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The happy depressive

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by DK01, Feb 16, 2015.

  1. DK01

    DK01 Active Contributor

    Does anyone else who's suffering from depression every project over-happiness to mask the fact they're feeling awfully sad at that precise moment?
  2. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I've done that more times than I care to remember. Especially at work! I might be feeling sad but I never want anyone to ask me about it so I've always tried to paint a smile on when in company.
  3. Kappys

    Kappys Member

    Of course. It is a very human thing to do; to mask ones sadness for the sake and happiness of others. I also do it so that the people i speak to wont suspect anything wrong and not inquire anything to me.
  4. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Yes, I think this is a thing with most people who are depressed. Feeling sad is often taboo in a lot of cultures as we are all expected to just power on through without giving much notice to our emotions but it is slowly becoming obvious that it's not a very healthy way to keep moving forward. At some point it just becomes too much to handle and eventually people will have to address it sincerely instead of just pushing the issue under a rug.
  5. Janie

    Janie Active Contributor

    I know a person who does this. I on the other hand am like an open book. I can't hide or mask my feelings at all, no matter how hard I try. I actually admire people who can "fake" it, I think it is a good coping strategy. Also I do believe that sometimes just faking happiness can lead at least to more neutral feelings, rather than complete depressive ones. But of course I'm sure it takes a toll on people and I would think these people might have a higher chance of having a real break down.
  6. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I have not been diagnosed as depress but I know I often feel quite stressed out and will often tell my friends I am smiling for the cameras. When I was spending more time in Retail it required that I also smiled for my customers even when they were the source of my stress. I reckon I deserve some sort of Oscar.

    While I could be the perfect actress for me it was not something I enjoyed. After a while it takes a toll on you like Janie said.
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2015
  7. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I don't ever pretend to be happy when I'm not. Instead of trying to sugarcoat my depression with a smiling, sunshiny facade, I arrange my face into a blank, expressionless one (others might call it "pokerface"). Better unreadable than obviously trying to hide something. Listening to music and reading inspirational quotes do help. So if you want to maintain the "poker look," do these things at the same time.
  8. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    I agree with most of the posters, being sad and gloom is somewhat of a bad thing in our society and is looked down upon! So it is natural to paint a fake smile on one's face when depressed just as to avoid the stares and the asks.

    I personally don't like pretending period. I would much rather remove myself from the situation or people until such a time that I am okay again.
  9. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I am being very serious here my previous comments aside. I really believe in presenting a pleasing expression especially when you are in a work setting. Too many times I have encountered these sour expressions that paying customers do not deserve.

    I have always told my small staff no one is interested in what goes on their home life and they are not the source of their misery so never take it out out on unsuspecting customers so be pleasing. Where it is too much to "hide" they are free to leave to get it together. In my own case if I can't hide my expressions and I don't have a substitute I actually tell my customers I am having a difficult day so forgive me if I look a little sad or distant. I let them know it has nothing to do with them.

    I really don't call that pretending especially in a work setting. I call that being professional and demonstrating good manners.

    With friends and family, I believe that should be approached in a more open way depending on the circumstance.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I'm not that good an actor. Even if I tried to make myself look happy when I'm not, I'll forget that I was supposed to be acting happy and those around me would notice that there is something wrong. Good thing though is these days I don't go out often and for that reason don't have to pretend.
  11. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I have seen people get downright cocky and over happy when they are trying to mask the fact that they are hurting inside. It drives me crazy because I know the person is not really like this and I just have to wait for it to pass. The one thing you can't do is acknowledge it because that seems to fuel the fire. I wish people would just be honest with their emotions and let others know when they are hurting so that people who care can help. I know that it is embarrassing for the person going through the trauma of being depressed though.
  12. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    For me, it happens all the time. I usually meditate and focus my mind on thinking of a brighter future where i live a life full of happiness and total bliss. Although the reality on the ground speaks otherwise, am totally inclined to have positive thoughts to deal with the pressures of life.
  13. bombshell

    bombshell Member

    I hide my emotions all the time. I do not necessarily think I over project happiness, but I will not cry or whine to others about how I am feeling. I crack jokes all of the time and am generally an upbeat person and am the same way when I am upset or hurt by something. I prefer to deal with my problems alone.
  14. wander_n_wonder

    wander_n_wonder Active Contributor

    I think that's a tendency to exude extreme happiness to cover up deep sadness within. It's also the reason why there are quite a number of comedians who has quite a lonely life in reality, but you would not be able to see it just because they look happy all the time and they even make other people laugh.

    However, this is also not to conclude that everyone who is overly happy is actually depressed. There are also just some people out there who are blessed with genuine happiness in life.
  15. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I'm not really good at hiding my depression. It's like, when I'm happy it's written all over my face that I'm genuinely happy, and when I'm sad, it's also very evident in my actions and responses that I'm going through something. But sometimes, people overlook those things or maybe they are just too insensitive. That makes me feel depressed even more.
  16. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I think in my case, what you see is what you get most of the time, and if ever I do feel depressed, it would be quite transparent, so I would just rather hide from the people that I do not want to know that I'm depressed. But if the person I will be facing is someone that I trust and confide in, then I will open up to that person my problems asap.
  17. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    One can do something else to suppress the negative thoughts and think positively. We can be happy by doing something we love most. Sometimes we try comforting ourselves but we can not, that is when we need friends. By joining your friends and engaging in different activities, you find yourself concentrating on whatever you are doing. By just sitting there, you find that your mind is concentrated towards that same thought, making it hard for you to think positively. Movies can divert your stressful moments towards their subject, depending with your likes. But the most important thing to try and be busy somewhere, with people who can share different stories with you. You can explain why you are out with them, and they may offer a helping hand which will help you out of your situation. Do not opt to drinking since your friends have suggested so, you will find out that you are still depressing yourself which will not help you out of the situation.
  18. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    Yes. Sometimes, you almost seem to completely forget what happiness feels like, so you try to be over-the-top with the happiness to the point where you are animated. It is like you are becoming an actor who does not really know how to accurately portray emotions.
  19. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    When I am down, I usually withdraw from the world and go to a quiet place where I can be alone with my thoughts and feelings. The last thing I want in those times is to have people around me to whom I have to pretend that everything is ok, when it's not. On the one hand I want to protect myself, and on the other I don't wont to make others worry about me, or even hurt them.
  20. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I think that is the best thing to do. There is no point in hiding how you feel just because it is looked down on.