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The Fear Of Losing Friends

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Rainman, May 24, 2015.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    A large number of people use drugs because it gives them the opportunity to be out with friends. Those who regularly drink with friends may be unwilling to stop drinking because they fear they'll their drinking buddies. A real friend though will stand by you no matter what. Once you make a choice to fight your addictions, anyone who chooses to walk out of your life . . . let them leave. You'll be better off without them.

    Terrified of losing friends should you decide to fight an addiction? You shouldn't be. Real friends never leave.
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think with a lot of people they need to feel secure and fitting in with friends, is a part of that. While it's true that real friends will be there no matter what, these days I don't think many people know who their real friends are.

    If that's the case, it's easier to just keep doing what your doing and try and keep everybody happy.
  3. Lackluster

    Lackluster Active Contributor

    If you lose a friend when you're trying to get over an addiction, you didn't lose a friend. You lost a drinking buddy. Your real friends would be there with you and try to help you, even if just emotionally.
    trevermorgana likes this.
  4. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    "Real friends never leave" - that's a really good saying that everyone should keep at the back of their mind. I wouldn't worry about friends leaving. If they didn't have the patience to stick around they weren't worth my time anyway, so I just dodged a bullet there.
  5. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    This is so true. In fact, addiction gives us the opportunity to determine who our real friends actually are - those who stick around when you are trying to quit are definitely well worth keeping. Others, however, will fall at the wayside and that's OK - it's just a natural progression.
  6. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Once you decide to stop drinking everything changes. You might start feeling better about not consuming alcohol anymore, but the next thing that many face is loneliness. Where do all those "great" friends suddenly disappear to when you need them? Well, it turns out that they were only ever drinking buddies, and that you have very little in common in real life. But not to worry, they aren't a big loss. Real friends stay with you for a life time.
  7. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    Yes, I agree. A true friend would show unconditional support. Otherwise, it's just pure peer pressure. However, if there's no compliance on our part, I doubt anything bad could ensue. I guess that fitting in is sometimes more important to us even than our own health. We might not realize what we're getting ourselves into but that has never stopped fate, nature or God - whatever you call it - from doing its thing. But then again, everyone sets their priorities differently, so there's no room for judgment here.
  8. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    True friends are the ones who hang out with you even without the influence of alcohol or drugs. They stay with you in your lowest and highest points. The people who influence you to do drugs or abuse substances are definitely not your friends. They're just acquaintances who can easily be erased from your life just as easily as how they negatively influenced you. They will never be permanent parts of your life because they're just with you for the fun, never for the trying times. During the critical times of your life, that's when your true friends come out. They're the ones worth keeping for the rest of your life.
    Lackluster likes this.
  9. Lackluster

    Lackluster Active Contributor

    A lot of people don't realize how important they are to those kinds of friends, too. It's easy to overlook the impact we have on other people because we don't feel the immediate effects of our presence. Wherever I go, there I am. At the same time, those kinds of friends don't realize how important they are to you, or how much you miss them when they're not around.
    gracer likes this.
  10. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    This reminds me of the times when I used to drink and smoke. I had many so called friends back then and I must say I barely hanged out with my long time friends during that time. After all the merry making and the hang-overs when my head is clear from all the substances, I would suddenly remember my old friends and the old times we shared. Now that I'm older and fully sober, looking back at those times I used to hang out with many people I realize I couldn't even remember their names or faces anymore. But my true friends who managed to stay until now are still significantly part of me. Yes, we don't hang out anymore and we don't communicate quite often because we're mostly living in different continents now but we're all still friends by heart and spirit. :)
  11. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    If your friends are dragging you down and influencing you to do drugs, alcohol, and other substances, I think they would never be ideal friends for you. Just ditch them and find new ones who would always be there for you and would lift your spirits up.
  12. Lackluster

    Lackluster Active Contributor

    Like I said, those kinds of friends are drinking buddies, not really true friends. There's nothing wrong with having buddies like that, but the real friends are those who are there to pull you out a ditch at three in the morning, when your tire pops going down the road. And the ones who are happy to see you after two years, let alone two days. You know exactly the kinds of friends I'm talking about here.
    gracer likes this.
  13. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    That is a fact, real friends never leave. If you continue to take drugs you may never have the opportunity to experience this. Even without drugs we go through so many changes in our lives and we grow away from some friends, while we are constantly moving on to new ground, new experiences and new friends. This is a good thing, so never feel bad about leaving old friends behind. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season.
  14. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    So true. I think to myself about so called friends I had to leave behind that did nothing but encourage and enable addictive behaviors - I have no care about what they're doing now, and no desire to know. I don't know if that makes me sound like a horrible person but really, I had to step away from them and that lifestyle to be a better person for me. True friends will stick by you - they will want the best for you and not want you to go through something like addiction. Sometimes that's a hard thing to realize, because often it can mean that you don't have as many true friends as you thought. But that's better than having toxic people in your life, in my opinion.
  15. CallipygianGamine

    CallipygianGamine Community Champion

    I know when I was younger, I would do things I didn’t even enjoy just to be around people. It went on for quite some time. Deciding to rid yourself of a detrimental habit does have a funny way of showing you who your real friends are. I still struggle with certain aspects of my life, but overall I think it’s much better than it was when I was around toxic influences all the time.