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The Desperate Need to Vent The Brutal Destruction I Continue To Facilitate

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by johndoe747, Jun 24, 2018.

  1. johndoe747

    johndoe747 Member

    Thank you so much Dominica; this community is already having a conducive benefit but i do still need to share my moments of weakness, but i keep in mind that it represents a step towards strength and sobriety.
    Dominica likes this.
  2. johndoe747

    johndoe747 Member

    So I hope everyone is doing well, and equally your loved ones! I have been working hard the past 3 days, and have really managed to divert my craving to use, but as i expressed; when all is well, that god damn craving comes back. I justified it by telling myself, well people have a drink to let their hair down, so my guilty pleasure is to have some cocaine. But i know this is not the case.

    I am proud of myself in the sense that sharing my story with you all, and hearing yours, has been a positive. I told my partner, who i am going to propose to this year, that i am on a forum being support by amazing people. She was very proud and happy, which in turn, made me feel warm inside.

    So with the cocaine i got tonight; I had two small 'lines', and then gave it to my partner to take away the urge. I know i need to accept responsibility and manage it myself, but this is my way of showing her i mean business, even though i still slip up. Day by day; I know life's purpose becomes more evident.

    Yours truly
    Dominica, True concern and deanokat like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Dominica, True concern and johndoe747 like this.
  4. johndoe747

    johndoe747 Member

    Thank you deeply. I really need to retain those words. Also, it allows for mistakes to be made but with progression :)
    deanokat likes this.
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener


    i am a poet too, so i really do appreciate the beauty and raw feelings here.... "fluttered delirium" :) i love that!

    thank you so much for sharing!
    johndoe747 and deanokat like this.
  6. johndoe747

    johndoe747 Member

    :) Thank you so much; i have many poems and songs i have wrote, and it really helps to just pick up the acoustic guitar, and sing. But i have recently wrote two poems that i will share on here. I would love to see yours :)
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Love the poem, @johndoe747. Feel free to share the other two!
    True concern likes this.