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Texting addictions

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by Rosyrain, May 9, 2015.

  1. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    This is a form of addiction I have been reading about in which one spouse texts with someone of the opposite sex to get emotional attention they are not receiving from their partner. Thee real term I guess is "sexting". What do you do if you find out your partner is addicted to sexting? It could very well not be an actual cheating scenario, but it hurts just the same. How do you confront the subject? Intervention?
  2. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    This is considered emotional cheating as far as I'm concerned and it should be a dealbreaker for every relationship out there.
    I think you simply tell that specific person things are over, not say too much. He/she's the one who crossed the boundaries and you shouldn't feel guilty for it.
  3. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    In a lot of ways, emotional cheating can be far more damaging than an incident where one party goes out, gets drunk and has a one nighter. Just because no physical contact has occured doesn't mean that it's OK at all.
  4. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I agree completely. At least when drugs or alcohol are involved and it is a single isolated incident, you might be able to overcome that. It is when someone is constantly texting with someone else that there is a connection formed.
  5. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    As far as I'm concerned cheating is cheating, betrayal is betrayal, and hurting is hurting. The details are irrelevant.
  6. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Well, of course you get him or her to talk with you about it, and behave like she or he cheated on you, because having intention is as bad as the act itself. Then you start asking yourself questions and if you can make this work out because if your partner needed a sext partner then there is something that doesn't work out quite well.
  7. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I have an ex who would do that. I found out he did a lot of other... Stuff, too. The part that got me the most is that he could sit in a room with me, less than 5 foot away and do it, while acting like things are great. At least when he heated in person it wasn't while looking at me and talking to me. How cold can someone get???
  8. d4rk3n

    d4rk3n Active Contributor

    The world is as bad as it gets I guess. I don't think I would tolerate my partner 'sexting' with someone. In the first place, its blatantly stupid. And the saddening part is that my partner will be fully conscious while doing that, so that's plain cheating.
    kana_marie likes this.
  9. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I felt like such an idiot when I found out who and what he had been doing. And, oh yeah, sober and conscious every time. I regret every moment wasted with him. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted it to be an open relationship. If we did it that way there wouldn't be expectations and broken promises. Well, apparently when he said he didn't want that, he was just referring to me.
  10. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I think the best way to treat a person with a "sexting" addiction is to confront him out right. There's no point sugarcoating the matter because if you do so, it may take a turn for the worse. Tell the person you don't like what they're doing because it's tantamount to cheating even if no actual intercourse occurred. You have to give the person an ultimatum so that he straightens up his act.
    Rubyrose likes this.
  11. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    This is a really bad addiction since so many innocent people have already been killed due to texting and driving. I just don't know how we can express the seriousness of this habit without making examples of certain individuals who are caught doing this. I certainly hope that some will begin to take this seriously because it seems to be increasing.
  12. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    You're right, a lot of innocent people have been killed because of drivers who were texting instead of being aware of what on the road, but the sexting part also killed a lot of people, some of them got so attached to the person they were talking with and when they realized it was only on the internet, they killed themselves. So for everyone here, be careful who you're talking with and never take a relationship on the internet to serious, you never know when it's going to be over.
  13. d4rk3n

    d4rk3n Active Contributor

    Long distance relationship is a different thing, but internet based relation is as good as myth. It just never works. How can you trust someone without even meeting him/her once? Everyone has their own different persona and it wouldn't be a surprise if the real guy differs a lot from the guy on the internet.
  14. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I also think that even without actual or physical contact, that is still considered cheating. Which eventually can be worse than that so it should be stop as early as being discovered.
  15. Miaka_M

    Miaka_M Active Contributor

    I feel like this is a type of method to cheat. It reminds me of people who are on dating sites and chat with others even when they are in a relationship, its the same thing, no? Sexting is like engaging the other person into sexual context (me and my boyfriend do this sometimes, I'll admit, but to one another because we live on opposite ends of the city).

    Texting in general is very addicting, I'm definitely one of those who is addicted to it. Like many others have said, it is very dangerous especially on the road.
  16. katherine25

    katherine25 Senior Contributor

    In my opinion it is still cheating, emotional cheating is no different to me. I do admit that I am also addicted to texting and it is such a horrible habit. I dont text and drive though, I have two kids and its just not worth the risk.
  17. hunkydoire

    hunkydoire Member

    Although it really depends on the situation and how far in-depth the 'sexting' goes, yes, I concur that it is still cheating, but not quite as severe as actually having physical intimacy with someone. In some ways, it can be even more intimate than physical cheating in a way, because both partners are being close enough to express their deepest wants and desires.
    I remember one time when I was working at a call center, a co worker was bragging to me about her intimate texts, or rather 'sexts', and she showed some of them to me. I'm no naive woman, but wow! These texts even made ME blush! They were like straight up out of a XXX rated story off the internet. Very in depth. So yes, I guess people can cheat that way. Which sucks , really. If you're into that, why can't you just express it to your partner, and share that kind of intimacy with them? Then, everyone would be happy, and no one would be hurt.
  18. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    You will find yourself wasting money just for nothing. This is common among idlers who don't have any work to do. It is also a wastage of time since you are not doing some constructive work there. That is another issue that that we need to confront.
  19. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    It is just crazy that people have to deal with stuff like this in their relationships these days. It used to be that people would have to plan out secret places to have affairs and now it is just to easy to cheat on someone, if not physically, still emotionally. Now they even have those secret texting apps and the whole thing is just sick and twisted.
  20. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I reckon that a person should confront the spouse and see if there is any problems in the marriage and try and solve it before it goes further than the texting stage which will ruin everything the two have. It is important to give time and also treat the spouse well, as if you don't the person can feel neglected and try and get the comfort from somwhere else and may start an affair, something that they did not think about. A person should be very careful about who they talk to on the phone or the internet and if meeting the person take others and let them sit from a distance and see what is going on and they can intevere if it is going the wrong way and be careful as well.