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Temptations which accompanies lonliness

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by Nikkishea21, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. Nikkishea21

    Nikkishea21 Active Contributor

    I am alone for some time now and the feeling of being lonely affects me at times and I say to myself, if only I had a cigarette or a drink but I do not carry this out. You have to be really strong to stand up to the temptation of masking the loneliness with drugs or other illicit activities and I am trying my best to maintain my composure.
    amethyst likes this.
  2. bluzkluz09

    bluzkluz09 Active Contributor

    I totally understand what you are saying. Dealing with stress is also an issue for me. I think maybe I'll just have small drink and that would help me relax. In reality though I know that's not the answer. It's not even a temporary fix. It is difficult to practice restraint but we must not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones. Being lonely for me is also stressful. I'm happy to have found this forum. It gives me an outlet for my thoughts and my feelings. I often feel as is those around me just don't understand. I don't know if my brain is wired different. It's just not the same unless you are talking to people who have been in your situation or is going through it currently. Misery loves company the saying goes.
  3. keeshamarie

    keeshamarie Member

    This hits home, trust me I know the feeling. Its all apart of coping and trying to over come urges. I think the biggest barrier is our minds, it will play so many tricks on us. Making us believe that we need things and people that we really don't. Every time I get those kind of feelings I try to remind myself that its never worth going backwards and some things and people are just not needed in your life anymore.
  4. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    I big part of what lead to my abuse was loneliness and trying to avoid the feelings I was having. I think that even after you deal with the addiction it's extremely important to deal with those issues. If they led to the addiction, or even contributed to it in some way, it's best to make sure that they get dealt with so that those same feelings don't start to creep back up on you, and possibly send you down a similar path.
  5. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    That sounds bad. And a bit sad, you should not have to feel lonely!
    Sometimes I do have a eating problem where I just eat and eat and eat, whatever unhealthy thing I can find, without the least bit of hunger. I don't know if it can compare -- usually it's just because I'm bored, and alone, and because it's so easy.
    Have you tried getting a hobby? Or at least a fascinating book or TV show that could absorb you and take your mind off it?
  6. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Loneliness has often tried to lead me into temptation. From time to time I suffered so much from loneliness that I wanted to drink an entire bottle of whiskey to forget everything, and to possibly kill myself with it. But my inner voice always told me that things would improve and get better with time. The only thing is, that I have grown tired over the years... tired of the fighting, hoping and endless work to stay on top of everything.
  7. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Please keep hanging on, things can improve. Are you getting any help at the moment or are you dealing with these feelings all by yourself?
  8. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    missbishi, these feelings have accompanied me for over 20 years now. They come and they go, and each time they put new perspectives on my life. I have long learnt to deal with these matters myself, but naturally, it helps if there is someone who really understands or who like to share my feelings. It's rare when someone like that comes along, and it's only happened once in my life so far... which is more than I could have ever hoped for. A invaluable gift.
  9. LitoLawless

    LitoLawless Senior Contributor

    I think that is what happens when it comes to loneliness. The loneliness forces us to look deep within ourselves, and sometimes we don't like what we see, and crave the escape that we are so use to. I think that it's important to encounter those things, especially when on the road to recovery. You can't get better if you don't admit, and face your problems head-on.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Look for a substitute. I've met some people online who ended up being some really good friends. They got to be better friends than the ones I had in the real world. Sometimes the way to combat loneliness is find an online forum where people whom you share interests with hang out, and as you discuss stuff with them, you'll eventually make some friends who'll help you forget your loneliness. That will temporarily fix your problems.
  11. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Good for you that you have such mind setting and nice to know about it.
    We should bear in our minds that being lonely should not be a reason to use those bad substances that could make our lives miserable and can also destroy our health.
  12. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    Good for you for being able to resist those temptations. Yes, we all can relate to it. If you are lonely, you are more likely to do things that are out of ordinary to mask those loneliness. Personally, I found myself snacking more if I am alone.

    That's why, I think it is healthy for me to go to interact with my co workers and do things together no matter how boring it is. However, on the other side of the spectrum, having a lot of friends that can push you into addictions is more dangerous. I have to find a good balance between having good social activities and protecting myself from friends that can kick start another addiction.
  13. musicmonster

    musicmonster Senior Contributor

    It is never healthy to be alone. It is best to interact and communicate with people to avoid depression and temptation.
  14. goldenmaine

    goldenmaine Active Contributor

    Continue being strong in avoiding these substances and illicit activities. They can be really tempting at times when we feel like we are non-existent and alone. Having friends and companions in life is normal and needed by most people. You can join some clubs or contact some old friends for companionship. Having people around will definitely ease the loneliness and keep you away from any activities that may be harmful.
  15. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    To avoid being lonely, i would suggest you go out in places likes parks or movie theaters where there is a high chance that you'll get distracted by something interesting and possibly alter your mood. It's important that we break off from the monotony of our daily lifestyle in order to get busy with other forms of activity that may make us more productive and less likely to engage in reckless behavior.
  16. bombshell

    bombshell Member

    They say an "idle mind is the devils workshop". Find something to occupy your time. If I am sitting at home with nothing to do I will turn on YouTube and do a workout video or go outside, take a walk or call/text somebody. If you are lonely don't be afraid to reach out to somebody.
  17. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    The lonliness definitely gets to me all of the time, but I don't turn to drugs or alcohol, I turn to any sort of interaction with a man that I can get. It's horrible. The fact that I will sleep with a guy just so that I don't feel alone is so bad, but I can't stop it. I hate the feeling of being alone and feeling so alone like I always do, and I would much rather have the satisfaction of being with someone for a while, even if they're going to break my heart and hurt me in the end, than spend yet another night alone.