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The Serenity Prayer

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by HopefullyRecoverable, Nov 27, 2018.

  1. I made a painting out of green and black paint. The background is green, and in black I painted the Serenity Prayer on a canvas, and I hung it on my wall. It reminds me to have peace in my powerlessness against alcohol and other substances. However, and I think this is how it goes, we are helpless but not hopeless. To have faith when it comes to addiction is the answer. It has been a long time since I have posted. I told you my story about how I experimented with all sorts of street drugs and that I spent about 15 years of my life getting high on cough medicine, sometimes every day. And how I cheated on my urinalysis both in a psychiatric hospital and in rehab. Because cough medicine cannot be detected with a urinalysis, my rehab stay was based upon trust. But I just couldn't do it. But I hadn't done cough medicine for about a year and a half, but recently I had two relapses. The first one was before Halloween this year when I went to an opera and didn't want to cough during the performance. I took half the bottle of gels the night before, and half the night of the performance. You see I have a chronic cough, but my doctor and psychiatric team all agree that I shouldn't use DXM but deal with it in other ways. The second relapse was when I flew to another state last week to visit my relatives. I did not smoke a cigarette the entire time, and so I felt so anxious and wanted to control my lingering cough that I bought another bottle there. So, I feel like I've started from the beginning. I am dual diagnosis, both with a psychiatric disorder and a substance abuse history. My psychiatrist is working with me on this one. The high felt mildly euphoric, but it wasn't worth it because of a low and how guilty I felt afterwards. Thank you for listening to my need to speak. I appreciate all your help and support.
    deanokat likes this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @HopefullyRecoverable hello again! glad you're here.

    i'm glad you're working with your psychiatrist on this... you are right in saying that there is HOPE... for sure. you didn't use cough medicine for a year and a half, so you know you can abstain!! that's great!

    know that we are here to support you however we can. hope to keep seeing you around!!

    also, have you looked into natural avenues for contending with cough? just curious.
    deanokat likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thanks for your post, @HopefullyRecoverable. Your painting sounds awesome, and it's nice to have the Serenity Prayer visible as a constant reminder. It's also terrific that you're working with a psychiatrist. Yes, there is always hope. And I now you can find long-term sobriety. If you mix willingness and hope enough times, you will get there.

    Please know that we're here for you. Reach out and lean on us anytime.

    Sending you tons of encouragement and hope.
    True concern likes this.