I had an incredibly difficult day. Yesterday was my Cousin's 30th birthday. Thing is while I was there to remember, and celebrate it, and she just isn't. She passed away this past September from a Heroin overdose. We had been estranged for many years and got back in touch around May of last year after not talking or interacting since I was 13. I vaguely remember the last time I saw her when I was 13. She was 16. From there I saw her only twice from May - September 2015, but we talked daily. I even tagged her on Facebook the morning she died. She had already been gone, but I just didn't know it yet. I'm really struggling with the loss. We had become like siblings you see her brother had died from a diabetes complication 2.5 years ago and my brother had also died from a Heroin Overdose 5.5 years ago. It just felt like I had a sibling again and to have it ripped away so quickly was devastating. I just can't take it. This has been eating me alive inside.