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The long lived battled road to hell and or heaven!

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Black leopard, Nov 23, 2016.

  1. Black leopard

    Black leopard Member

    Hello, I start with I'm Dee, I'm a 39 year old woman that lives in the city of Minneapolis ,MN. I'm a high energy friendly woman who has traveled the roads not traveled. I'm like a cat. I suffer from Bi polar and borderline personality disorder, I have grown among the mentally ill so yet, I am also mentally ill. Well and its in my genes. Moving threw life I was always looking for new fun things in my mind ,crazy unknown. I always wanted ways to escape and broaden my mind also. but mostly hide the **** that I or my mind didn't want to deal with. I grew up with chaos and disfunction, mainly watching drinkers and some drug use but I had an eye for the **** I knew I hadn't seen. I grew up in foster homes and mental hospitals so in a lot of ways it was hospitals that started me on the great road of addiction. Once they couldn't hold me or there was no one to commit me I shot out of there like a bullet, looking for trouble. I mainly started with weed and ,lsd and booze a bit of coke. I loved acid it was all that was me. The creative high and I felt in touch with the earth and my mind and other colorful artistic types. I progressed to selling acid to always smoking weed to drinking a lot to lines of coke to pills to rageful drinking and massive amounts of powders to lots of pills to always having weed to help maintain my edgey hangovers. I became a massive drinker with a heavy meth and light visits of herion and pills to whatever. I have done lots of therapy and still visit my hippie trip few and far between. I have stopped drinking do to massive injury and jail time to fighting, I'm a trained kick boxer with short of an attitude, yeah maybe of a mobster. I have pulled many remnant of my life back together. I have to care for myself better because I have a son and a grand , regretfully my son suffered in all this bullshit. Many of relationships sank, MANY!!! so I'm at the point I don't drink no gallbladder and I cant smoke pot I'm on probation which sucks weed out of everything is the best medicine for me it helps with my mind my pain and just dealing with the chaos ive caused my body. the meth had stopped bit then a year maybe 2. Ive been told its almost killed me , I hate it I really don't get high even. But I always know its out of my system in 3 days, it stops a lot of my mind craze and stupifys me a bit, I guess. I was having abit of trouble a month back smoking herion. But I got myself out of it. But I cant shake the occasional smoking of speed. I don't know. I wish I could smoke weed I don't think it be an issue. Just a cluster ****. almost everyone I know is effected by dope aka meth. Ive tried to escape there is none. Its everywhere and birds of a feather flock together.. So the truth. And I wont leave a man behind meaning no one gets left. Ive had to many deaths and so many loved ones killed. I help them every day and have had them die in my presence maybe I'm crazy. Hmmm