents please learn some parenting before it's too late!
  11. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    I feel like now a days there are two completely polar opposite types of parents; you're either incredibly strict and not trusting of your child at all to the point that it drives them to do drugs and drink and experiment a lot, or you have the parents who are more focused on having a really great relationship with their kids and end up being more of a friend to them than a parental figure, which results in the kid thinking that they have all of the power in the world to do whatever they want which ends up being drugs and alcohol.
  12. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    Teens are naturally curious, all you can do is warn them about the dangers and be there for them if something goes wrong. I think you need to stop blaming your parents, besides locking your sister up what else could they have done ?

    Most kids have experimented with drugs growing up and they turn out ok. The problem is if you openly start to meddle your kids might start to rebel, and then they might start to use even more drugs.

    Sometimes in life you have to admit you are powerless over other people and let go.
  13. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I agree with this sentiment. Your child should know not to experiment with something that could be dangerous. However, they should not be completely cut off from that world, because too much shelter leads to an outrageously defiant person. I believe that parents should make their kids aware of what dangers await in the world of drugs.
  14. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    Exactly! The more that you tell them how much they can't do something, the more that they are going to want to do it and at least try it out for themselves to make their own opinions about it. Teens are going to drink at one point or another, so at least as parents you need to give them a safe place to go when they really need help with things like this for when they screw up. I bet most parents did it when they were kids, if not worse.
  15. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    What drugs exactly are you talking about ? It is this sort of nonsense that encourages kids to experiment, then get addicted. The majority of mainstream illegal drugs do not do what you describe. There is one drug is fairly close to what you describe, you can buy it in any grocery, and it is even advertiesed, it is called booze. That one kills more people per a year then any other drug.

    The problem is kids use or see a friend using. None of the things you describe happen. So the kid thinks everything else you told him is nonsense. And then it spirals into addiction.
  16. ryan0039

    ryan0039 Active Contributor

    I'm sorry you've ever had to deal with losing a sibling, I'm sorry your mother ignored her too. Parents need to sit down and have serious talks with their kids that are more in depth than just 'drugs are bad for you, don't do them' and then let the schools do it. A lot of people don't take it seriously and don't realize what it can do to both body and mind.
  17. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    Peer pressure is definitely becoming a huge problem regardless of whether or not people want to admit it or whether or not kids will admit to it. I personally never really dealt with it until I got to college and I'm sort of getting through it, but my brother started smoking weed and drinking when he was as young as 13 years old, which I see as a serious problem as he was too young to know any better and my parents were too dumb and busy being his friend to notice that anything was wrong.
  18. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    We have to be fair and say that there is not a definite guide to treating people, nor is there a definite guide to treating loved ones when they get addicted. I have many friends whose parents were very strict against drugs and all it resulted in was that the kid hid it from them up to the moment when something bad happened.

    My take on it is that, if you wait for your kids to be curious about drugs and experimenting to talk to them about drugs, the effects and consequenes, it's probably that you're too late. You should make sure that they get a strong education about important stuff like this -- like about sex -- before they learn it from TV and their friends.