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Temptation & Depressed

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Brie, Oct 3, 2018.

  1. Brie

    Brie Member

    Hi, I'm new here and recently I've been struggling with staying sober, I'm going to give y'all a mini back-story and hopefully I can get some advice.
    When I was a teenager (13/14) my grandfather passed away right before my birthday & I became very depressed. I attempted suicide twice before my family sent me to a rehab center for people my age. It helped for a while. Fast forward to my high school years now (sophomore/junior), drinking became apart of my daily routine to help numb my feelings. My best friends stepped in & told my parents & I ended up going to rehab (even though I was mad at them for awhile) that summer. Senior year, I was sober & rarely depressed. A few months after graduation, my father passed away & the responsibility of my family lied solely on me (that's what my dad wanted before he died) so I never grieved properly, then back to back crappy relationships (where I had to take on their emotional baggage as well) it was all overwhelming. But my happiness came from my niece (who I raised since she was a baby). Then college and life started to be calm again for me. I went on to graduate from college (with honors) & have successful careers & even got married started my own family. Good right? Not really, I threw myself into everything else but taking care of myself (emotionally, spiritually etc ..) Recently I went to a concert & I've been fine with people drinking around me (6 1/2 years sober so why not). But I've been having these cravings for alcohol & it's been putting me back in a depressed state. I can only be strong for so long but now it seems like its getting harder to fight my demons & I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do anymore. Any helpful advice is welcome. Thanks ❤
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brie... Welcome to the forum and thanks so much for sharing with us. I'm glad you found us and decided to reach out.

    It sounds like you've been through a lot during your relatively short life: Depression, suicide attempts, the loss of your grandfather and father, rehab, being responsible for your family, bad relationships, etc. None of those things are easy; to have gone through all of them must have been incredibly trying. But even though you've experienced all of that stuff, you're still 6.5 years sober. That is so awesome and I am incredibly proud of you!

    I think the cravings for alcohol might be your brain's way of telling you to take care of yourself. You said yourself that you kind of let yourself go emotionally and spiritually. That's not a good thing for someone trying to maintain their sobriety. I'm wondering: Do you go to AA or SMART Recovery meetings? Or see a therapist? I think both of those things would really help keep you on the right path. The more tools you can have in your recovery tool box, the better.

    You can also use online resources for support. Things like this forum or online meetings (you can find them at https://www.intherooms.com) can be a big help. Again, additional tools for your recovery tool box.

    If I would you, I might consider staying away from triggers for a while and try to put the focus on you and your sobriety. I would practice some radical self-care and try to get yourself in the best mental health you can. I think that would go a long way toward helping you with your cravings.

    We are here to help and support you however we can. If you want advice or just someone to listen to you vent, you can come here anytime. You are not alone!

    You have an impressive amount of sober time under your belt and I'd hate to see you throw that away. So please consider doing everything you can to get yourself to a better place. Take good care of yourself. You deserve it!

    I'm sending you tons of positive energy and encouragement. And big hugs full of hope, too.
  3. Brie

    Brie Member

    Thanks for the reply & kind words, I really appreciate it ❤ & I haven't been to therapy in about two yearsyears, once some relatives found out, they did make jokes about it & were insensitive & not really supportive and they had a joke "third times a charm" (referencing my suicide attempts) so I just stopped everything & threw myself into work and other things. Now I'm just weighing my options on what to do, I don't want to be away from my daughters for so long but I want to be genuinely happy like the other 24 year olds that I know.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Brie

    Hello and welcome. I'm sorry that you're struggling and that you've had such great loss in your life already. I'm sure that was very challenging. I think it's great that you've had six and a half years sober. I'm also glad you're here reaching out for help. It does sound like you need some extra support right now. I'm just curious if you're able to a see a counselor or if you would like to. I think it can prove so valuable to go to therapy at various stages in life. I'm not sure if you've ever been to one, but I know plenty of people who have received immense help by doing so.

    There may be some things going on underneath the surface that might cause you to want to drink. Not sure if you would be up for a support group but there are some support groups out there as well. Or perhaps attending a religious or spiritual center might do you good. My point is that there are various tools you can use or paths you can travel so essentially it's you finding out what resonates with you. And just know that we're here to support and encourage you however we can.
    Brie and deanokat like this.
  5. Brie

    Brie Member

    Thanks for the response, I really appreciate it , & I start therapy again on Monday, but for now I'm just going to lay low for a bit.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Anytime, @Brie. I'm glad to hear you're starting therapy again on Monday. And laying low is probably a good idea. Remember that we're here if you need us. And we care.
  7. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    Hey Brie! I’m an alcoholic with a little over 41/2 years sober. I’m sorry your feeling cravings again that sucks. The first thing that comes of mind when I read your post is that “When A person relapses it’s not by fluke or accident it’s because they stopped doing what was necessary to stay sober” (Super simple right? But brilliant at the same time) Are you doing all the things necessary for YOU to stay sober? Could you be doing more? What’s changed? What do you need to change in order to get your recovery back on track? Relapses begin weeks or months before the actual first drink. So there’s plenty of time to recognize what you need to adjust in order to stay sober. This is your recovery and you and incharge of the outcome.
    Liola, True concern and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Great post, @Cametobelieve0202. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.

    @Brie... How are you doing today? If you get a chance, and if you don't mind, let us know how your therapy session goes today. We're here and we care.
    True concern likes this.
  9. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    I really like your message Cametobelieve0202...and your name too.
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Brie I am so sorry for the family members you have lost,I can relate as I have been through similar. I am very proud of you for staying sober almost 7 year's now that is an amazing accomplishment, I am so sorry other family member's said such wickedness like 3rd time's the charm referencing a suicide attempt that's sick,sad,and disturbing they would make lite of something so serious. @deanokat is correct I believe you need to re focus on strengthening yourself spiritually and emotionally to maintain your sobriety, use your love for your children as a means to find strength,you don't want to put them through life with an alcoholic, you know that only destruction would ensue and you obviously don't want that.I was sober almost 8 month's recently and I relapsed 1day and now I'm just past 1 month again but losing 8 month's emotionally destroyed me and I'm currently trying to mentally re stabilize so please remain strong and sober because I can't imagine what throwing away 7 year's of sobriety would do to a person all the way around.Stay Strong and God Bless you can overcome temptation, you have already proven that.Please chime in any time and talk with us you do not have to do this alone
  11. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thinking of you today, @Brie. Sending prayers your way.
    True concern likes this.