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The pain of a caring mother

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by stagsonline, Oct 28, 2014.

  1. stagsonline

    stagsonline Active Contributor

    A dedicated mother raised her son in all ways of a caring parent. Like others in his teens, he started drinking 'socially' just to fit in with other kids. This changed to an addiction so bad that his mother was increasingly concerned about his safety and that of her own too. She was a single mother. He had began getting home late, coming with drinking buddies home, developed a don't care attitude and a bad temper. Son listened to mum no more, justifying everything with "I'm a grown up!!" tag. Mum ended up depressed wondering what to do with a son who even threatened her occassionally.

    So she decided to look for someone to talk to her son, a close uncle, and he did. What was hoped for turned to be a regretable day. Son listened to them, not saying a word, then he got up and went to his room and came back in a moment. Within a few minutes, he began sweating, saying things that mum and uncle coudn't understand and then he collapsed. A note in his hand saying, " I deserve it".

    This is the story of a young man called Eddie, raised by a loving mother but ended up taking his own life. A lethal drug-overdose. The pain of a caring mother, so heartening that she carries it to this day. Wondering what she did wrong. What happened to my son? How did it happen? How it all ended up still brings a tear in my eye.

    Single mothers face a far greater challenge when it comes to dealing with kids who are addicted to alcohol. But I believe that being single is not their undoing.
  2. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Thanks for sharing this, stagsonline.
  3. jdroc

    jdroc Active Contributor

    Single Mother have a tough time with a lot of stuff. Yeah, Thanks of sharing.
  4. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Single mothers, yeah they are like super people. Especially when the dad is not present at all. "a loving mother" there is always more to that. Most say there is no manual. There is if you look for it. Sometimes what people think is loving behavior is not, but I've thought of people who said they love, but the reality is they are completely clueless about the word.
    If anyone really loves themselves, their family, and children. They will learn how to be the best that they can be. This includes being a good parent. Instilling honesty, integrity, and the difference between right and wrong. It is clear that love is not enough to keep someone out of drugs.
  5. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    It is tough for “real good stable home making” Mom’s and Dad’s to raise a child and even harder for a single Mom.
    It does not matter if you’re the president, a preacher, rich or poor. Dedicated every moment or part time; raising a child in this day and age is a mighty challenge to all.
    We do the best we can, with what we have; it is often no matter how much time energy and effort we give them. Some will take the path to destruction and there is just nothing we can do to help them; many will choose to leave this earth suddenly with no warning leaving a grieving parent felling guilty and alone.
    Heartfelt thoughts to you, best wishes that you will gain strength during an awful time of sorrow.
  6. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    My heart breaks for this woman. Being a single mom is very difficult on so many levels. I am sad that she lost her son who she loved so much. The son she tried to get help for before it was too late. Thank you for sharing this with us.
  7. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I don't think any single mother planned to be just a single mother in the first place. I believe no one wants to have a broken family, but things don't always work out when it comes to marriage. Anyway, that's really a sad story. I sympathize with the mother. She did the best that she could, but still, it wasn't enough.
  8. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I was raised in a single parent family and it is a lot harder than people think. My mother used to work all the hours she could just to look after me and be able to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, and she still got looked down upon.

    As a child growing up in that environment it wasn't easy either and from an early age I had to take on responsibilities that a child of my age at the time shouldn't have to.

    It's easy for a single mother to care too much, as they think they have to provide enough love for the parent that's missing, and in some ways try to to make up for the fact there is only one parent, but that shouldn't be the case at all.
  9. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    Wow, what a heartbreaking story! It is really sad how it all ended... thank you for sharing this with us!
    I for one believe that being a single parent can get so tough but yet there are a lot of dedicated and loving single parents out there doing it because of the unconditional love they have for their children.

    Let's not forget that fathers can also find themselves single and looking after their children. I commend all the single mothers and fathers out their, their job really is a tough one especially if they don't have any external help or support!
  10. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I think single moms are truly some of the most hardworking people out there. It's a struggle raising a child sometimes even when you have the support of your significant other but to do it solo is no doubt incredibly demanding.

    I think open conversations are the most important thing in preventing this happening - but sometimes I think parents need to remember that they can't control everything, and not to be too hard on themselves. Sometimes even the best of intentions and actions can see things not working out in the manner we would like.
  11. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Thank you very much for sharing this. Mother's can experience some of the worst pain of all because not only do they hurt for themselves, but they also hurt for the children they bring into this world. It hurts bad when you know there is nothing you can do to stop your child from doing what they are doing.
  12. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    The son is mentally unstable, so no wonder a simple "talk" made him react in such a weird way that he took his own life. I feel sorry for that mom, but she did the best that she could at the time in hope of disciplining her son.
  13. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    This would be so hard because as a mother you feel you're doing your absolute best to raise them right and then when they end up with addiction I bet the mother starts blaming herself and wondering where she went wrong.
  14. juno

    juno Community Champion

    Thanks for sharing. Single mother's definitely have their hands full and depending on their circumstances and the direction they decide to take their lives, how they impact their children can really make a difference.